Writing Feedback / TOEFL - People are put too much focus on making wealth and progress in technology [4]

Essay Topic
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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303 words
Thanks in advance!
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The life today is totally different from half centuries before. Advances in technology do help humans to solve abundant of problems; however it also deprives of some things that we had. In my opinion, life in the old days brings more happiness to people than today for several reasons.

The first reason is life is simple in the past. Nowadays, all humans compete together. Since world population getting higher, competition is getting fierce. If you are not able to handle your jobs, then someone will replace you right away. People need to put much more effort to keep their living condition. Therefore, lives in the old days is easier than today.

Second, the environment today is serious damaged. Looking out the windows, what I see isn't sky, trees or mountains, but is coldly high buildings. Everyday, I walk on hard roads, breath in polluted air, and live in a limited space. What's worse, it has been proved that living in this kind of condition will result in some mental diseases. Thus, the environment our grandparents live is more comfortable than today.

The third reason is that the pace of life. Today, we are able to read the news all over the world, to chat with people through the Internet, or to travel around the world by planes; however, it also means that any thing happens in the world will affect our life. If we cannot react properly and immediately, then we will be in a vulnerable situation. We have no choice but have to live in a fast pace.

In conclusion, while there some people live in a pretty good condition, it is only a minority. People are put too much focus on making wealth and progress in technology; nevertheless, behind the glamorous facade of it, what we loss will never be returned.

Writing Feedback / The value of understanding ideas and concepts is higher than learning facts. [3]

[TPO7]

Essay Topic
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for
them to learn facts.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Although many people believe facts have more practical effects than abstract words, I think ideas and concepts have more potential force that will affect our whole life. In my opinion, the value of understanding ideas and concepts is higher than learning facts.

The first reason is ideas and concepts are difficult to grasp. Unlike facts, we can find it out by continuously testing. On the contrary, ideas are hard to perceive, because ideas usually contains more range of knowledge and develops for a long time. Therefore, understanding ideas and concepts will increase our competitiveness.

Second, ideas and concepts are usually created by outstanding persons. Those people dedicate their whole life to specific areas and in the end they left all their efforts in their words. Those words are the ideas and concepts we learn now. Thus, learning ideas is not just learning it, but learn from those great persons.

The third reason is we will benefit a lot by understanding just one idea or concept. For example, there are too many stories describing how a person succeed by being motivated by one idea or concept. Merely only one idea will create huge powers that we cannot even imagine. Hence, we will gain more by grasping relatively small amounts of ideas.

In conclusion, we do nothing without any fact; nonetheless, if we want to achieve something great, then merely holding facts is absolutely not enough. We need the help from ideas, concepts, and those brilliant people.