Writing Feedback / Today more people are travelling than ever before. Benefits and why? [5]

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is clear trend that an increasing number of people choose to travel their holidays. This has substantially boosted the touring industry's development. And, in turn, the benefits for individual travellers are significant. This essay will explore the reasons of this trend and the positives of traveling.

There are several persuasive reasons of more frequent travelling. Firstly, on the face of it, it is the cheaper and more convenient modern transportation that encourages us to travel more. For instance, passengers are currently able to reach further located destination within an affordable price. Secondly, globalization, especially in business, has forced mankind to interact more often. Coca Cola in United States, for instance, being multinational enterprise has to assign their regional manager to travel back and forth to Beijing. Last but not least, almost every country tends to promote touring industry, which stimulate interests in travel among tourists worldwide. This can be illustrated by the firework event on New Year Eve in Sydney that attracts thousands of audience from overseas.

Similarly, the benefits of travelling are obvious too. First and most importantly, travellers can familiar themselves with the local customs and traditions that they can hardly learn at home. Secondly, the experience they gain from foreign countries will be fruitful as long as long as appropriately applied. In addition, travelling can be perceived as a leisure activity. In today's fast-paced working environment many are facing unbearable stress, which they have to escape and travel is most effective solution.

Could some please mark this essay for me. It is an IELTS essay which I wrote and would like to know the amount of mistakes I have made.

I would really appreciate you help.
Cheers

Writing Feedback / Computer will replace teachers. Do you agree or disagree? [5]

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years the expansion of information technology has made the idea of virtual classroom much more practical. Although, the computers are extremely useful for the students, they cannot completely replace the teachers.

Undoubtedly, there are a number of positive aspects to the virtualization of classrooms. One such aspect is how the computers generally make it quick and easy to acquire a particular piece of information. For example, a teacher looking for specific section from a law book can take ages to find it in comparison to a laptop. Additionally, the computers are perfect and do not make mistakes whereas human beings could sometimes be impeccable. Moreover, computers deliver the same quality of education at any time of the day.

On the other hand, the presence of a teacher in a classroom is exceptionally important due to several reasons. Firstly, teachers can share their personal experiences in order to provide better understanding of a particular phenomenon. Secondly, everyone does not have the quick earning ability in all areas of study. Mathematics, for instance, is an easiest subject for some while nightmare for others. A teacher can adjust their pace according to children's capabilities. Lastly and most importantly, teachers can provide invaluable feedback and advise to their students, which play a significant role in their career development.

To sum up, I strongly believe that, even though the computers have become an essential part of education system in almost all the countries, it cannot replace the teachers. Pupils would always need a mentor to shape their career.

Could somebody please mark my essay.
I would really appreciate that.