Undergraduate / "Blue Eyes"- NYU Tisch Dramatic Essay [24]

Hi Everyone,

This is my NYU dramatic essay. Please give me advice as to whether it's good, bad, needs work, etc. NYU really wants good story telling skills so please let me know how I did on that. Any feedback, whatsoever is welcomed.

Prompt: Dramatic Story - Introduce yourself. Describe an unforgettable event in your life and how it changed your perception of yourself or the view of someone close to you. This event can be dramatic and/or comedic. The assignment should be written as a short story. Please do not write about why or what lead you to pursue a degree in film and television production. Ultimately we are looking for evidence of your potential as a visual storyteller.

FORMAT: Up to four typed, double-spaced 8.5" x 11" pages.( Save as a PDF or .doc and upload to tischfilmandtv.slideroom.com)

Blue Eyes
I closed my eyes and breathed in the salty air. After a long and humid day, I embraced the calm, summer night with comfort. A cool breeze came up from the ocean and washed across my face, leaving me with an aching to get into the water. Slowly opening my eyes, I had an odd feeling that I was being watch. I looked down the long, beckoning boardwalk seeing nothing but thongs of people bustling up and down, still giddy of the surf championships that took place earlier. I didn't see anyone taking certain notice, so I turned to Britt. "There's only tourists out right now, lets just leave". Her only acknowledgement was a slight nod, as she continued her detailed search through the crowd. I turned my head the opposite way in hopes of seeing someone to ogle at.

His deep colored, button down is what caught my eye first. This was Virginia; everyone was wearing bathing suits or tank tops. I peeked up to get a glimpse of his face when I came to realize that he was staring at us. He had these piercing, icy blue eyes, accompanying an uncanny, crooked smile that left me feeling uncomfortable as he made his way past our bench.

My eyes followed his distant frame as he started to disappear into the crowd. "Britt", I whispered, "Do you see that guy? Don't be obvious." Of course she would be completely oblivious to my warning as she whipped her head around looking for the said character. "Forget it", I rushed, "He's gone." She shrugged and resumed her familiar search. I tried to shake of my discomfort from the peculiar exchange, as I looked out to the ocean. There was a girl leaning against the railing that led to the sand, screaming. I assumed she was on the phone with her boyfriend the way she yelled obscenities and talks of infidelities. The conversation was just getting good when I saw a lurking figure out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head and looked into the eyes of a shark. There stood the same man, gawking at us with those blue eyes.

He was leisurely making his way over to the screaming girl, when he glanced back at us. "She's pissed," he laughed. We did a soft chuckle in unison and I glanced at Britt. "This is the second time he has walked by," I rushed on, "Get up. Get up!"

We walked in the same direction as him but off to the right, not yet ready to turn our backs on the unknown man. He must have seen us get up, because he was in front of us but somehow did a U-turn of sorts, ending up behind us, off to the left. My mind started filling with ideas of murderous sex offenders and drama filled Lifetime movies. Lost in my thoughts, I veered off to the right, trying in a weak attempt to escape any collision that may have occurred. Unfortunately, Britt wasn't so lucky and walked right into his eager clutches.

My heart began to flutter a little and I just wanted to grab her wrist and run for the hills. Something about that bloke left me feeling uneasy and vulnerable; my gut told me not to trust him. He went head first into conversation, not leaving any room for us to make a sly getaway. "What are you girl's up to?" even though he said girls, I was certain sure he was just talking to Britt. Ready to leave, I shrugged, but Britt was the one who entertained him, "We're just walking around," she said nonchalantly. He didn't mind her cool response; he took it as invitation anyway.

"That's cool, I came from North Carolina to surf," or to kill someone I thought. I was getting such weird signals from him; I couldn't help to think of his alternate motives. I could see in the way she kept fidgeting and looking around, that Britt felt the same way. This conversation was innocence but there was an undercurrent of danger accompanying it. As I looked at him, all I could see was caution signs going off in my head. "Wer...were you in the competition?" Britt sputtered as she glanced at the paper wristband on his wrist. His eyes lit up -I could almost see the gears in his head turning- she just offered him a way in. "Yeah, I was in the competition; did you guys watch?" he beamed with a look of satisfaction. "We watched for a little while, she took pictures," she pointed to me and it was like that was the first time he saw me there as his watchful eyes took an inventory of me. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead and a taste of bile produced in my mouth. When he got to my face, I tried to hold his scrutiny; I didn't want to be seen as a threat. After his detailed examination, he diverted his gaze back to Britt, as she played with the septum ring that came out of her nose. He watched her twirl it a few more times before he said anything. "That's hot", he praised. Immediately dropping her hand, she looked at the ground as if it were the most interesting thing.

"Well, I'm going to the bar to get a few drinks then back to my room; if you guys wanna join." He waited for an okay to go on. "Sure", Britt reluctantly agreed. I found my voice and spoke up, "We have to run to the car so I can get my Insulin." It was the quickest lie I could think of and remembered to later thank my friend Taylor for explaining her diabetes. He flashed his eerie, crooked smile and started to describe his room. "Alright, cool! Once you get it, come over. I'm staying at that hotel down there, I forgot the name but it's white and it's kind of old looking, in a nice way. I'm in `room number 221. There's a caribou on the door, you know what that looks like right?" We casually nodded, and he continued. "I'm gonna be in the bar right next door, I'll probably be there for about an hour. So, if you guys don't want to drink you can just come to my room after. I'm not crazy, no weird stuff; just come to my room."

Without hesitation, we agreed and quickly walked away, trying to get lost in the recent surge of people. Gently turning around, I looked for him but it was as if he disappeared.

We rushed to the car, looking over out shoulders every few seconds. My mind wouldn't drift from the recent reality check. "Britt, that just happened. He would have killed us." She didn't responded so I glanced over and saw the mask of fear that was stuck on her face. She was all too familiar to the certainty of my statement.

I felt as if I entered an alternate universe where they're really are bad people out there. I always knew that there were but I was naive to that fact and always felt like nothing like that could ever happen in my world because it wasn't a mystery movie or horror film, it was real life and it just got too real.

Undergraduate / 'My eyes / Film and ASL / Music and pictures' - NYU supplement [5]

These are my supplement essays for NYU. Please overlook them and tell me if I should change anything.

What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

I could hear the howl of the wind as I sat on the wood plank, letting the cool breeze fill my lungs and take over my senses. The sounds of the trees singing in harmony left me in sheer amazement. My eyes never seemed too strong, but looking up at the blackness of the immense sky, I could see all the constellations talked about in story books. Their outlines, which always seemed foreign to me, appeared visible for the first time in my life. A calm feeling washed over me as I took in the night sky. In the distance I could hear the waves, lash against the weak sand in a strong protest to the pull of the moon. And if I listened hard enough, a current of air would carry the sound of the wild Corolla horses galloping on the beach in the night, enjoying their freedom. That night sky became my happy place over the years and each time life got hard, I would reminisce about that beautiful night sky accompanied with a feeling of serenity.

Why NYU?
Google pulled up another list of colleges, has I reached my second hour of searching. Annoyed wasn't the word I was looking for, more like irritated. Out of the ten schools I looked at, they all seemed the same. Ready to quit, I searched the screen for the red "X" that I grew accustom to over the last few hours. As the mouse moved up the screen, a purple torch caught my eye. "New York University..." I thought, the third best vegan college in the whole country. I clicked on the link and was brought to the homepage where purple overtook the screen, I was intrigued already. I hunted for the "Student Life" tab; the page was overloaded with diversity and I started to get giddy with excitement, "Could this really be my school?" With my fingers crossed, I typed in American Sign Language. Something came up, and I clicked on it with such eagerness, I almost missed it. At last, a course list. "They really have it", I squealed. That was when I knew I had to apply. None of the other colleges even recognized ASL as a language, nonetheless had a minor in it. ASL holds a special place in my heart and I always want to be a part of that community. Two of my true loves are in a common place,film and ASL, while veganism and diversity is the norm; NYU is my school.

Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.

Growing up without cable left a lasting impact on my affection for films. I never really understood the context of most of what I was watching, but honestly, that's not why I watched it. Movies have always been beautiful to me; just the simple creation of it all. I was one of those kids that would constantly rewind the VCR just so I could see the portrayal of the scene through the actor's eyes, and the replay it again to see it through the director's eyes. But above all, the storyline has become my favorite part. An amazing storyline could either make or break a movie and I grew to understand that with my growing admiration for independent films. There is something so pure and humble about indie films that just makes me want to be apart of that elite group of filmmakers. Pursing a degree at New York University's Tisch School of the Arts would be like coming home from a long trip. I know it's were I belong because it's about making movies there and not about all the fancy effects and CGI you can do; just the simplicity and loveliness of an amazing story portrayed by music and pictures on a screen. There's no other school in the world that could understand that importance like Tisch.

Any feedback is appreciated, this is due today so please help me out!