Undergraduate / 'milestone in our life' - Babson Supplement, a letter to your first-year roommate [4]

Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college:

Dear Roommate,

We finally made it. We reached a milestone in our life, and it will begin here at Babson College. After four years of endless hard work at school, we can take a deep breath of fresh air. Choosing Babson as my top choice was not hard. It was a college that spoke for it self the minute I began my college search. I ultimately found Babson in the huge book of colleges. It was amazing reading it on paper, but seeing it in person was even more exhilarating. When I visited Babson College for my interview, I knew this was the right place for me. I just sensed it was my home far away from home. I loved walking through the endless fall leaves on the ground, watching students laugh with one another, and seeing them get to class with their books in one hand and their coffee in another. I imagined myself as one of these students, and my inside gut told me that this is where my future will begin. I just want you to know that I am not perfect in any way, shape or form. I may not be president of any clubs or be in the top five percent of my class, but it is no doubt to me or the people who know me that the scholarly pursuit of an education is what I am meant to do. I am looking forward to growing as person, and learning from both the positive and negative experiences that I will encounter. I feel that the Babson was the college made for me and I believe that they will help me transform my goals into reality. I am prepared to begin this journey with you, and we both will need each other's moral support. Life will me won't be difficult.

For many college students, living with a roommate in a dorm room or an apartment is one of the most difficult experiences they encounter. After all, sharing space with a friend or stranger is a new experience for most students. Nonetheless, you will not have to worry about living with me. I am everything that a roommate could ask for. Living with me will be a great adventure, and I promise you that it will be nothing but a fun, supportive, and healthy experience. This will be one of the greatest moments in our lives as we will enter a new chapter at Babson. Over the course of four years, I will always be there for you. The transition towards an independent future will be hard for us, but as we will develop our relationship I will always have your back from the beginning. I will become your rock that you can constantly lean on for any reason. I have always been an approachable person, and anything you say or do I will come to your aid if need be. I am very social, so you won't have to come into a lonely quiet room, or fall asleep at night with something on your mind. Instead, you will open the door and find me excited to see you and the one who will end up knowing you inside and out. Just think of this experience as if we are young children first learning how to ride our bikes without training wheels. We will fall down and get back on, but help push you and you will help push me to get one another started on our paths towards success. I am eagerly anticipating the moment I will walk in the room and will meet you. I hope that over these four years that our acquaintance as roommates will blossom into a friendship of longevity.

This is my rough draft, please help me in any way to make it excellent.

Undergraduate / COMMON APP ESSAY- PERSONAL STATEMENT: Lebanon country [3]

I think its too long can anyone help me make it shorter?

As I was sitting on the balcony of my grandparent's home overlooking the serene Mediterranean Sea, hearing the jubilant hustle and bustle of people and cars, smelling the fresh crisp air, and feeling the humidity turn my skin into a scorching pan- I let out a sigh of relief. It was a sign that something felt right; I was in the right place. This country so happens to be my homeland. It is the place that changed my life. It is Lebanon.

This is the place where I can always come and be among people like me. This is something that I could never relate to while growing up. I was always the odd kid out. I would always see many kids grouped together by ethnicity, and they would have a lot in common. I never found anyone who was Arab or Lebanese at neither of my schools. It had to adjust and try to blend with others, so I could fit in. As I grew older, I felt lost. The trip I took four years ago made me put things into perspective.

One day, in the busy streets of Beirut, I noticed that the streets were so narrow that barely one car could fit. Then there were so many people on the sidewalks, not to mention the cars that were parked on not beside the sidewalks, which people had to walk in the streets. Everything in this city of four million people is built up to the sky, so seeing the sun is impossible. This made visibility quite difficult. Beirut drivers use their horns like we use turn signals. It's a special form of communication. Of course when you're driving down incredibly narrow streets with hairpin turns, no traffic lights, and few stop signs and pedestrians walking in the street, I guess your horn is a form of self- and other-preservation. It certainly was quite an adventure. An adventure I not only took in stride, but I seemed to relish.

Churches and mosques were everywhere, evidence of Lebanon's long history of religious tolerance and diversity. Soon we were in the true "high rent" district of Beirut. There were elegant apartments and fancy hotels. There I could see American tourists standing outside. There are restaurants, shops, and all the things wealthy people seem to favor. This was when I felt so deeply grateful that I wasn't a tourist in Beirut. If this was all I saw of the city, I would have no idea who really lived here and what their lives were like. This was the first time that I really did feel that I was living my life as a true Lebanese. I was not an outsider. I just knew that I fit in with the people who surrounded me.

I rarely go to visit Lebanon, having only been there twice in my lifetime. My trip four years ago made me realize to embrace who I am, and not to hide in the background. Subsequently, my trip has made me eager to take what I have become and transform people's minds to instill a positive perception of Arabs and Muslims throughout our world. The catalyst that caused me to be on a mission were the things I heard over the years: "Isn't Lebanon where terrorists live? Doesn't everyone where headscarves? Does everyone ride camels because it's in the desert?" First, Lebanon is not a hiding place for terrorists. Second, Lebanon is one of the most secular countries in the Middle East where both Muslims and Christians live together. Third, Lebanon is the only country in the Middle East that has no desert; therefore, there aren't any camels. It tears me up inside to have to defend my country and ethnicity to people who feel that the propaganda they hear is true. Ever since my trip, I always tell everyone all the facts before they even say a word. I feel it saves them the trouble to embarrass themselves, and it makes me feel better to know that I taught someone something new.

Tolerance is something lacking in people these days, but there is still hope. I can contribute to that hope because I find it crucial in our time period to open people's eyes to how we are all alike. I want to make a difference during my college education. I am looking forward to entering college in order to get involved with changing how people view the Arab race. It's the best setting for me where I can reach people from all walks of life, and they will leave with knowing what I have taught them. Reaching out to my culture is done from my heart and it will always be a struggle to educate those who are ignorant. Nonetheless, I will strive to achieve one of my lifelong goals.

Lebanon is a unique country in every aspect. Despite all the problems in my native country - I still love it. I'm not the only one. Regardless of the wars, corruption, scandalous politicians, and awkward political parties, many Lebanese, both at home and abroad, are still attached to this small piece of land. The diversity in Lebanon tops everything I love about this country. Yes, we are extremely liberal and open people. Yes, we are also extremely hospitable and educated. But most of all we have a sense of pride in whom we are, which is what I found and remember most during my trip and hope to instill in others.

Undergraduate / Univ of Virginia Supplement- a piece of artwork that has suprised me [2]

There have been art work of famous artists that always surprise me, but I was surprised by one unexpectedly. It happens to be my painting.

I took painting as a requirement, but I then chose to take it as an elective in my junior year. My first painting that year was of my trip to Palm Springs. It was a difficult scene to convey on my blank canvas that kept staring at me. I knew I had to start somewhere, so I randomly placed color everywhere. I was using my photograph that I took of the scene as a reference, but my teacher told me to paint. I was lost because I was doing just that. He explained that I cannot rely on a photograph to help me. I must use my senses to help me feel what I paint. I stopped and thought for a minute. I tried what he said, and I suddenly let go. It was an amazing experience. I felt as if I was trapped in a tank and was going to suffocate any minute. The minute I closed my eyes and placed my brushed onto the mess I made earlier, I finally began to place myself back in the blistering sun and desiccated air with the swaying palm trees swaying high above. My hands began to do all the work as I was envisioning within my head. Suddenly, I stopped and was awe of what I had created.

I loved looking at the surfaces of my painting, which revealed "the hand of the artist." There were visible brushstrokes and little mounds of dried paint. It was unlike the perfect museum-mounted products under glass that I see of famous artists. The painting came out very realistic that my teacher applauded me for my new found talent. He said I improved over the summer, but I have to trust myself more. I knew he was right because I constantly underestimate myself because I fear the unknown. Whenever I need to make an important decision or do anything crucial, I constantly do what I believe is right. I just close my eyes and go back to standing in sunny Palm Springs. It helps me realize that I should listen to my heart and do what it tells me. Ultimately, that painting holds significance in my life because it has helped shape me to become an open person no longer living behind the closed doors of my mind.

Undergraduate / Bentley College- Why do you want to attend this school? [5]

Bentley University is the epitome of a perfect college for me. By applying to Bentley, I will receive an unsurpassed education. Knowing that the faculty works hard to make their students achieve. Bentley's intensive classes will challenge me to prove my highest intellectual, professional and personal expectations. The college will help me develop myself into a female that can make a difference around the world. Diversity, honesty and an ingenious education system are qualities that I look for when I am applying to college- Bentley is one of them.

The best thing about Bentley is its size. It is big enough to have a lot of fun at, yet small enough to get very individual attention, have small classes, and can provide resources for all of its students. Bentley's focus on technology sets it apart from its competitors. Students enjoy cutting-edge facilities, including an interactive trading floor that serves both as a classroom and as preparation for the real business world. They have all of the financial software and tools used at top financial institutions across the globe. There is something that I find unique and at no other school than Bentley- they have several connections. Networking's a must, and their students can almost always find a job/internship, even freshmen.

I want my family to hold their heads up high as I will become the first in the family to attend college. Thus, I want to fulfill my dreams and build my academic success. One way in which I can achieve this goal is by attending Bentley University. The faculty and the students of this great institution have the ability to teach and mentor me into achieving success. My ambition and perseverance were the two main qualities that led me to apply to Bentley. With Bentley being among one of the top business schools in the nation, I know, if given the opportunity to attend, I will reach my goal of becoming a successful student.