flor2012
Jun 5, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'leading enviable lives to have a deeper education' [4]
Some people consider it is a necessity for those who desire to lead enviable lives to have a deeper education in universities while others arrive a consensus that it is not essential to get a college diploma.
-You can re-phrase it. For example: While some people consider necessarily to study at university to lead enviable lives, some others arrive a consensus that it is not essential to get a college diploma.
Throughout most of the 20th century, those who manage to finish primary or junior high school acquired sufficient skills and knowledge to handle most basic tasks and address working problems on a daily basis, when most large companies equipped their employees with fundamental skills through their own internal training and development programs.
too long! maybe you can chunk it
As a result, it is not uncommon to see employees enjoy successful careers, working in the same companies throughout their entire lives.
However, the world undergoes a transformation, which put an end to those traditions.
in other wordsm the same idea: However, a world transformation put an end to those tranditions.
Some people consider it is a necessity for those who desire to lead enviable lives to have a deeper education in universities while others arrive a consensus that it is not essential to get a college diploma.
-You can re-phrase it. For example: While some people consider necessarily to study at university to lead enviable lives, some others arrive a consensus that it is not essential to get a college diploma.
Throughout most of the 20th century, those who manage to finish primary or junior high school acquired sufficient skills and knowledge to handle most basic tasks and address working problems on a daily basis, when most large companies equipped their employees with fundamental skills through their own internal training and development programs.
too long! maybe you can chunk it
As a result, it is not uncommon to see employees enjoy successful careers, working in the same companies throughout their entire lives.
However, the world undergoes a transformation, which put an end to those traditions.
in other wordsm the same idea: However, a world transformation put an end to those tranditions.