Undergraduate / "Will you be my guest for prom?" - Spelman College [2]

Spelman Admissions Essay
Seeking knowledge and commitment to service are integral parts of the Spelman experience. Discuss and illustrate ways you have shown your commitment in these areas.

So this is my first paragraph, but i don't know where to go after that. Some editing and suggestions would help also. THANKS (:

"Will you be my guest for prom?" a freshman girl asked. I was confused. I didn't know her, she just entered high school, there's no way she could go to prom. As we sat and talked she explained that it was a prom for kids diagnosed with cancer. She was diagnosed with brain cancer when she was only six years old. Even though I didn't know her, I took on the opportunity. I didn't know much about childhood cancer, so I took the time to do some research. It amazed me to realize how many children were affected by it and I wanted to be involved and know more.

Undergraduate / 'DETERMINED TO BE SOMEBODY' - Howard University Admission Essay [4]

Howard University is interested in you as a person, as well as how you think and express your thoughts. TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE (500 WORDS)

"I'M DETERMINED TO BE SOMEBODY, SOMEDAY." The words of Herbert W. Brewster have been embedded in me for a while now. I would like to achieve more for myself, and I believe furthering my education is what it will take. I want the opportunity to prove that I have what it takes to make it out of my community successful. The conditions and circumstances of the education in my neighborhood make it appear that I don't have a chance. In my community, the odds are often against those few teens of color, that are trying so hard to make it out. By accomplishing my goals to further my education in order to to drop the stereotypical views of my community will assist me in becoming someone, someday.

To me, success comes from determination, and determination comes from self-belief. I have often felt that there are only a few people who wants me to succeed, others have bashed me, and spoke down on my accomplishments and goals. From that, I learned that in order for me to be successful, I have no choice but to believe in myself, regardless of the setbacks and negative conditions around me. I am determined to reach my goals of being successful, not to prove people wrong, but to prove to myself that I have what it takes to be someone.