Graduate / 'Helping the victims' - An excerpt from my Statement of Purpose [3]

These are two paragraphs from my SOP.I want to connect them and also make them as brief as possible because this does not sound like professional.Please remove any unnecessary information as well as connect these paragraphs so that I merge these and they become single paragraph cohesively.Any comments or suggestions will also be appreciated

My Extra-curricular activities

My interest in travelling stems from a very young age. Travelling, for me, is a means of exploring various parts and diverse cultures of my own country and other countries, as well. I even got to explore a lot about myself and my personal traits in this process. In Pakistan, travelling is not so common; only a few people prefer travelling. However, I believe that, by travelling, we get to explore many things within and around us. It also helps in making an individual all-rounder and well-educated. This time, I, therefore, joined my university class fellows for a one month official tour across several areas of Pakistan. We visited various cities throughout Pakistan and got to explore their diverse cultures. These visits induced in me important traits, like adaptability and self-reliance, which I could not learn elsewhere. I was also exposed to diverse cultures, mindsets, lifestyles, and even temperatures. In the due process, I realized that in order to survive and lead a satisfactory life, one must necessarily learn to get adapted to new and diverse cultures around them. Even though, it required some effort initially, however, now I have successfully acquired this skill - thanks to my interest in travelling.

I have always believed that a successful person is not only measured by their academic achievements but also by their character,because it is the foundation for life. I believe that any responsible human being should always lend a helping hand. I truly enjoy volunteering and doing charity work and I wanted to share my experiences with others. This is what prompted me to start teaching the junior students in my class. Through this I ended up becoming one of the organizers for the group who volunteered in helping after the terrible floods in my beloved province in 2011.My responsibilities included raising money for the victims, buying supplies and lending a helping hand whenever needed. The team and I provided the victims with tents, food, blankets, and much more. My experiences running these activities have not only improved my lateral thinking, but have also helped me develop necessary management and communication skills, which are a must-have in today's world with such diversity in the workplace

Letters / 'strong desire and keen interest to learn' - letter of recommendation (engineering) [3]

This is my letter of recommendation.Please edit it and remove mistakes(if any) and also provide feedback too.

"It is great privilege that I am writing to you in recommendation of Mr. xxxx.

As an Associate Professor in Department of xx Engineering at xx University, I deal with many students having considerable knowledge of field. Each year I observed that only a few outstanding students having a unique perspective really embrace their learning of subjects. Mr. xx has consistently shown such a strong desire and keen interest to learn.

Teaching Mr. xx in three different subjects of his 3rd year and final year of under-graduation which are "DSP, Basic Electronics", I found him attentive, perceptive and hard working. As a course teacher I perceived him having outstanding overall intellectual and analytical ability. In addition to doing uniformly excellent work on the exams and assignments, he was an active participant in the class discussions and quizzes. And made intelligent and insightful contributions during full-class discussions. He continues to impress me with his knowledge, skills and dedication to his work. He has been one of our most dedicated students.

I can assure that he is exceptionally creative and capable of developing alternative solutions to the renowned problems. Compared to the class average of 130 students, Mr. xx performed exceptionally well and remained in top 5 of total strength.

In addition, xx has also worked voluntarily for the campus monthly newsletter under my supervision. I have found him to be easily adjustable, pleasant and charitable person always looking forward to take on a challenging task. He is glorious at interpersonal skills. Xx has an art to manage and organize time and schedule around different extra-curricular activities without having them interfere with studies.

I have enjoyed seeing his enthusiasm in an undergraduate level about a professional career and potential to contribute in his field of electronics engineering. His throughout achievements from early education, commitment to the studies and hard work in pursuing his goals will surely serve him more than best in your graduation program.I strongly recommend that you consider Mr. xx's application, as he will be a great asset to your program. Please feel free to contact me if anything I can do for him."

Graduate / 'An addition to your student body' - Statement of Purpose 500 words [3]

Please give feedback also correct errors(if any)

As a high-performing graduate with a major in telecommunications technology, I am committed to being at the forefront of this transformative industry. A master's degree in the field of telecommunications engineering is my next goal, and, given the global nature of this industry, I wish to further my studies in Canada. I believe studying away from Pakistan, my home country, will prepare me well for this global industry.

I recently completed my bachelor's degree with a major in telecommunications engineering from xx University; I consistently achieved grades that placed me in the top 5% of my class, and I received the Departmental Merit Scholarships on three occasions. In courses such as DSP and ADC, I developed the perfect grounding for advanced levels of the academy. In addition, under the guidance of xxx, senior lecturer of our department, I led a six-member research team, which proposed a method to mitigate interference in ad-hoc networks in final year for partial fulfillment of degree requirements. We successfully completed the research project and defended it before a committee of 5 professors and received valuable comments and criticism. The practical perspective I gained from such projects have developed my research expertise and prepared me well for postgraduate study and research.

In addition to my academic work, I participated in extra-curricular activities. Last year, I led a group of university students helping flood victims in Pakistan. We worked with a team from NGO Sindh Agricultural and Forestry Workers Coordinating Organization (SAFWCO). I raised money for the victims, bought supplies, and distributed tents, food, blankets and other essentials. This experience, which demonstrates my communication and leadership skills, has given me a newfound appreciation of the importance of service and helping those in need. In addition, throughout my four-year degree course, I voluntarily tutored junior students in courses relevant to my area of study. This not only illustrates my dedication to my field but also my willingness to communicate, network and liaise with colleagues and to support other students in their endeavors. As these experiences show, I am highly motivated and proactive at learning new skills and experiencing new things. This is precisely why I have decided to continue challenging myself by studying for a master's degree in Canada.

The xx's Telecommunications Engineering program fits well with my skills and aspirations, and the interdisciplinary nature of the program is especially attractive. In particular, I want to integrate the business and regulatory aspects of telecommunications into my engineering studies so that I can develop a broad appreciation for the challenges faced by the telecommunications industry. The program's hands-on focus and business connections are vitally important to me.

In exchange, I believe I can be a valuable addition to your student body. I will continue to demonstrate academic excellence, a commitment to mastering new skills, and a dedication to international citizenship. Finally, I believe my international perspective and experience will add to your program.

Earning a Master's Degree from xx would be an honor for me and a means for a career that would be enriching and rewarding on many levels.

Thank you for your consideration.