Undergraduate / Common App Short -- first job [5]

Here is my common app short essay about my first job. Right now, it's at about 168 words. I would truly appreciate any feedback. (:

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
It was mid-July, the sun was scorching and "SPF" was the talk of the day. It was one of the hottest days of the summer and I was indoors wishing my light blouse was a wool coat. If I had to change something about my first job, it would be the thermostat. As an intern in Human Resources at Goodwill of Silicon Valley my tasks included screening job applicants, organizing pay checks, making copies, as well as greeting guests or receiving telephone calls when I served as the front desk receptionist. Through my work with Goodwill I was exposed with what goes on behind the scenes in an industry. While constant work kept me somewhat warm in that glacier of an office building, I enjoyed the effort I put into my job. For the first time in my life, I experienced working for myself. Thus the feeling of accomplishment this lent me at the end of the day combined with stepping out of the office was pure bliss.

Undergraduate / 'A friend and a competitor' - Common App Essay -- Influential Person [2]

This essay is on one of my best friends. I am not quite sure how it sounds or if it needs a more appropriate conclusion. Any feedback would be great. Thanks!

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

With three minutes left in fourth period, his right hand began to creep up again. He had yet another question. "Not again...?" I thought. While questions are usually encouraged in the classroom, I found it quite unnecessary for this particular student to interrupt the day's lesson every five minutes. It was the first week of high school, and the seating chart was alphabetical by last name. I had the pleasure of sitting directly behind Jonathan, the "inquis kid" who had his arm hanging limp in the air for more than half the period. My first impression of him was not solely based upon the fact that he came to school in a Boy Scouts' uniform or that said uniform was two sizes too small. What struck me was the fact that I hardly knew him, yet he already posed as a threat or a sort of academic rival. Anyone could tell he was smart. He showed off by formulating questions to confirm the answers he already knew. Jonathan was the type of student I usually avoided. Had anyone told me this annoying guy from fourth period would be my best friend three years down the line, I would have never believed them.

My new school introduced me to new students, a new community, and a completely new culture. Like the average teenager's, my transition from middle to high school was not the easiest period of my life. Simply moving on to high school was one factor, and while it was hard for me to juggle this, I had to deal with the other factor of moving to an estranged part of the city. My friendship with Jonathan did not cultivate until the fall of our junior year when our course selection inevitably brought us together again. On the first day of school that year, the first question Jonathan posed for the day was directed towards me, "Hey! You're in this class?" My books and writing materials had been laid out on my desk. My schedule was facing up and I had a writing utensil in my hand. "Yes", I replied politely giving him the satisfaction to the obvious question he sought.

Jonathan knew I was one of the six other students in the running for valedictorian and I assumed his intentions were to scope out his competition. The situation certainly appeared as though it was not the case, for he was genuinely interested in getting to know me as a person beyond all academic impressions. Before I knew it we were fully immersed in a conversation that carried on until break. In a short time, I learned his drive was identical to mine and his interests were not too far off either. I never wanted to get to know him in the first place yet before long, his Boy Scout values were beginning to rub off on me while my spontaneous tendencies were rubbing off on him. For once in this new school, I had someone who served as a friend to hangout with on weekends and also as an individual to compete with in the classroom. Our friendship is unlike most others, and I value it more than any friendship I have since developed in high school. Through him, I have learned not to judge others before I know them and to value the diversity of opinions in the classroom. Aside from growing six inches vertically he has not changed much over the past years. He's still the same guy that I never knew beforeïthe same guy who I never tried to know before. I am a more focused and conscientious student today because of him.