Writing Feedback / IELTS- Should government intervene with individual's family planning rights? [5]

Governments Should Arrange Family Planning Methods

The world's population grow stupendously and has resulted to many negative effects. This has awaken the government to act in mitigating this problem. In my opinion, the government has every right in addressing this problem through family planning. When family planning becomes effective, this will render many benefits to both the government and families.

Developing countries face the problem of burgeoning population. Because of uncontrolled child birth, poor families added more mouths to feed and many needs to meet. Most head of the families are not well compensated and other members of the family are unemployed. This problem results to theft, crime, death from hunger, strife, and illegal prostitution. With these, the government has to assume a staunch role in controlling the root problem which is overpopulation.

If a countries' virtues and religious belief would allow, family planning can be an effective tool in controlling childbirth specially in poor communities. For instance, in the Philippines, many government officials has given funds for family planning campaigns. Moreover, contraceptives and other family planning educational materials are provided in many communities. Because of this access, many parents gain information　about the positive effects of child birth pacing and different birth control methods. Evidently, government's　allotted budget and campaigns for family planning help many families.

Indeed, government has a right to intervene in enriching and empowering the most important sector in the community which is the family. If every family work hand in hand with the government's family planning methods, the government will be able to control the problem of overpopulation.

This is my first time to post an essay in this forum, hope I can get correction feedback.I took my IELTS last august 4 and only got 6.5 in writing, I need to retake to get 7 in all bands . thank you so much.

Writing Feedback / IELTS- balanced argument regarding the effects of technology [6]

please comment on my essay for corrections...I will really appreciate your help, thanks.

Powerful Technology for Now and the Future

21st century has brought many advances which includes breakthroughs in innovation technology. Truly, many people throughout the world enjoy the benefits of technology.However, other people think that along with the innovation's positive effects come more setbacks. In my opinion, technology's advantages outweigh its negative effects, as will now be explained.

Because of technology, life becomes easy and convenient. However, these innovations result in many disadvantages. For instance, manpower lay-offs happen because many factories and big companies replace workforce with machines. Moreover, some people lack exercise and become lazy because they tend to leave their routine tasks to machines. In addition, many criminals and terrorist are using technology, like cellular phones, internet and many other devices for their tactics.

On the other hand, technology has numerous benefits. Recent advances in medicines save many people's lives through new machines that can easily diagnose illnesses and medicines that cure many diseases. Furthermore, mass production of different products from big industries become faster, more efficient and cost-effective. Although some companies' usage of machines replace manpower, there are still more opportunities that keep on opening in other areas of employment. For instance, because of the modernization brought by technology more manpower are needed in information technology, gadget companies and machine operations.

In conclusion, in spite of the fact that new innovations bring some disadvantages, there are more manifold benefits that technology contributes in many aspects of people's lives. Because of its benefits, I strongly believe that technology will evolve to be more sophisticated, powerful and useful in the future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS- latest topic from this month's exam: Internet replacing books [4]

Nowadays for many people the Internet is replacing regular books. What do you think will happen in the future and what is your opinion about this trend?

No Need For Book Stores?

This era has made people rely on the internet heavily in obtaining information. It seems that many individuals have lost their interest in using books as their main reference because the web has many features to offer. Nevertheless, I believe that there will be still some individuals who will regard books as very important source of data in the future.

Internet has become ubiquitous and essential in many aspects of people's lives because it offers many features. Evidently, the net plays a big role in many individuals, may it be in schools, offices or at home. For instance, generally, students first rush to internet cafes instead of going to libraries to do research. Majority of the students prefer searching the web because it is faster and offers latest news and ideas. Moreover, compare to carrying heavy books, many people find it comfortable to bring small gadgets with internet access.

Nevertheless, many bookstores are still productive with their sales because some individuals find books to be important. For example, many best seller book authors choose not to put all information on the web for their books to profit. Moreover, some people love to collect their favorite series of books which they can read over and over again while others prefer giving self-help books as presents. There are also many history books that gives concrete and more accurate information, especially if the authors are reliable. In addition, unlike books, with technical problems,web information that are saved in computers can be erased and not retrieved.

To conclude, the trend of using the internet more than books has become popular nowadays; however, I strongly believe that books will not completely vanish in the future. Many people will still prefer using printed data because it offers complete, accurate and reliable information.