Undergraduate / DREXEL VIP application essay- Why I want to major in 'Still Deciding' science [4]

Hi so I believe you need to go through this essay again and do a general check of your grammar. For example, you should not use contractions because it makes the essay lack in formality, even though your going for an informal approach, you should still consider changing those contractions. Also, you shouldn't start a sentence with "But", and you should change the structure of the sent. that includes you moving to Dubai, like you should say: "Then I moved to Dubai where I lived for 6 years and also attended my first 2 years of high school" or something like that. Following this sentence, "grow up from childhood" seems to be awkward and if you were to keep it you should change grow to grew. The sentence that starts with I, however, had no clue..., you should say " I knew what my favorite subject was, mathematics", because you only listed one it should be singular. Change : "that could help me decided on the major" to "that could help me decide on the major" . "With wanted I wanted to major in" instead change it to this <<<. and it should be "while missing out on an interesting sociology one course"

Otherwise, I think you went in the right way with writing this essay, it seems personal and I think that admissions committee would like it. Just one last concern and I'll let you be. I feel like you could make the essay a little more creative, whether it be using colorful language or adding more information on your feelings about the topic.

Writing Feedback / Fictional or Historical Character Essay: Selfless Selfishness [2]

Hi, so I believe you have a pretty good essay going on here. However, I don't get the phrase " The life of a person, so different from what I am,..." Is The life of a person supposed to be the title of the documentary, if so it would make sense then but you would need to put that into quotes or something. If it was not the title, i think you should take some time explaining that part if you meant you were not like the average person. Change hesitating to without hesitation. make the period before especially into a comma. After you said I wanted to quit you should say tat you didn't, you prospered, because you just jump to the next paragraph without saying that. Also, your last sentence is awkwardly phrased. I think its a very good example for this prompt though, so i wish you well and hope that this has helped. :)

Poetry / "I Am" poem help [10]

I see the person i can aspire to be
I feel as if the world stops for me sometimes
I need to feel like im needed
I believe that i can survive

(hope these helped :))

Undergraduate / Diversity Achievers Program Essay ( Lehigh University) [2]

I think you have a great essay here! Im not sure how to limit your word choice, sorry lol but here are some suggestions on word phrasing. Change to these ..." to the enormous or to an enormous" "they all looked at us and said with" "they all were so happy and jumped right in" "and happy to be there" Also, you should recheck your tenses, you switch between past and present. Good luck with everything!

Undergraduate / DREXEL VIP application essay- Why I want to major in 'Still Deciding' science [4]

Hi sorry i cant help you with that unfortunately because im not really familiar enough with cambridge itself, you could also ask then directly though. Good luck with everything!

Dissertations / Doctoral research topic on knowledge management and sustainable competitive advantage [4]

Well i just wanted to start out by saying I'm a high school senior, so my thoughts aren't as advanced. Anyways I think that it could be a good topic to do research on. Personal knowledge is always helpful in one proceeding forward in life. Many use this to get ahead because the more you know the further ahead you are as compared to your competition. You know your weaknesses and you know your strenghts, all that is left is to figure out a way to control that knowledge and use it to your benefit. This is where the management part and research come about. Im not sure how one would go from there but about the oraganizational management, it would be goOd to study in order to show that people with good organizational skills are ready for unexpected occurences because they do not feel overwhelmed as much. So the challenge in this is the human factor as we are hard to get solid information out of, but if you find some great research then props to you. The benefit would be that you could learn more about how the human mind works which will only lead us further into discovering its complex form. So anyways I hopebthis helped at least somewhat and I wish you good luck with everything.