Writing Feedback / 'free entrance to museums and art galleries' -revise my IELTS writing task 2 [6]

Should arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge apply for admittance?

Discuss this issue, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

In my country, there are several museums and art galleries in the world. The majority of them are free for local people, but collect ticket prices for tourists. However, some museums are not available for general public because the cost of maintenance is higher than the owner could afford it. As the result they have to close the museums. For that reason most of art entertainments should be charge for everybody in many reasons.

First of all, the majority of historical paintings are required specific specialists to maintain. It is essential that museum's owners have to hire experts to protect their belongings, so they need to pay a great deal of salary for them. Thus, they have to earn amount of money by selling entrance tickets and souvenir. Although many museums in developed countries have financial support from the government, most of them still need donation. It is often to see that every museum has a donation box near a gift shop.

On the other hand, some people might argue that free entrance to museums and art galleries provides many advantages including education, economy, and tourism. If everyone can get in museums for free, many people are willing to learn culture and history from other countries, so they tend to improve their knowledge. Therefore, learning helps people to understand and accept differences from others and reduces conflict in their society. In addition, free entrance is attractive advertisement to draw many tourists come to travel in the country. For that reason, the economy and tourism are going up.

In conclusion, arts-related entertainment should be free of charge if the exhibition has enough grant to backup. Therefore, it provides huge benefits for most people. In my opinion, it depends on museum management systems and policies of each place that organize the museum. If museums are lack of financial support, they will be closed in the end.

Writing Feedback / Crime, population, and taxpayer's role - essay [NEW]

Can you help with other essay please?
Write about the following topic:
In many cities crime is increasing.
Why do you think this happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

In many countries have been increased crime rates in recently years. Most countries are thrive to find solution by providing higher security standard and passing the laws to prevent their citizens from this criminal situation. However, it is essential that governments understand the basic requirement of their population because the main factors divest the crime is the lack of necessarily.

The majority of population in many countries are poverty and live in a poor condition. Due to the gap between the rich and the poor, the major of responsibility of citizenship is not belong to the rich. However, the majority of taxpayers are in the middle class. This is one of the reason why criminal people believe that it is unfair for them to live in this condition, so they end up with commit the crime. For example, in developing countries have higher in the crime rate than in developed countries because of equality in their society.

Another factors that criminal people commit the crime is unemployment rate. Supporters claim that if people lose their jobs for long time, they might feel invaluable and insecure which make them to become permanent depression.When people feel despair, they might do an incredible phenomenon such as committing suicide or homicide.

It is important that the government increase job opportunities and reduce the gap between citizen's financial statement in their countries. It is better to invest their budget in economy than endeavor improvements in security systems and justice because this investment will provide the benefits for their society far outweigh the security systems to solve the criminal problems in long term.