Undergraduate / 'a script for a Hollywood movie' - Texas A&M [9]

Justin,
You are well spoken and have told a wonderful story about the struggles of your father, and I am proud to say that I too can relate to this narrative. Nevertheless, you focused too much on the details around the trials and tribulations of your dad rather than how these situations directly impacted you to grow as a person. There are a lot of grammar errors in this work and I feel that you should rewrite this piece. Remember, the more you write, the better you will become. Try to substitute words like: but = however or though. Because = hence or thus or for these reasons. Avoid adjectives completely like: nasty or perky blonde, etc. I hope my input helps you, good luck!

Graduate / 'create a more scientifically advanced tomorrow' SOP for integrative biology program [2]

I was hoping if someone could help me to make my SOP better and correct it !!! please write me your suggestion

Science has always been a fascination and seemingly more of a miracle to me fromsince my childhood. From that time u till today, my most remarkable characteristics hasve been my curiosity to learn new topics. My keen interest for learning new ideas, when combined with my inner desire to reach a degree of excellence in every piece of work I perform, enabled me to acquire significant knowledge on various aspects of nature and technology, as well as leading me through a successful education.

The goal of my life is to be a part of the existing race to create a more scientifically advanced tomorrow, thus I envision graduate studies as a path towards my advancement in this direction. I am looking for a graduate program where I apply what I learn in my classes into the research I do and turn out my interests and curiosities into realities. I believe that University ... will provide this opportunity for me since it values both research and teaching. I am positive that your school offers the flexibility needed for an in-depth understanding of the vast and rapidly changing field of biological science, leading to widening the horizons of my knowledge and helping me attain a milestone in my career.

During my early ages in school, I was introduced to 'biology 'andhowit's related to all aspect of our life. From then, I became fascinated about biology and their principles. As a result of this excitement, I took part in a discussion group (biology Club) of senior high school students and schoolteachers who motivated me to select biological science as my career. Personal satisfaction also plays a key role in my career decision. I enjoy acquiring new skills and information, which help me adapt to the fast-changing world.

In the last year of high school, I was strongly confident in following my interests in the general biology field, which has a better reputation and covers a vast range of topics. To accomplish this goal of mine, I had to qualify in the national entrance exam for universities, where more 900,000 students participate. My motivations helped me study very hard for this difficult competition such that I was among the first 5% and were accepted to the General Biology program at Qods branch of Azad University.

During my undergraduate studies at university I was studied hard both to be able to pursue my graduate studies abroad and to reveal more mysteriouses in my mind. Due to my keen interest in biology, Little by little I beca me more connected with my professors. My genetic professor ( Dr.Mirzahmady) chose me as his T.A during class time to practice Mendelian Genetics with other students, and my physiology Prof ( Dr.Rjabi) asked me to translate two season of Guyton for preparing the next-semester course book under his supervision . Also, Dr.Soleimany, the Dean of science department, asked me to join the biotechnology club to publish an internal biology magazine for the first time in the Universityies history . I did take advantage of these opportunities for more satisfaction and to becomeing more and more familiar with group projects in the academic atmosphere. At the end I graduated with a total average of 17.96. I was also awarded an acclaim from the science department as a top 5 students .

As time went on and I became more and more connected with my favorite field of molecular biology, and I realized that I am interested in the areas of working with DNA. Besides the theoretical background I achieved, I also sought practical knowledge in Molecular biology through various project works. After I finished my third year, I started thinking of how this field is applicable to the real world. Thus, I decided to direct my learning approach towards practical subjects, and I chose to work as project assistant in the biotechnology department, University of Tehran. Itwhich is thea most outstanding biotechnology laboratory and under the supervision of Dr. Elahe Elahi, who helped me significantly strengthen my practical points of view towards the real world. I served as an assistant for a DNA Barcoding project which has been started in Iran for the first time by our group.These experiences were invaluable for me since I learned the serviceability and functionality of various real world applications. There, I grasped the application of molecular biology in various sections. Working in such an outstanding places broadened my vision of biology. This experience even made me more enthusiastic and motivated about pursuing my graduate studies in molecular biology. During our project, we also found many evolutional traces of fish which were a part of our projects aim. Since then, I focused more on evolution of creatures all over the world, and revealing the exact evolution process of every creature was absolutely interesting and fascinating for me. Nowadays it'sis crystal clear that most of evolutionary processes occurs at molecular levels . Hence, with the help of molecular biology principles we can identify many of these evolutional traces. Also, I learned how to be an effective leader,( as I was working with junior interns), and the importance of working as a team to achieve our goal more efficiently and quickly.

As well as the coursework and practical experience, I have always followed the scientific innovations and new design techniques by reading scientificjournal papers and conference papers and attending various seminars &and conferences like:t he fifth, sixth and seventh international biotechnology conference inat the university of Tehran and the international conference of Genetics at Shahid Beheshty university. Also, In order to acquire knowledge on this widespread technology, I familiarized myself on them (change on them) through variety of workshops.

I also had the opportunity to work on a project of producing diagnosis Real-time Kits for detection of Human hepatitis (HBV, HCV) in one of the most prestige's researching institutes - Pasteur institute of Iran. Although this project is not yet completedyet , working in such atmosphere with great molecular biology experts under supervision of Dr. Nader Shahrokhiis served as an enriching experience and a chance to interact with dedicated professors in my stream.

It was not too much far after these researching projects that I received a job offer from the renowned first Iranian advanced biotech company in Iran-KIAGEN TEB CO.LTD. The beginning my job was to run diagnosis tests in NOOR laboratory in order to getting familiar with these types of tests and procedures more . After a while I started my main job in the company as a genomic service supervisor. My career is includinges designing n ext-g en s equencing projects, Sanger sequencing and primer synthesis. Also, troubleshooting the diagnosis tests in different customer's laboratories and setup PCR protocols for them. Working on different projects with my colleagues as a team, I have proven to be an excellent team worker. I have also selected to manage different activities as the leader to the team project as was assigned to me by the manager due to the leadership capabilities they found in me and acknowledged . I suggested to our boss to opening a facility for calibration of different types of molecular instruments like r eal-time PCR and thermo cyclers. For the very first time in Iran we initiated the calibration of various molecular instruments and gotreceieved all the certificates from the health ministry of Iran under my management.

My academic pursuits have not however, prevented me from participating with interest in various co-curricular activities such as organizing group sports. These activities have led to the development of a multifaceted personality and have equipped me with strong interpersonal skills.

My ultimate goal in my life is to make a commendable contribution to the science world by doing research which would change the dimensions of future understanding and the way we perceive the nature. My goal is to learn still further by pursuing a graduate degree and implementing thenew ideas as effectively as I can. I have a great confidence that I can have an excellent environment for enriching my knowledge (not sure what you mean here). I am confident that my academic records and practical knowledge combined with my eagerness to do research exhibit the perseverance and zeal required to pursue a Doctoral Degree in your reputed university.

I look forward to joining ... as a graduate student at your integrative and evolutionary biologyprogram. I have many ambitions for myself as I embark on this stage of my life. I believe that a graduate study will provide a milestone in my career along with learning invaluable experiences and skills that will allow me to become a successful, innovative professional and giving assistance to accomplish my goals.

Great detail and explainations, good luck.

Undergraduate / College admission essay for UIC on the Word "why" [2]

Essay:

Why? Is a question that we ask ourselves when we want to discover the world around us. It is a necessary step we must take to gain knowledge and open up the infinite confines of the world. Why, is a defining term in science, because without it, most of the scientific discoveries we have today wouldn'tnot have been discovered. For me, this one word can define my ability to gain new knowledge and information. It offers me a greater understanding of the world around me and the people that occupy it. Mostly importantly, it fuels my curiosity in into the field of computer science.

Ever since I was a little kid I'vehave been around computers. Any andE verything that was about them interested me. I would mess around with the household computer to see what would happen when I did certain things on it. Messing with different settings in the control panel and seeing the results of my tinkering on the screen. When things went wrong with the household computer I would try to fix them myself. If my attempts failed in which they always would, my dad would have to take it into the shop to get it repaired. I justsimply enjoyed taking apart electronics and toys as a child just to see how their innards worked. Even if it meant breaking them in the process for my thirst of knowledge and discovery. Learning, I felt, hasis something that has been part of me every since I was kid. So you see, learningunderstanding "why" has propelled me ever since I was a childmy beginnings. As I grew older I became fascinated with what is possible through the use of computers. The day that I built my first computer I felt like a kid in a candy shop once I had everything up and running. On the first computer that build, I lear nt how to change certain things in the bios. This lea d to me finding ways toin getting the most of out of that system. Then, in high school I took a computer courses in web programming and Cisco networking thatwhich stimulated my interest even more in this particular area of study. It got me geared toward how computers could be used in the real world a nd the need for skilled workers that can solves problems with computing. When I was researching possible majorsfor me to declare, I choo se computer science as career path becauseas it felt like the natural path for me .

The reason thatI choo se computer science as major because of the talent and dedication one must have to succeed in it. Many of the concepts and ideas require immense knowledge in different subjects to make programs and hardware. There are vast amount of different jobs in this field that requires someone with a computer science degree to either design or fix hardware to meet the goals of a business, or in developing software that is either used for consumer or business usage. I like that in this field it is ever changing and requires you to gain new skills. Also, it gives me the ability to think creatively to solve different problems. These are the things I would want to havedesire in my future career choice.

My career goals are to have a position as a software engineer for a corporation that creates software for business solutions. I want to be a software engineer for a business where I can find solutions to problems and increase productivity. To me, it is like putting together the pieces of a puzzle, and solving problems is what fascinates me most about this career path. This is a career that I know that offers great job opportunities and it is also a field in which I can adapt and grow in.

I decided to take classes at Prairie State College to prepare myself for UIC, so that when the time was right I would be able to meet the requirements in such a competitive and rigorous program. I am close to completionhave completed mostly all of my general educational requirements, and by the end of this semester I will have most of my science requirements donecompleted and started on my math requirements. Over the last couple of semesters I was able get my mathematical skills up to the strict standards that are held at the UIC School of Engineering. I'mI am currently right now I'm in General Chemistry I and Calculus I; which are two classes that I'mI am doing very well in. Also, I took intro to computer programming that ga ve me a starting point on how programs work and how to write them. Outside of class, I have been teaching myself how to program in C. Which shows that I have the initiative to learn on my own. Therefore, the classes that I took at P rairie S tate C ollege will have prepared me to become a successful student at UIC.

Overall, the word "why" has been a definingedword in my life. It has molded and shaped the person that I am. From this one word it shaped the reason why I like to learn and have since I was kidenjoying to learn has been a lifelong passion to me . It developing my interests in many different things, especially computers. It is a word that can lead those who seek on the path of knowledge and discovery.