Undergraduate / 'Her death awoken me' - Johns Hopkins major choice essay [4]

Prompt: Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

On December 3rd, 2007, my grandmother passed away at the age of 54. She could not stave off the fated result of battling adult-onset diabetes in a third-world country.

Her death had awoken me to the realization that the human body is not invincible, but rather, it is a system of parts that must perform various functions in synergy in order to reach a desired goal. This newfound understanding sparked in me a sense of fervor to understand how body systems work and why they often fail.

As I gained more exposure to the nature of these systems through courses such as AP Biology and Human Anatomy and Physiology, I became more and more convinced that this is my passion. I became involved with the Science Olympiad team at my school and for a whole year studied a single protein, Caspase-3. I was absolutely enthralled by the fact that this single protein plays a crucial role in apoptosis (programmed cell death) and holds great promise in offering lifesaving cancer gene therapy.

At Johns Hopkins, I want to be able to study in a program that provides academic resources and research opportunities that help further augment my understanding of these topics in both the classroom and the lab, so that I may in the future apply this knowledge to find treatments and solutions to diseases like cancer or diabetes. The Biomedical Engineering program is ideal in that regard and I hope to have the opportunity to become a part of it.

Undergraduate / I am a "Cameron Crazy" at heart.; Duke Trinity College of A&S/ Good match? [5]

Prompt: (For Arts and Sciences Applicants Only) If you are applying to Trinity College of Arts and Sciences, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something in particular at Duke that attracts you? Please limit your response to one or two paragraphs.

I am a "Cameron Crazy" at heart. I have bled Duke blue for as long as I can remember, even when residing in the enemy trenches of Lexington, KY (home of the Kentucky Wildcats). But it was more than the thrill of watching the Duke men's basketball team make a late March run at a national championship that aligned me so strongly with Duke country.

Over my high school career, I have devoted much of my energies to community service and development initiatives. Most notably, in the summer after tenth grade, I made the journey to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to work on an HIV/AIDS awareness campaign with a nongovernmental organization called People to People. We worked to alleviate the stigma associated with HIV/AIDS and promoted practices which we believed would lower the incidences of HIV/AIDS contraction. It was an illuminating experience because it helped me realize my dual passions for biomedicine and public health. The Biology Department and the Sanford School of Public Policy offer the academic infrastructure needed for me to pursue these two fields readily. Additionally, I have become fascinated by the opportunity to conduct fieldwork pertaining to global health and development through the DukeEngage program. Coupled with the aforementioned academic programs, I imagine that DukeEngage will afford the hands-on experience necessary to lay the foundation for a future career in health care delivery, either through forming health policy at a government level, or engaging in the administering of medicine as a physician. I see Duke as a place where the cultivation of these desires is not only possible, but highly encouraged and, for that reason, I cannot imagine a better place to spend my next four years.

//END

Does anyone think that I should just omit the entire first paragraph? What would be the benefit of keeping it in?
Thanks!

Undergraduate / I & my grandfather; Johns Hopkins Sup/ more about me [4]

Prompt: Tell us something about yourself or your interests that we wouldn't learn by looking at the rest of your application materials.

I call my grandfather every Sunday night. It always starts off the same way: he thanks me for calling, and asks how my mother is doing. I tell him that everything is fine here and that we are waiting for him to visit the States. Every time, he replies, "God willing, I one day will."

I am amazed at his resilience, knowing what he has gone through, having lost his wife and his career as an engineer, and having been evicted from his home of 50 years for not being able to sustain the lifestyle he once could. I feel guilty for not inquiring about his health, but when I try to, he emphatically reminds me that I shouldn't worry about him.

Our conversations usually venture into a discussion of the trivial. We forget the troubles of our lives (in my case, not as serious) and enjoy each other's voice and virtual company. I laugh at his failed attempts at grasping English grammar rules, and he, at my hopeless attempts at speaking Harari. Our six decades and 7,000 miles of separation become negligible. We become the only two people in the world that exist, that is, until my father yells that a United States to Ethiopia call is $00.25/min. I always have to be the one to end the call prematurely, citing homework or the dishes as an excuse, but I leave with a sense of comfort, knowing that next Sunday my grandfather will be waiting at the phone again.

//END

I know it has a sort of abrupt ending. But, keep in mind that the essay allows a hard and fast 250 words MAX. Mine is exactly 250.

Undergraduate / "Literature is the best way to overcome death"--- Amherst College supplemental essay [6]

Prompt:
"Literature is the best way to overcome death. My father, as I said, is an actor. He's the happiest man on earth when he's performing, but when the show is over, he's sad and troubled. I wish he could live in the eternal present, because in the theater everything remains in memories and photographs. Literature, on the other hand, allows you to live in the present and to remain in the pantheon of the future.

Literature is a way to say, I was here, this is what I thought, this is what I perceived. This is my signature, this is my name."

This essay has specific directions to be personal, not argumentative.

Start//

Cracking open a book never fails to incite a Pavlovian reaction. It starts with a conscious removal of peripheral thoughts, then the wiping away of my anticipatory grin, and finally, a deep breath. This ritual has a religious undertone, as I know I am about to expose myself to a truly transcendent form of expression. I brace for an unfiltered dialogue of intellect, a deluge of emotion, a broadcast of the most human characteristics: imperfection, vulnerability, and temptation. And then it begins.

I am held captive by sensation. For a time, I become Greek, Barbadian, or Moorish. I am, in an instant, no longer a post-African American Civil Rights Era black; I hear the crack of the whip, and breathe the air of a guilty nation. The words become a medium by which I can feel the deepest, and most candid of emotions. I let the barriers of language and time dissolve, allowing me to become a receptacle for the timeless stories and lessons of humanity. I let the past have a voice.

I have developed a strong affinity for these interminable emblems of the human condition that we call literature. They are often the sacrificial lambs of their generations, speaking against their antiquated zeitgeist. They are the silent defeaters of kings, the liberators of the woman and the slave. I do not know of a more powerful force in the sparking of our American Revolution than Thomas Paine's Common Sense. Nothing helped inspire the abolitionist movement more than Harriet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin. Literature defines who we are and it moves us forward as a civilization. For me, it keeps me sane, and I am therefore eternally indebted.

//end

It has a 300 word limit and mine is 280.

Thanks!