Posts by wellesleygirl

wellesleygirl

Nov 4, 2012

Undergraduate / 'Grew up running' - Short Answer for Common App - Running [4]

This is for the Common App short answer. Please give any advice you might have on how to improve it! (also, the dashed line is my last name, but I didn't want to actually post it)

I grew up running. I am a -------; it's what we do. My childhood was spent cheering older siblings from the sidelines, dreaming of the day when I too would be the shining star. I remember when I was six, challenging my cousin to a race. She accepted giggling, at which I was slightly annoyed. This was, after all, a race-a very serious business. Count of three and we were off! I surged ahead, pigtails blowing in the wind, stubby legs stretched as far as they could, confident I was a match for any of my siblings. That is, until I glanced back to see my cousin collapsed in a puddle of tears at the thought of losing. Visions of imaginary medals forgotten, I picked her up, cheering her to a first-place finish.

Not much has changed. I am still the little girl who delights in a race, though I am not the record-breaking runner I had so long envisioned. Medals are rare, but what matters is not always measured in gold. The teammates I run with count as much as my place at the finish line. When I asked my coach why he chose me to be a captain, since I am neither the fastest nor the loudest, he confided, "When someone is crying or hurt, I know you'll be there." No ribbons around my neck or plaques on the wall could mean more.

wellesleygirl

Nov 4, 2012

Undergraduate / 'Grew up running' - Short Answer for Common App - Running [4]

Thank you! Yes that makes sense, I'll edit that part.

wellesleygirl

Jan 15, 2013

Undergraduate / Tufts "let your life speak" - why I want to be a doctor [9]

excellent! love it! just a few minor changes to make it more clear:

"Though I recall certain hospital experiences as more traumatic and gruesome than others, with each visit I was always/i] amazed by [i]the physicians who treated me"

"Thorough experience in the medical field from the patient perspective has certainly influenced my desire to become a physician." (take out "Having")

"I desire to go into medicine because I am utterly fascinated by the science aspect of the healthcare field, and all of the potential innovations and advancements to be made."

"However I also want to become a doctor because I aspire to be as dependable for my patients as the physicians who treated me have been."

just some suggestions! take them or leave them

wellesleygirl

Jan 15, 2013

Undergraduate / The Poet's Inspiration; St. Olaf / Interim Course Design [6]

Prompt: During Interim, St. Olaf students pursue a single course, often of an interdisciplinary nature. If you could design your own Interim course today, what would it be? (250-500 words)

Please give any suggestions! Especially about grammar and if there is anything I could add to make it more complete

The Poet's Inspiration
What better way to appreciate the words of William Wordsworth, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and Robert Southey than to be in the same setting as when they wrote them? For this particular Interim course, students at St. Olaf would have the opportunity to travel to the renowned and breathtaking Lake District of England while studying the works of the "Lake Poets" along with the history of the three most distinguished poets among them. This would provide a distinct advantage for the students as they could catch a glimpse of the literal point of view for each poet, and then how the surroundings might have affected their poetry. This class would of course be for those who enjoy poetry, as it would be the central focus of the course. The syllabus would include a variety of each of the three's poems, as well as some of their most famous. From what I have ascertained about the January term at St. Olaf, I gathered that it is an opportunity for students to take classes they would not normally have the chance to due to major requirements, and a chance for those same people to study abroad if they cannot for a whole semester. This course allows students to travel to a new and exciting place, while studying a unique subject. As a hopeful History major, I would enjoy learning about the poets' lives while at the same time taking a step out of history and into English. In addition, studying abroad allows students to experience what they are learning outside of the classroom.

wellesleygirl

Jan 15, 2013

Undergraduate / The Poet's Inspiration; St. Olaf / Interim Course Design [6]

Thank you! I know I have more to work on (and that last sentence definitely bothered me too)

wellesleygirl

Jan 15, 2013

Undergraduate / The Poet's Inspiration; St. Olaf / Interim Course Design [6]

This is the second edit: (I stand by my opening sentence)

What better way to appreciate the words of the Lake Poets than to be in the same setting as when they penned them? For this particular Interim course, students at St. Olaf would have the extraordinary opportunity to travel to the renowned and breathtaking Lake District of England while studying the works of the Lake Poets. Along with the analysis of their poetry, students would be informed of the history of the three most distinguished Lake Poets: William Wordsworth, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and Robert Southey. This course would provide a distinct advantage for the students as they could catch a glimpse of the literal point of view of each poet, which could then aid in their analysis of how the surroundings might have affected the poetry. It is designed of course for those who enjoy poetry, as that would be the central focus of the course, however, there would also be an additional minor focus in history since I believe background information is essential for any in-depth study. The syllabus would include a variety of Wordsworth, Coleridge, and Southey poems, as well as some of the most famous poems written about the Lake District. From what I have ascertained about the January term at St. Olaf, I gathered that it is an opportunity for students to take classes they would not normally have the chance to, mostly due to their major requirements, and also a chance for students to study abroad at least once if their schedule will not allow for a whole semester. This course enables students to travel to a new and exciting place (as well as gorgeous), while studying a subject in a different way. Traveling across the Lake District would allow students to experience what they are studying in a setting much different than that of the classroom. As a hopeful History major, although I adore studying the wars of the American Revolution or the people of Ancient Greece, I also adore literature and poetry. With this course I could travel to a place I have so long read of, while doing what I love: reading and breathing in a beautiful setting.