Posts by Mario8a

Mario8a

Nov 15, 2012

Undergraduate / UPENN Essay - Someday, I want to things and go places [3]

I think is pretty good but you should write at the end of how Upenn could make you move an accomplish the dreams that you have( in this case how can they help you move)

Also at the start you are stating that you practically not do anything because you live in the suburbs. That may be the case but the university is may think that you dont do anything. Put like you always find ways to do something but will like to do more. Thtas my opinion and sorry for the english

Mario8a

Nov 15, 2012

Undergraduate / 'the stigma of being gay' - B for UT is a little TOO personal? [11]

This is suppose to be a world of reason, where intolerance makes this live more mediocre.You touch me with your essay and I think is very brave from you to express this. You should keep this topic and how being gay has made you unique and what people don't see in that.

Mario8a

Nov 16, 2012

Undergraduate / Common App Short Answer about Animal Shelter [3]

This is my answer to the common app short answer. The prompt is " Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum). "

For 40 hours in the summer, I volunteer in the Animal Control Center near my house. Helping in many ways such as cleaning, playing, assisting, and taking care of the animals. Most of the time I passed cleaning the cages and place of the animals, thing that I never did with my own animals. All day I saw lots of animals left in the center just to get them sleep. This was a great opportunity to learn how to take care of my own animals and how to love them more. Seeing lovely animals getting sleep because there was no space for them in the center, make me think of how I have the opportunity to have the animals that I have, making me a more lovely person with animals.

There are 671 characters(with spaces)

Please help me,I'am not a native speaker. Do you think is good?? Should I write a little more ? Please feel free to correct any grammatical error.

Mario8a

Nov 16, 2012

Undergraduate / Common App Short Answer about Animal Shelter [3]

For 40 hours in the summer, I volunteered at the Animal Control Center near my home. Helping in many ways such as cleaning, playing, assisting, and taking care of the animals. Most of the time I passed cleaning the cages and places where the animals were, thing that I never did with my own animals. I also tried to find a home for every animal at the center, encouraging the persons to adopt them. All day I saw lots of animals left in the center just to get them sleep. This was a great opportunity to learn how to take care of my own animals and how to love them more. Also speaking with persons trying to encourage them to adopt the animals, made me see the ability that I have to express with people in certain situations like this. Seeing lovely animals getting sleep because there was no space for them in the center, make me think of how I have the opportunity to have the animals that I have, making me a more lovely person with animals.

How about now? and thanks for trying to help me