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Posts by nounouboo [Suspended]
Joined: Nov 15, 2012
Last Post: Dec 28, 2012
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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nounouboo   
Nov 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'My father's Lebanon stories' - UC ESSAY #1 [3]

PLEASE let me know how it sounds! I still need to end it with how it has shaped me, but I just want to know where it is going.

I have always listened to my father's stories about his childhood back in Lebanon. He was always so excited to tell my brother and I about how great the people are there and how one day he hoped that we could feel the way he did about such a place. He told me about how he grew up in a world where he never wanted to leave, but was always worried that the occasional fighting, going on outside his hometown, would cause him and his family to look for a new home. I never imagined that one day I would be caught in the middle of that world.

A loud blast had shook the building and followed with an explosion. A missile strike had just toppled an adjoining hilltop and a fiery smoke began to tower. Being only ten, I panicked and ran to my hotel room, looking for my mom and brother. Once together, she told my brother and I that we had to flee the chaos and leave Lebanon only a week into our annual three month vacation. With the airport bombed, we were unsure by which route. I was disillusioned, thinking back to what my dad had told me about this wonderful world where he grew up, and so I began to draw away from it.

As an American, born into a traditional Lebanese household, it was a challenge. Trying to blend two contrasting societal foundations, I found myself clashing with both Lebanese values and the American way of life. I questioned being in Sunday school, learning Arabic and singing cultural hymns, which I thought were pointless living in America. Also, I was bothered with spending summer vacations visiting family in Lebanon and not understanding what they were saying. I much preferred the
nounouboo   
Nov 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'into a natural high' - UC Prompt 1 [5]

Adrenaline rushed through my veins, most likely from the anticipation of the fear to come.

Don't use arbitrary.

Trying to break the ice not force the ice to break.
nounouboo   
Nov 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'When Kim Jong Il passed away' - UWashington topic 1 [5]

people, even my friends, would call me (add the comma after friends)

Instead of saying the thing my grandfather hides just say What my grandfather hides very well is that

i don't think north korea is a "new" communist nation, so i would take out new

Because you want to sound sure, say i will comprehend not i will try to comprehend (if you want to)

Great story :)
nounouboo   
Nov 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'a future CIA Agent' - St.John's University Essay [3]

I think instead of using us, you should say me since it is about YOU.

Other than that, sounds very concise and to the point!

please check mine out! UC ESSAY #1
- the way you write can help improve my essay too
nounouboo   
Nov 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'No Short cuts'- apply Texas topic B; downfall of Lance Armstrong [4]

I think that sounds really good. I have a few suggestions

Instead of using I wish to become an independent person, say I want so you are more assuring.

because this (idea) of 'instant gratification' leads many of us, most of us, to find a way around obstacles (fix this)

reached for unfair assistance ( I think this sounds odd, maybe something like took advantage ________)

Maybe give an example of how he used unfair assistance to show he was trying to take a shortcut
nounouboo   
Dec 9, 2012
Undergraduate / Academic interests/ What intrigues you?: NYU Supplements! [4]

ANY help is appreciated! If someone could help elaborate too! THANKS!

A. NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

At the College of Arts and Sciences at NYU, I decided that I want to major in biology and be part of the pre health program for medicine. I am fascinated with how the human body functions, being made up of so many differentiated systems. As such, I hope to become a health care professional to also care for the health of others. At NYU, I can participate in the research program of my choice and develop close interactions with classmates and faculty, all while being of service to the global community of New York City. With all the courses available, I can choose any area to pursue. I am interested in going to medical school to study neonatology so the research opportunities in developmental genetics can teach me about embryonic development and other mechanisms.

B. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

Google, Netflix, Facebook, music, emails, CNN, and The Common App too. What if none of these websites existed? Well, they wouldn't without the Internet. A majority of us take the Internet for granted, now since cellular devices don't need Wifi anymore and can just connect using 3G or 4G and now even 5G. I am fascinated at how much information is stored on the web and how accessible it is worldwide. To be able to send a message to my cousins in Lebanon at any hour of the day, wherever I want, is revolutionary. Without the Internet, what would we have? It would be so difficult to do anything. I would not be able to access my homework, watch my favorite music videos, shop, and apply to college.
nounouboo   
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / Sultan Ahmed Mosque; NYU supp/ What intrigues you? [4]

Any comments please. I do not want to sound offensive in any way by trying to make it sound personal. Please and thank you.

B. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

It was my first time ever visiting a mosque, let alone one located in one of the most historical countries in the world. Arriving at the Sultan Ahmed Mosque, popularly known as the Blue Mosque in Istanbul, I was clueless to what I was supposed to do. Once I visited this place of worship, now more of a museum, I was amazed at how after standing for over 400 years, it is still required that visitors must respect the religion and the culture by being presentable.

Approaching the place of worship, I realized that I was not dressed properly and I was provided, along with a majority of other women, cloths to cover my legs, arms, and head. That very moment illustrated how high value is placed on culture in certain parts of the world and it reminded me of the significance of traditions in my own life. Being of Lebanese background, I have been exposed to centuries worth of history, whether it was on street corners in my parents' hometown or at historical landmarks.

I was intrigued by how there are so few people and places, compared to centuries ago, that cherish their historical backgrounds. It is quite uncommon today to appreciate something that distinguishes you from everyone else. I was able to grasp how the presence of my own background identifies who I am because of where I come from and how I need to preserve it.
nounouboo   
Dec 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / City is more convienent than countryside [2]

A big question that boggles people's minds in the modern world is whether children should grow up in the countryside or in the city. Some parents prefer the countryside because it brings more benefit to their child rather than in the noisy, overcrowded city. Other parents feel that the city is the best spot to raise children because it allows them to be more independent. I would have to agree with those parents who think the city is more convenient because it provides a better educational environment than the countryside.

Changed a few things!
nounouboo   
Dec 28, 2012
Undergraduate / I never liked to be out of the loop- NYU Supplement/ What Intrigues You? [3]

When describing the news be more descriptive, like say the channel or something. When you say now i realized the interest it's sparked in me, before that say how over time, growing up and listening more and more to global and local news, i realized the interest blah blah blah

please help on my NYU supplement too!
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