Writing Feedback / Our past is a cemented foundation upon which we build our future - GRE [3]

The topic was- "We must take the learnings from our past ventures to shape our future"

An advice from a tree- " Stand tall, stay grounded, and enjoy the view".
It would extremely hard to hold any high rise erect without a solid support. And our past is in a way like a cemented foundation upon which we build the future. And it is crucial that our fundamentals are infallible because it is easier to mitigate any problems or like a building with a fragile foundation will be totally obliterated.

Additionally if we are so determined to shape the future then we ought to do so gracefully. We have to respect the past for the good that it brought, and we have to carry those learnings into our future ventures. Mahatma Gandhi took 200 years to liberate India with his firm belief in Satyagraha and non violence. If compared to the Independence movement led by George Washington, it wouldn't be as decorous. However he established a philosophy which led us to believe that "pen is mightier than the sword" and was later improvised and implemented by Martin Luther King to champion the African American movement and later by Nelson Mendla to abolish apartheid in South Africa. Therefore it is crucial to make the best of what our history and ventures in the past teach us because much of what we are today is because of our mistakes in the past!

However, past is not the panacea to all the problems we face in the future. Steve Jobs's iPad is a rage with people all over; but a decade ago nobody knew what tablet was and what its potential was! Nevertheless Mr. Jobs made sure that mankind got to experience this incredible piece of scientific innovation without referring to anything of such kind to take inspiration from!

Therefore it is very evident that our past ventures are immense value. A value that can aid us in discerning the right from the wrong, the good from the evil, the ordinary from the ordinary extraordinary. It is guide to refer when we are confused of what we are supposed to do next. And it is not only necessary preserve it and treasure it but often a take step back and ruminate on it.

I would be extremely grateful if someone could rate my essay and help me improve upon it!

Writing Feedback / GRE ANALYTICAL-relationships can only develop after a CONFLICT [2]

Issue:Some people believe that strong relationships can only develop after conflict and resolution gave enabled the partners to speak openly and trust deeply.Others believe that each conflict creates rifts in a relationship that can never be repaired, weakening its foundation.

Please rate the essay out of 6 and help me improve upon it!

Response

"A sanguine person sees the glass half full, rather than half empty!". It would be very convenient for anybody to identify the human's innate tendency to engulf themselves in conflicts as the primal cause of all the distress in their life. However, since it is nature that has deigned the edifice of conflicts in our lives then it may veritably have some purpose in our lives, which a lot of us may fail to embrace.

Conflicts occur because of entities at odds. If we want things to move forward to something fruitful, then we would want to to do away with these trivialities impeding us from coming to a consensus. However, if we wouldn't have any conflicts the it would be apparently difficult to identify these differences and things would stall and eventually fall apart due to the apathy that will creep into our minds.

Another interesting aspect of human proclivity is that, more often than not, is to not appreciate certain things in life until it is lost. "The grass on the other side always appears greener" and with conflicts sometimes de voiding people of some of the most intimate elements in life makes them realize the importance of what they have now lost!

Although conflicts is not a panacea for people to settle their differences and it is certainly not the only way people can come to accord. For example, sometimes it is easier for us to share our points of concern with our friends than anybody else. However other times, until there is some heated exchange of words things do not come to an understanding. However, the important thing is that we are eventually we are able to settle our differences, even though sometimes through certain difficult paths.

Thus I firmly believe in this cycle of incessant "construction and re-construction". This way we are always engaged in evolving our personalities and removing those barriers that obstruct us from creating a truly humane society!