Kevin2013
Dec 13, 2012
Undergraduate / Common App Activities Essay - Advice and Proofreading [6]
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
"Pump your arms, drive forward, form, form!" The rush of wind drowns out my coach's voice as I begin cycling my legs as fast as I can. I feel the familiar rush of adrenaline as everything around me is slowly muted. The slapping thup thup thup of my teammates' shoes on the track's surface and my hammering heartbeat all gradually fade into the background. It's the end of a long school day, and I've finally found my moment of peace, ironically, in the midst of a physical battle within my body. During class, Nitrogen cycles, Freud's psychoanalysis, and derivatives don't do well to keep my restlessness at bay. As it nears the end of the period, my eyes dart towards the clock more frequently, waiting for electronic digits to strike 2:55. The moment it does, I tear across the field with my teammates to the 400 meter maroon oval. Left, right, left, right. Each stride brushes aside a worry and I'm at a rare peace where the only thing that matters is the solid, white finish line in the distance.
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Character Count: 1,014
Comments, concerns, and any other advice are very welcome! :)
I'm over the character limit by a bit, so any advice on cutting down would be very helpful too.
Kevin
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
"Pump your arms, drive forward, form, form!" The rush of wind drowns out my coach's voice as I begin cycling my legs as fast as I can. I feel the familiar rush of adrenaline as everything around me is slowly muted. The slapping thup thup thup of my teammates' shoes on the track's surface and my hammering heartbeat all gradually fade into the background. It's the end of a long school day, and I've finally found my moment of peace, ironically, in the midst of a physical battle within my body. During class, Nitrogen cycles, Freud's psychoanalysis, and derivatives don't do well to keep my restlessness at bay. As it nears the end of the period, my eyes dart towards the clock more frequently, waiting for electronic digits to strike 2:55. The moment it does, I tear across the field with my teammates to the 400 meter maroon oval. Left, right, left, right. Each stride brushes aside a worry and I'm at a rare peace where the only thing that matters is the solid, white finish line in the distance.
--------------------------------------------------------
Character Count: 1,014
Comments, concerns, and any other advice are very welcome! :)
I'm over the character limit by a bit, so any advice on cutting down would be very helpful too.
Kevin