technogirl
Feb 28, 2009
Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]
I'm the newbie and my major is not English. So my English is really bad. Please help me, I need somebody correct it and make it shorter for me, okay. This essay makes me crazy!!
Topic: In not more than 300 words, list and describe highlight of your three most valuable achievements, contributions and experience in context of three activities...
_____________________________________________________
1500 m left...
I was totally exhausted. My legs didn't want to move on anymore. Some parts inside of me wanted to give up. At the time I intended to give, suddenly an image of the smile of my beloved disable kids appeared in my mind. Oh, it's the time I visited them while I was the Leader of the Volunteer Team., the time I learned about the love, about the sharing. Their angel smiles with lovely, naive eyes obsessed me and made me to join this Voluntary Marathon. I couldn't give up. I must move on...
800 m left...
Maybe this time I hardly can go on. Oh God, everything in front of me seems to be blurred. The only things I can see right now is the red ribbon in the end of the road and some guys in front of me. Wow, why is it like my competition exam? I still remember I was exactly how I am now: exhausted, nervous. At that time, I had to compete with 2 guys to be in the team of the City Competition. Studying overload and stresses depressed me. Seemingly, something inside of me called distinct made me study crazily. It made me try my best to compete with 2 guys to get what I aimed. And ultimately, I had my name in the list of Competition Team, of course by defeating 2 guys. ..My legs now seem to move faster and faster. I couldn't be defeated..
10 m final..
Finally, I was not the one who came first but I also took part in the victory of my team; we got the gold medal for the whole team. What I got from this competition is not only the perseverance nor the competing spirit, it is also the lesson about the love, about the sharing. This is the first time I do something for others, for my beloved angel kids.
I'm the newbie and my major is not English. So my English is really bad. Please help me, I need somebody correct it and make it shorter for me, okay. This essay makes me crazy!!
Topic: In not more than 300 words, list and describe highlight of your three most valuable achievements, contributions and experience in context of three activities...
_____________________________________________________
1500 m left...
I was totally exhausted. My legs didn't want to move on anymore. Some parts inside of me wanted to give up. At the time I intended to give, suddenly an image of the smile of my beloved disable kids appeared in my mind. Oh, it's the time I visited them while I was the Leader of the Volunteer Team., the time I learned about the love, about the sharing. Their angel smiles with lovely, naive eyes obsessed me and made me to join this Voluntary Marathon. I couldn't give up. I must move on...
800 m left...
Maybe this time I hardly can go on. Oh God, everything in front of me seems to be blurred. The only things I can see right now is the red ribbon in the end of the road and some guys in front of me. Wow, why is it like my competition exam? I still remember I was exactly how I am now: exhausted, nervous. At that time, I had to compete with 2 guys to be in the team of the City Competition. Studying overload and stresses depressed me. Seemingly, something inside of me called distinct made me study crazily. It made me try my best to compete with 2 guys to get what I aimed. And ultimately, I had my name in the list of Competition Team, of course by defeating 2 guys. ..My legs now seem to move faster and faster. I couldn't be defeated..
10 m final..
Finally, I was not the one who came first but I also took part in the victory of my team; we got the gold medal for the whole team. What I got from this competition is not only the perseverance nor the competing spirit, it is also the lesson about the love, about the sharing. This is the first time I do something for others, for my beloved angel kids.