Writing Feedback / Write about the benefits of having good friends (Qualifying English Test) [3]

Forming strong friendships is one of the most important aspects of life as a student. Friends are like the substitute of our family , especially when we are distant to our family. Look for allies is even harder rather than look for foes. A lot of people tried their best to look for these friends whether it takes some payment in form of material and spiritual. So why do people compete in looking for friends? There are some reasons why people strive to having a lot of friends.

First, by having good friends, we will be easy to look for assistance. Problem comes without invitation, so nobody could avoid it. In such circumstance, friends could be the best allies for you to solve the problem and assists you. With a strong solidarity and spirit, friends will help each other and bring a way out from the problems to whoever needs it. They are cohesive and cooperative in order to help each other inside their community.

Second, by having good friends, we have a place to rely all of our problems. We could share each other what problems afflict us, what events make us happy or sad, what is our secret which is really bothering us, e.t.c. So, in this situation, friends take role as our vessel to distract all of emotional problem and relieve our brain's stress. This also could reduce numbers of desperate people committing in suicidal.

Third, good friends will not lead us into a damaged situation. Although in some case, friends could make some jokes or fools which are embarrassing us, but in other side of their mischievous behavior, they are care to each other. They will give us advises to lead us into a better condition and encourage us if we are in a wrong way. That's why we should choose a well-personality people to be our friends.

In summary, friendship is essential. Humans are social creatures which need friends to accompany their life. Having good friends could lead us to get out from the trouble and bring us to a better condition. That's why having good friends are beneficial.

Writing Feedback / What changes your perception in order to be a better communicator [4]

What are you did in the past determine who you are right now. We might hear this proverb for a plenty of time. In a real life, culture, education, society, and experience might have a big role in building your character. This is happened to me when I am living in a scientific education realm for a couple of years. I believed that science is the best. Eventually, everything changed upon my rendezvous with some great people in various backgrounds.

Firstly, I am joining Mathematics course when I was in the secondary school. I took this course for six years until I finished High School. In high school, I also involved at Physics Olympiad team. These things made me become a science-based person. I almost measure and relate everything from scientific point of view. Hence, I only interested in science stuffs and I ignored other stuffs outside science. I percept science is on top of the world and other disciplines are worthless.

However, this view leads me to have a problem in communication because I even include science in every part of my communication. For instance in conversation with people, school work, or even in subjects which have no relation at all with science. Sometimes I found myself distressed when I should talk about something irrelevant to science. Afterwards, my opinions frequently been denied by people when having a conversation. In this way, I am not able in giving or receiving my ideas perfectly. I am disabled in communicating.

Nevertheless, those poor things are changed after I entered University. I met heaps of great people. Although they did not come from science background, they have a big role in the education world. I realized in sudden that this world is vast. Science is not a sole important thing in this world. From that moment, I changed my outlook towards everything. I started to accept and understanding other ideas gradually. Then I tried to recognize the circumstance, where should I talk about this or that. Thus, I can set a limitation of my perception and able to communicate better in order to be compatible with the other communicator.

In conclusion, what are you doing now will determine your future. We might have our own ideas and perceptions based on our background. However, not all of these perceptions are right. It is not too late to turn over. There are two steps to get out of this red zone. Accept other ideas and realize the suitable situation. In this way, you will be a better and convenient communicator for other people.

Help me with these things:
Correct mistakes in grammar
Does it has clear and organized topic in each paragraph?
Give some suitable and more attractive words