Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by tilden
Joined: Sep 7, 2013
Last Post: Sep 8, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: Nigeria

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
tilden   
Sep 7, 2013
Scholarship / How Nature Works was definitely manna for my inquisitive mind; Questbridge App [6]

Dear Reader,
Please kindly tell me what you think about this essay and how it can be improved. Its 214 words I am working on it to be 200 words.Any advice given will be appreciated.

Prompt:Tell us about a concept or subject that intellectually excites you. Why does it interest you?

"How do we know that the creations of worlds are not determined by falling grains of sand?" -Victor Hugo

Whenever I think about it, I always conclude that Per Bak's book: How Nature Works was definitely manna for my inquisitive mind.

As a mere 10th grader who was still finding my feet while graphing Cartesian planes and juggling complex trigonometric ratios, it was not unusual to find the concept of self organised criticality (SOC) discussed in this tome way out of my league. However, in 10 minutes of our fortunate encounter, I was enraptured by the basic concepts and needless to say, I fell in love.

Before long, I had found the similarity between the Devil's staircase-a creation of Bak and no relation of the mountain range in Scotland just in case you thought so- and the evolutionary biology theory of punctuated equilibrium. But what really excited me after weeks of researching fractal graphs, avalanches, negative power laws and SOC's application in financial markets, earthquakes and mass extinctions was the basic concept-how small perturbations could cause unforeseen prodigious changes in relatively gigantic systems.

To be honest, I used to ponder this all my life. Could little me really make a difference in this vast universe? Till today, I never believed math could have the answer!

tilden   
Sep 7, 2013
Scholarship / Seasons of My Life; QuestBridge/ factors and challenges that shaped my life [3]

Your essay is quite good! I am applying to Questbridge too and rite now I am hoping we both get in.However,I think it is a bit too verbose and I believe that you played up so much on hardship without giving in depth information as regards to how these all shaped your life. Otherwise, its top notch.Please check out my short answer essay on Questbridge as well and give a review.Thanks.
tilden   
Sep 8, 2013
Scholarship / I did not have an American dream; QuestBridge Scholarship / Biographical essay [11]

Your poetic tone helps your essay a lot. Ur style is quit good. I haven't seen what you've rewritten but I think in the original piece you go just a bit vague in a few places like the 'strings being altered' part.

I didn't complain, because I knew it wasn't going to change reality.
As cliché as it may seem, my parents have taught me not to give up on what I believe,

Oh and at this part, I felt that your essay did not quite flow...
Despite that, its great.
Im doing Questbridge too, and I am hoping we both get in..please help me check my short answer essay too.
tilden   
Sep 8, 2013
Scholarship / How Nature Works was definitely manna for my inquisitive mind; Questbridge App [6]

Actually, its tome- which simply means a heavy book on a very serious subject.
Thanks very much for your review!

I do think you focused more on the part of the prompt that asks about a subject that intellectually excites you rather that why it excites you. You go into so much detail about the concept

Is it the part with the Devil's staircase and stuff... I thought I had to talk to an extent about it to actually let the admissions offer know that I understand the subject matter very well

Thank so much for the review though...I can now improve myself...
tilden   
Sep 8, 2013
Scholarship / How Nature Works was definitely manna for my inquisitive mind; Questbridge App [6]

Thanks very much...I have given a lot of people my essay to review.. and you are the first person to actually point that grammatical error to me

As a mere 10th grader who was still finding his/her feet

I'll change that and I am gonna work on ur advice- to show and not tell.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳