Undergraduate / Event, formal or informal - CHILDHOOD to ADULTHOOD [3]

Hey there! This is my first post and I would like to request a grading of my Common App essay. Be as critical as you possibly can, please! Thanks!

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Honestly, I don't believe that my defining moment of my transition into adulthood really came until very recently, in the past summer, during the shift from junior year into senior year. During that summer, multiple events occurred that changed me for the better and ultimately, made me more mature in my own eyes. Prior to that period, I always felt that I wasn't as mature as I should've been. I always procrastinated and it impacted my academic and social life negatively and whenever I had the chance to do a little extra work, I would always pass. However, over time, I was able to develop a sense of priority in my work and eventually, it culminated in the events of this past summer. Near the end of June, I began attending the National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine at Villanova University for ten days. Little did I know that those ten days of pure unbridled independence would turn out to be some of the best days of my life. My first day of class at the Forum, however, began with a feeling a homesickness. Nevertheless, I was able to overcome this feeling by integrating myself into the Forum and associating with my newfound peers. Being given the independence and free will to make my own choices in a college setting was one of the best experiences that I had to that point. During those ten days, I realized something: that the setting I was in is identical to what I will have to live in for probably the next four years. Because of this realization, I felt that I needed to grow accustomed to life as an independent person that could manage on my own: an adult. To me, being an adult involves taking control of independence and learning to use it to the fullest, rather than just possessing it. The Forum taught me the value of independence and thus, I consider it the epitome of my transformation into an adult.

Graduate / It was love at first sight; University of Pennsylvania QuestBridge Sup [2]

Hey there! I am applying to the UPenn College of Arts and Sciences and was hoping my essay could be critiqued and if possible, I could be given advice! Be as critical as you can. Thanks!

The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words)

It was love at first sight. Looking into that microscope lens in biology class freshman year was one of the most fascinating views I had ever examined. Seeing all those plant cells packed tightly together in such a formation that they could withstand the elements and even the force of gravity was fascinating. I let my mind wander and I thought to myself: how could something on such a small scale be so effective and convenient when considered in larger proportions? Ralph Waldo Emerson once remarked: "Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science." As an academic scholar, I hold true to this quote because it dictates that I must have an open mind to pursue the art of the sciences. Thus, I sought out the answer in a years-long journey, taking as many of the advanced science courses that my high school offered as possible, including advanced placement courses in biology, chemistry, and physics. Yet, even with all the knowledge and insights that I gained from them, my understanding of the cellular and molecular bases of the natural world is still minuscule compared to the amount of information that is known to the current world. Nevertheless, the inferno of my passion for science is still burning and is being fueled by my curiosity. By applying to the University of Pennsylvania College of Arts and Sciences, I expect to satiate this desire for knowledge in the sciences.

However, the world-class education at the College of Arts and Sciences is not the only aspect of the University that I seek. The research opportunities presented to students are bountiful, especially in the biochemistry program. Being able to apply to those research programs will provide me with the experience that I need in my pursuit of a degree in biochemistry. Research will not only make my resume look better; it will also yield a valuable understanding of real world application of what is learned in academia.

After my undergraduate years, I hope to enter medical school and pursue an MD to initiate my career in the medical field. The College at Penn will undoubtedly prepare me very well for the transition because of all the experience and expertise I will have gained by the time I graduate. I understand that I have a very lengthy path in front of me, but for me, that path is concrete and I will see to it that, with a UPenn College education, I benefit society with my understanding of the sciences.