Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by ranin
Name: ranin abdallah
Joined: Oct 25, 2013
Last Post: Dec 20, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Palestina
School: latian school

Displayed posts: 4
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ranin   
Nov 6, 2013
Essays / god gives my country a fashion dress; describe a spring -Need Help [3]

that was a title that teacher give it to us in the class to write an essay , in two line , but I get a low mark and I still didn't know why !

Every year in some seasons , god gives my country a fashion dress , dropping in it many bottles of perfume that making your nostril dance . the sound of nature could mummer to your ears easly . the tress were green as they could be , and the branches were swam like in the sea , the flowers are sitting everywhere you can hear them gossiping here and there

please wait your advice to tell me where I have wrong and comments to can improve myself and pleas if you can give me some sites or anythings could help my writing :(

Thanks !
ranin   
Dec 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / BENEFITS OF READING [6]

it seems good and have many ideas but I think if you make it in more one paragraph :)
ranin   
Dec 20, 2013
Undergraduate / Hydrophobia; College of William and Mary ; optional opportunity [5]

I like your essay. However, I feel like you should organize your sentence structure in your last few concluding sentences. Maybe like this: "I can swim pretty well now and I can proudly say that I conquered my fear. Now, I am moving towards the quest of conquering the world
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