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Posts by Safa Abulhail
Name: Safa Abulhail
Joined: Nov 16, 2013
Last Post: Nov 16, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Qatar
School: Al-Nahrain medical college

Displayed posts: 2
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Safa Abulhail   
Nov 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / Increasing population required many energy sources to meet what people need [2]

Hello every one,

please, this is my essay and i need some notes about it, if it's good enough to preparing me to do IELTS exam?

In general increasing population required many energy sources to meet what they need, governmental efforts should be drive to make a balance between the environment and the humankind. but in the meantime whether this efforts may damage the planet or serving the environment from the global warming.

to begin with, there are many issue to reduce the burning of energy generation, such as recycling rubbish as an alternative source of energy which reduce the wastes and air pollution from Combustion processes and burial and thereby protect the environment from the damage. moreover, the recycling rubbish useful to recycle the material and reused in many purposes. that's to say to be used in electricity generation or utilized as Composting for agricultural land as well as to recycle glazier and paper.

however, as a result these alternative has side effects as the recycling required large costs to be progressed and payments for large numbers of workers. meanwhile, this kind of sources produce material with low quality and many of these maybe harmful for health, so it's important to pay attention to which type of waste should not recycle or this may increased the extent of damages.

In sum, it's important that the government should make efforts for survival of the humankind and the environment. overall, from the point of my view is to driven this effort correctly to decrease the obstacles which appear and to make an equilibrium to serve the individual first and the community second.
Safa Abulhail   
Nov 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / Cinema was born in 1895 [2]

It's good essay and the best thing you chose many example
but i think it need more linking word
and make it 4 paragraphs:

1. introduction of what are you going to say in general
2.report a positive case and make examples,evidence and use linking word such as : in the meantime, moreover, for instance...ect
3.the other side of the subject , beginning with: however, on the other hand (as you used it already), admittedly, while...ect
4. conclusion and giving your opinion : you should use :finally, in sum, overall...ect.

and then it will be great :)
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