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Increasing population required many energy sources to meet what people need


Safa Abulhail 1 / 1  
Nov 16, 2013   #1
Hello every one,

please, this is my essay and i need some notes about it, if it's good enough to preparing me to do IELTS exam?

In general increasing population required many energy sources to meet what they need, governmental efforts should be drive to make a balance between the environment and the humankind. but in the meantime whether this efforts may damage the planet or serving the environment from the global warming.

to begin with, there are many issue to reduce the burning of energy generation, such as recycling rubbish as an alternative source of energy which reduce the wastes and air pollution from Combustion processes and burial and thereby protect the environment from the damage. moreover, the recycling rubbish useful to recycle the material and reused in many purposes. that's to say to be used in electricity generation or utilized as Composting for agricultural land as well as to recycle glazier and paper.

however, as a result these alternative has side effects as the recycling required large costs to be progressed and payments for large numbers of workers. meanwhile, this kind of sources produce material with low quality and many of these maybe harmful for health, so it's important to pay attention to which type of waste should not recycle or this may increased the extent of damages.

In sum, it's important that the government should make efforts for survival of the humankind and the environment. overall, from the point of my view is to driven this effort correctly to decrease the obstacles which appear and to make an equilibrium to serve the individual first and the community second.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Nov 18, 2013   #2
You had better provide us with the full prompt of the essay. Also, you have to revise your grammar carefully to have the best preparation for your actual test. I can see many grammatical mistakes in your essay :(

increasing population required many energy sources to meet what they need

It is true that population growth has put immense pressure on natural resources

governmental efforts should be drive to make a balance between the environment and the humankind

You could start a new sentence from here and this could be used as your thesis statement
-> In my opinion, while using alternative sources of energy will be a good solution, this measure can bring some disadvantages.

many issue

many issues

burning of energy generation

the strain on available natural resources


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