Undergraduate / My Mechanical Engineering World; UC - World I come from [10]

Hello~ My friends~ Could you help me to correct grammar mistakes and give me some advice for this essay?
Thank you verrrrrry much! I am not a native speaker so I would make some ludicrous mistakes TAT
This is my first time to use this forum~ I would like to help others when I have free time and I would really appreciate if you can give me some help~

p.s this essay seems to be a little bit long (should be 550 words around), could you tell me which sentence I could cut?

UC#1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My world since childhood has been full of mysteries due to my interest and curiosity in science. It may be resulted from my family background: my father is civil engineer, and my mother studied materials engineering at her college, and my grandma and grandpa were electric engineers.My parents always said that I was a tomboy because I never did those things like a typical girls did in childhood. I played with toy cars and talked about the structure of cars with boys, competed on designing paper planes and I designed ten kinds of planes which were used for different purposes, such as for flying straightly or upward, rotating or flying back to the origin. I also fell in love with sudoku and jigsaw puzzles. I enjoyed the joy of fulfillment when I finished a number in latin square or found out the next piece of puzzles from thousands pieces.

When I showed the tendency to learning science and creating things, my parents did not show too much surprises, but provided much space and support for me. On my 8th birthday, my parents gave me a set of chemistry experimental equipment, Then my room became my personal chemical laboratory. In my spare time, I indulged myself in exciting experiments and pursued more knowledge through internet when my parents and teachers could not answer my questions. By using electric soldering iron and zinc rod, I made a radio from PCB(Printed circuit board), and various electronic components for my grandma at the age of twelve. At that time, my radio could only receive five channels, but it was an unprecedented success for me. The ability to create a useful device from seemly unrelated and scatter parts really satisfied my desire and brought me a sense of satisfaction. I realized that I could turn only an idea into a real action by combing science knowledge with practical ability.

As I grew up, my passion for science and physics has been increased. Every time I saw a complicated device or machine, my brain always instinctively goes to work thinking about what would its mechanics and internal structure be. Under the influence of Mr. Walden, my AP physics teacher, I was fascinated by the complexity of engine, especially the idea of the internal combustion engine and reaction engine. With my teacher's suggestion, I attended a Science and Technology Festival and sketched the rough draft to make water and solid rockets. When a PVC tube, a package of glucose, a box of Potassium nitrate were turned into a real rocket by myself, I was so excited. Also, in order to make sure the accuracy and success of each launch, I learned to use CAD to design my 3-D and 2-D rocket model and analyzed my previous trials and predicted the next flight. But I was not satisfied by the success of launching my normal candy rocket. In order to achieve high-efficient fuel for rocket, I mixed different ingredients such as rust, zinc and even honey into fuel to test their effect. I enjoyed the process of refining and improving my product and gained the sense of fulfillment after every progress. I regarded every product as my child and consider every failure as a chance of development.

At the point of applying to college, I desire to walk into a bigger world of science and engineering. In my opinion, engineering is not only a broad discipline which I can apply maths and physics into real problems, but also an attitude of perseverance and passion. It has been my dreams and aspirations since childhood to be an engineer who can make a difference, who can facilitate human beings and benefit the world and human life in a direct way. For me,mechanical engineering = passion + perseverance + hard working + determination to benefit the world.

Undergraduate / Lafayette college - My work experience in my school TV station [3]

There's a difference between being busy and being engaged. Lafayette comes alive each day with the energy of students who are deeply engaged in their academic, co-curricular and extracurricular explorations. In response to the second prompt, keep it simple - choose one activity and add depth to our understanding of your involvement.

What do you do? Why do you do it? (20-200 words)

I had been working in my school media center for three years. I enjoyed every challenging minute there. Since the broadcast began at exact time on every Thursday, as the technique director, I had a very tight schedule. Every week, I kept my mind highly active and creative, thinking out-of-box and making various new attempts, in a purpose to come up with high-leveled and appealing programs efficiently.

Later I was chosen to become the leading producer. Still working behind the scenes, I once admired hosts who seemed to have all attentions and appreciations; however, through the three years in the media center, I now realized the pride to be a backstage worker, where I had my interest-designing and creating good films and programs-fulfilled. Most importantly, the desire of betterment ever kept me improving constantly and creatively, and working hard perseveringly. Also, when working in a team, I learnt to be responsible for the whole team. I always remember the most contented moment when a film was born and the audience applaud for my product genuinely. As a backstage worker, I was fully engaged during my challenging but rewarding work time in the media center.

Thanks in advanced!
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