kylelanning
Apr 27, 2009
Writing Feedback / Persuasive essay (Lithium based batteries>Nickel based batteries) [33]
Hello, I need some help on an introductory paragraph for a persuasive essay i am constructing for a 10th grade english course. Every time i feel as if i have something right or perfect, i always seem to obtain low grades on essays that i write. I am a very mathematically-minded person and when i am not able to activly veiw a grading rubric, i am usually unable to formulate somthing that can acheive a high grade.
here is my introductory statement paragraph
Batteries are essential to utilizing many modern electrical devices, and the chemistry within a cell is often taken for granted, therefore lithium-based batteries must be embraced as a newer, better battery chemistry. The focus of research and technical advancement of lithium-based cells should be priority compared to nickel-based cells due to the evident advantages that the lithium-based cells hold. Though both nickel based batteries and lithium based batteries supply a sufficient amount of electrical power for a variety of electrical devices, the advantages of lithium-based technology greatly outweigh that of nickel-based cells in terms of capacity, energy density, cycle amount, internal resistance and effective discharge rates. Because of the multiple advantages lithium technology offers, it is simply illogical to continue with the production and advancement of nickel-based cells. Although the major advantages lithium batteries hold, the technology is not mainstream as nickel-based cells are. The objective of this paper will be to encourage the widespread development and utilization of a new technology. With the advancement and proactive research toward said batteries, mobile electronics will be able to evolve and benefit mankind indefinitely. By interpreting hard data and in-depth information on a variety of battery chemistries, one will most likely be able to determine the immense advantage lithium based batteries have over nickel based batteries.
The possibilities of portable electronics is infinite, but only with strenuous advancements toward newer power technologies. Imagine smaller, lighter, longer lasting laptops, cell phones that may last weeks or even months per charge. Imagine clean, environmentally conscious vehicles that can meet the demands that only internal combustion engines where capable of. Imagine having cordless tools that are not only lightweight but powerful and seemingly everlasting. Imagine not having to worry about charge or discharge rates. Where lithium cells exceed, nickel-based cells are struggling to perform to minimum standards.
Within layman's terms, "energy density" is simply the amount of work (in the form of electrical energy) per an allotted time per weight of a voltaic cell (Buchmann 1 BU5A). The amount of work is measured in watts, which is the standard scientific unit for measuring the effective amount of said work that is produced (Merriam-Webster 1). The standard equation for energy density is simply: energy density equals watt-hours divided by kilograms. Statistics show that lithium polymer batteries obtain an energy density between the average ranges of approximately one-hundred and ten to one-hundred and seventy watt/hours per kilogram (Buchmann 1 BU5A, see index fig. 1). Nickel based cells, on the other hand, produce approximately only seventy to ninety watt/hours per kilogram (Ibid). Why is energy density important? It shows the amount of energy per weight that a voltaic cell (a battery) can produce. Why is that important? Well, a larger amount of watt/hours per kilogram means that more energy can be obtained from a battery at a steady rate for a longer period of time within a certain mass (Battery Energy - What battery provides more? 1). An increased output within a lower mass allows lithium batteries to provide the same amount of energy, as say a nickel-based cell, with a substantial decrease in mass. Again, why is this important? Well, batteries are generally used when AC current (i.e., an outlet) is either uneconomical or inaccessible. This generally means that a battery operated device must be transported, so a light battery that can achieve sufficient power has the ability to be utilized. Electric cars, for example, can benefit from lighter cell technology in order to directly increase efficiency by means of decreased inertia.
If you guys have any suggestions to improve my writing, i will take any advice that is offered and i will strive to grow.
Thanks a million guys
-Kyle
(The assignment is to provide a 5 page persuasive/research essay on a certain topic that states hard evidense to support the certain cause, not anecdotal evidense)
Edit: my last 5 minutes or so has gone into some more
Batteries are essential to utilizing many modern electrical devices, and the chemistry within a cell is often taken for granted. The focus of research and technical advancement of lithium based cells should be priority compared to nickel based cells due to the evident advantages that the lithium based cells hold.
Yay? nay?
Hello, I need some help on an introductory paragraph for a persuasive essay i am constructing for a 10th grade english course. Every time i feel as if i have something right or perfect, i always seem to obtain low grades on essays that i write. I am a very mathematically-minded person and when i am not able to activly veiw a grading rubric, i am usually unable to formulate somthing that can acheive a high grade.
here is my introductory statement paragraph
Batteries are essential to utilizing many modern electrical devices, and the chemistry within a cell is often taken for granted, therefore lithium-based batteries must be embraced as a newer, better battery chemistry. The focus of research and technical advancement of lithium-based cells should be priority compared to nickel-based cells due to the evident advantages that the lithium-based cells hold. Though both nickel based batteries and lithium based batteries supply a sufficient amount of electrical power for a variety of electrical devices, the advantages of lithium-based technology greatly outweigh that of nickel-based cells in terms of capacity, energy density, cycle amount, internal resistance and effective discharge rates. Because of the multiple advantages lithium technology offers, it is simply illogical to continue with the production and advancement of nickel-based cells. Although the major advantages lithium batteries hold, the technology is not mainstream as nickel-based cells are. The objective of this paper will be to encourage the widespread development and utilization of a new technology. With the advancement and proactive research toward said batteries, mobile electronics will be able to evolve and benefit mankind indefinitely. By interpreting hard data and in-depth information on a variety of battery chemistries, one will most likely be able to determine the immense advantage lithium based batteries have over nickel based batteries.
The possibilities of portable electronics is infinite, but only with strenuous advancements toward newer power technologies. Imagine smaller, lighter, longer lasting laptops, cell phones that may last weeks or even months per charge. Imagine clean, environmentally conscious vehicles that can meet the demands that only internal combustion engines where capable of. Imagine having cordless tools that are not only lightweight but powerful and seemingly everlasting. Imagine not having to worry about charge or discharge rates. Where lithium cells exceed, nickel-based cells are struggling to perform to minimum standards.
Within layman's terms, "energy density" is simply the amount of work (in the form of electrical energy) per an allotted time per weight of a voltaic cell (Buchmann 1 BU5A). The amount of work is measured in watts, which is the standard scientific unit for measuring the effective amount of said work that is produced (Merriam-Webster 1). The standard equation for energy density is simply: energy density equals watt-hours divided by kilograms. Statistics show that lithium polymer batteries obtain an energy density between the average ranges of approximately one-hundred and ten to one-hundred and seventy watt/hours per kilogram (Buchmann 1 BU5A, see index fig. 1). Nickel based cells, on the other hand, produce approximately only seventy to ninety watt/hours per kilogram (Ibid). Why is energy density important? It shows the amount of energy per weight that a voltaic cell (a battery) can produce. Why is that important? Well, a larger amount of watt/hours per kilogram means that more energy can be obtained from a battery at a steady rate for a longer period of time within a certain mass (Battery Energy - What battery provides more? 1). An increased output within a lower mass allows lithium batteries to provide the same amount of energy, as say a nickel-based cell, with a substantial decrease in mass. Again, why is this important? Well, batteries are generally used when AC current (i.e., an outlet) is either uneconomical or inaccessible. This generally means that a battery operated device must be transported, so a light battery that can achieve sufficient power has the ability to be utilized. Electric cars, for example, can benefit from lighter cell technology in order to directly increase efficiency by means of decreased inertia.
If you guys have any suggestions to improve my writing, i will take any advice that is offered and i will strive to grow.
Thanks a million guys
-Kyle
(The assignment is to provide a 5 page persuasive/research essay on a certain topic that states hard evidense to support the certain cause, not anecdotal evidense)
Edit: my last 5 minutes or so has gone into some more
Batteries are essential to utilizing many modern electrical devices, and the chemistry within a cell is often taken for granted. The focus of research and technical advancement of lithium based cells should be priority compared to nickel based cells due to the evident advantages that the lithium based cells hold.
Yay? nay?