Undergraduate / Simplicity. Columbia Supp, Past experiences that attract you to a field of study [4]

I really like it! It is a unique way to express an interest in writing. However, something I would suggest is that in the beginning you specify who is talking. B/c it took me a bit to figure out that you were the one selling the chocolate, not buying it.

Undergraduate / Recount a Failure -- "Always Try" - common app [3]

worriedjuan123
Its really good, I like it a lot and it shows a lot about your personality and how you have changed.
Just two things:
"This semester I would be taking" ---> I'd change it to "I am taking"
"hybris" ---> did you mean hubris?

Undergraduate / I have been vexed... WHY YALE SUPPLEMENT: Cultural diversity [3]

how about if you discuss something you're particularly interested in studying, and how Yale can help you do that.

Undergraduate / Everyone Hates Me - common app Prompt 1 (Background) [3]

I feel like there's two messages in your essay, rather than a running theme. First, what I'm getting is your dedication to your religion. Then you talk about your high school experience and the things it taught you. Try to make an individual point more clear throughout the whole essay. Also, I know this isn't your intention, but your writing about religion comes off as a bit preachy. This could be a problem because the admissions officer reading your essay may not come from the same background and may disagree, whereas if you are more objective about it then it just shows that you're proud of your background and beliefs but not focused on promoting others to believe what you do.

Otherwise, its a great essay!