Writing Feedback / AP English class, We need to write a 300-400 essay on WHAT HOME IS? [5]

Hi There!

I attend Townsend Harris Highschool, a humanities school and they teach us english till it becomes second nature to us! So let me help!

I think your paragraph is nice BUT I think there are a few questions (key questions) that you should ask yourself and state in your essay.

First, What is home? Obviously home is not absolute but rather relative. It's always good to add your own opinion, so... what is home to you? I know that your physically house may not always be a home to you. To many of my friends, school is home. The basketball court could be your home. Being in the arms of one you love, can be home.

Well, after you decided on what home is to you..
You need to decide on what are the qualities of "home"?
We consistently repeat belaborously: "home sweet home!"
I think this is a good quote to start off with by the way.
Also, a great way to not only earn brownie points from your teacher, but also have fun and connect in your essay is to include examples in literature.

For example: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn- Huck obviously doesn't find his real home a home to him. He finds his comfort zone in nature. (and then give examples or further explanation)

This really seems like an interesting topic! Please let me know how your writing turns out!

Undergraduate / "What is your personal definition of Diversity?" Popcorn, People [4]

Hey!
I think it's better if you add your own experiences with diversity in everyday life and in your reading of literature!
Also, add your comments on why diversity is important based on your examples.
Ex:
New York City is the most culturally diverse location that I have ever lived in. Grant, it is crowded and aversive yet, I find that the diversity can be viewed in many positive aspects. With so many cultures together, we learn to accept others for who they are and hope to assimilate. This is very important because we as humans naturally wish to segregate as seen in history with slavery and segregation. Thus, the rich diversity can allow for peace among masses of people... etc

!
I hope this helps!