Undergraduate / I had just moved to Canada a few weeks ago; How you overcame a challenge... [5]

I'm 13 words over the word limit (200 words). Please edit my essay in whatever way you think is best and cut it down to 200.
Does my essay answer the question and flow smoothly ? Any advice/comment is welcome.
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Explain how you responded to a significant challenge that you have encountered and what you learned in the process.

I had just moved to Canada a few weeks ago. But soon enough I started to miss my family, my friends and all the things I used to do back home.

I found myself in the midst of unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar land. Their lifestyle was so different than mine. I felt angry and confused. I lost my appetite and found myself unable to concentrate. I was going through a cultural shock !

I knew I had to do something. Instead of shunning myself from this new life, I decided to embrace it whole-heartedly. I learnt about Canadian history, arts, politics and tried to figure out why Canadians acted the way they did.

I visited the iconic C.N. Tower, gazed at the majestic Niagara Falls and also tasted maple syrup for the first time. I started playing hockey, went to the Calgary Stampede and came to know what a 'double-double' was at a 'Tim Hortons'.

Along the way I met new people, made new friends and built a support system that I could ask for help.

This experience has made me all that appreciative of how rich the Canadian culture really is, and how wonderful Canadians actually are.

It has broadened my horizons and moulded me into the person I am today.

Undergraduate / Fighting a fire in a street market (Groupwork Experience) [3]

Please edit this as you see fit. All comments are welcome.

Describe your most significant group work experience including the role you played and your contributions. (200 words)

It was a hot summer's day in Dhaka. I was at a street market with my friend. The road was jammed with busy traffic and hordes of shoppers trying to get a bargain. On both sides lay street vendors selling just about everything from freshly-cut meat to bright red tomatoes piled high up before them.

Suddenly I heard a scream ! As I looked back, I saw burning flames and a thick cloud of smoke ! It was a fire ! The crowd began to panic. People started to run.

The fire wasn't that big but it was spreading quickly. A small group of people were trying to put out the fire with buckets of water. We quickly joined in with buckets of sand from a nearby construction site. My friend informed the fire service while I consoled this elderly lady who was in shock. The person beside me was providing first-aid to someone who had suffered from minor burns. As I heard the distant siren of fire trucks, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Looking back, I realize that there was no way the fire could've been put out by any single person. Clearly it was a group effort.