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Posts by sapst21
Joined: May 25, 2009
Last Post: Jun 16, 2009
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sapst21   
May 25, 2009
Writing Feedback / WPE --The minimum wage in the U.S. [5]

Please proofreading the following essay. I am an international students, please give me any feedback including mechanices, structures, supporting ideas.. and so forth. I really appreciate you!

The minimum wage in the U.S has been the subject of debate for many years. Many people argue that we shoud be careful about sharp increases in the minimum wage becasue of the resulting inflation and layoffs. Others believe that minimum wage should be raised.

The minimum wage has been a controversial issue for many years in the U.S. Some people argue that the minimum wage should be raised to keep up with the cost of living. However, I believe that we should be careful about sharp increases in the minimum wage because it would cause inflation, raise the unemployment , and it is the matter of the laws of economic.

First, raising the minimum wages would cause inflation. The companies would have lower profit margins due to higher wages. They would increase the cost of goods and services produced with low-wage labor in order to make up their profit. It will affect the whole economic.

Second, increasing the minimum wages would simply increase unemployment, and make it difficult for some companies to stay in business.
Employers, who cannot afford the higher wage, would have to reduce the number of employees, particularly those with few skills who need these jobs to break into the labor force. It ends up hurting those people.

Third, the minimum wage should depend on the laws of economics. The principle of supply and demand should determine wages. If there is an unemployed person who is willing to take a job for $5 per hour, and there is a business owner who has a job for which he can only afford to pay $5 an hour, why should the government make it illegal for them to come to their own terms of employment?

In sum, artificially raising the minimum wage would affect economic negatively. Therefore, we should take careful consideration in increases in the minimum wage.
sapst21   
May 25, 2009
Writing Feedback / WPE --The minimum wage in the U.S. [5]

I appreciate all of you.

EF_Kevin, you told me that I need to add extra sentences in the first paragraph. Did you mean the following paragraph?

The minimum wage has been a controversial issue for many years in the U.S. Some people argue that the minimum wage should be raised to keep up with the cost of living. However, I believe that we should be careful about sharp increases in the minimum wage because it would cause inflation, raise the unemployment , and it is the matter of the laws of economic.

Because I think I need to add more supporting sentences for second paragrape but I could not come up with any idea to support theise sentences... :(

I added some thoughtful reflection into the last paragraph as your advice.
How about this?

Raising the minimum wage might be a good idea for increases in the standard of living for the poorest in our society. However, artificially raising the minimum wage would affect those people, employers, and economiy negatively. Therefore, we should take careful consideration in increases in the minimum wage.

I feel shameful to upload my poor writing, but your help would be great for me.
Thank you so much
sapst21   
Jun 16, 2009
Writing Feedback / Narrative essay- important decision for CBEST Pormpt [2]

Please give me any feedback(grammatical errors, sturcture, usuage...) Thank you all~!

Descrive a particular time in your life wehn you had difficulty making an important decision. Identify the situation and explain whether you were able to resolve the problem. If it was resolved, how? If not, why not-what happened?

We have come across many decisions that we have to make walking on the road of life. Some decisions might be easy to decide, but others might be difficult to make because it would change one's life in many aspects. One such decision that falls into the latter category is the marriage. The marriage is one of the difficult decisions because it is the matter that two people who grew up in the different backgrounds, and have different viewpoints live together in later their life. As for me, however, I had another reason which made me feel difficult to decide the marriage besides the reason mentioned above. That was the matter of decision of which country I would live.

The first time that I met my current husband was when I went to Los Angeles from China for studying English. He was also a student there and we felt in love at the first sight. After I finished my studying and went back to China, we continued relationship as a lover apart from each other for 10 years. In 2006, my husband proposed me, and I faced the difficult choice that I had ever made.

The decision that I marry him was not difficult one because we got through many things together for 10 years, and built true love and trust, being apart from each other though. However, since he lives and works in the U.S, I was required to decide the immigration into the U.S. for living together. It was the tough decision because I had to give up many important and meaningful things in my life such as sharing my time with my family members, and close friends, as well as my stable career in China. In addition, I was also afraid to live in other country because of the language barrier, and cultural differences. However, I finally decided to get marry him and move to the U.S. because I did not want to break up with him.

At the first time when I moved to here, it was hard time for me living in new country as I expected. However, after times go by, I am getting accustomed to new life, making various friends, enjoying more relaxed and comfortable life compared to very busy and hectic life in Korea. Most of all, I finally found out the way to become a teacher at public school which is my long-cherished dream, but I could not realize it in China. Although I sometimes miss my family members, I am now satisfied with my new life living with my lovely husband, being with new friends, and making an effort to come true my dream.
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