Posts by Umair Bandhani

Umair Bandhani

Apr 17, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS - "India Takes Pole Position" - FII Flow to Emerging Markets [6]

Please note that I have observed few grammatical mistakes in your writing that needs to be corrected. Further, I think that you should cover the whole details of the question in your writing, for e.g., you have specified India's current allocation and long term average of BRIC, but the rest is missing.

Further, I believe that you should work on your conclusion part as well, to make it more comprehensive and attractive.

Umair Bandhani

Apr 18, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS: people should create a sense of co-operation in their children [6]

Question) Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Answer) It is undeniable that children have an innocent mind, and they requires a proper guidance at a specific time to make them understand the value of life. Some people think that it is better to make them competitive, while other believes to make them co-operative. Both these factors have their own values, and have been discussed in detail below:

Competitive children are more likely to be confident enough to handle the situations independently. This factor initially arises from the school, where teacher encourages student to feel more competitive through the grading system, and this is the place where children are trying to get on the top by scoring the highest marks. This factor will lead them to be successful in their lives ahead, but will also restrict them in many ways. For example, MNCs are mainly focusing on a team work, and a person with the competitive mind would be having a difficulty in managing the situation with the team.

However, those who wants to create a sense of co-operation in their children is a symbol that they want to make them sensible enough in their lives ahead. Although, they will not be having a pace and an eager to get on the top as the competitors do, but they shall have an art of managing different situations of life with the help of a team.

In my opinion, though competitive children will be far more clever and faster than the co-operative child in an initial level, but it will not help them to be on the success path for the long run; while on the contrary, co-operative child will have a potential of structuring and implementing new and innovative ideas with the help of a team.

To conclude, I would say that people should create a sense of co-operation in their children to make them feel more accomplished in life.