Posts by bayratak

bayratak

Sep 29, 2014

Writing Feedback / Overall, it's clear that the unemployment rate in the US dropped from 7% to around 5% (1993 - 1999) [3]

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

You should write at least 150 words.

The line chart compares the level of unemployment in the US and Japan over a period of 6 years.

Overall, it's clear that the unemployment rate in the US dropped from 7% to around 5% between 1993 and 1999 while the ratio of Japanese people in workforce but without an employment to all workfoce doubled during the same period.

. According to the chart, there was a decrease in unemployment figure by around 1,5% in the US during March 1993 and March 1996. Despite the plateau periods between 1994 and 1995, the rate of unemployment rose from 2,5% to over 4% over a period of 3 years.

On the other hand, there was a significant decrease in the percentage of unemployed people in the US between 1996 abd 1988 by %1 and thereafter, the figure stood over %4.75 during the following years. Over the same period, the level of unemployment increased from well over 4% to %5 in Japan even though the figure tended to decrease slightly in 1996 and 1998.

Word Count:171

Dear community, thank you for feedbacks.

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bayratak

Sep 30, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Young people are not fit for key roles until they are well-trained and mature enough [5]

To begin with, those who are in favor of allowing young government staff in higher-level positions might think young talent can speed up the process of the government's digital system reform, as the trend for the huge demanding on high technology in governing the country is inevitable. At this point, younger employees are usually well educated and have a solid academic background in a specific field, which enables them to perform better than their older counterparts when employing computer related facilities. In addition, young adults are known as creative and adventurous, so they are not afraid to break the pattern. On the other hand, while older employees are struggling to cope with the work-life balance; younger officials could devote more time and energy to public services, because they are often without children or even partners.

Good structure!

bayratak

Sep 30, 2014

Writing Feedback / It's certainly true that happiness is an essential component of every human life - IELTS [5]

Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?

It's certainly true that happiness is an essential component of every human life. However, I believe that finding a definition of happiness is not an easy task and there are many factors to consider on the way to achieve happiness.

It seems to me that every individual has a unique set of characteristics and therefore, a different opinion of life. For that reason, generalizations about life and happiness can not be valid for everyone. For example, while a materialistic person can consider an expensive gift as a reason to be happy, same gift can be interpreted in a negative way. Furthermore, in my opinion, the life itself is not a stable organism so that definitions are always subject to change with changing opinions of individuals which can come with age, education, or new social situations.

On the other hand, plenty of reasons play an important role to obtain happiness. Firstly, I believe that health is the primary factor to sustain before seeking happiness because in my view, there is no room for joy without a healthy life. Secondly, certain survival needs such as shelter and food must be met for someone to be happy. Lastly, one should have a close social environment to share his happiness. In other words, happiness to be not shared is not a happiness.

In conclusion, even though it's difficult to make a clear definition of happiness due to changing characteristics of the life and there are many factors can affect people's happiness, it's clear that every individual needs happiness in life.

Word Count: 256

Thank you for all feedbacks and possible band scores!

bayratak

Sep 30, 2014

Writing Feedback / It's certainly true that happiness is an essential component of every human life - IELTS [5]

Thank you so much for the feedbacks and comments!
:)

bayratak

Oct 7, 2014

Writing Feedback / It's certainly true that happiness is an essential component of every human life - IELTS [5]

Thank you for the feedback Vns9x!

If I have time during the exam, I will add some more examples like you said but unfortunately given time is not enough always.

bayratak

Oct 7, 2014

Graduate / 'great opportunity for me to develop my career goal' - Motivation Letter For Master of Philosophy [2]

Tough Economic times call for increased efficiency and better organization in all types of institutions, especially in the public sector as well as the private sector.In order to do this, there is the need to understand the content of public policy as well as its impact upon society,hence, the need to study the interactions between actors and structures; the organization of governance and its effects at various levels. In developing countries of which my own country, Ghana is no exception, funds are less and resources are very scare , therefore there is the need for professionals who are analytical and individuals who understand how to steer an organization through uncertain times, since the country is striving to address particular needs and issues, communicating the causes of problems to the public.To this end, I appreciate this opportunity to apply for Masters of Philosophy in Public Administration at the University of xxx as I believe the programme will help me lead, research and analyse policies, solve problems and improve efficiency in organizations, institutions and different levels of government.

I graduated from the University of Ghana in 2012, with a major in Political Science and a minor in Linguistics. Within academics, I challenged myself to succeed as much as I have been able, in efforts to better myself both as a student and an individual. I graduated with a First Class honour with a GPA of 3,67.Outside the classroom, I was interested in Politics which I put to practice in University. through extra curricular and political leadership. In my third year atUniversity, I was elected the organizing secretary of my department and several of high positions in other students' organizations, including being elected captain of the hockey team in my Hall of residence. My work in the end proved extremely rewarding, earning high esteem from my department and peers.

My main career goal is to become a Researcher and Policy analyst in a Public sector, Local government or Non-profit organization which operates with fewer funds and in a constricted environment in striving to attract financial support in order to carry out its intended projects. I believe that development in developing countries can be accelerated through efficient and effective management of scares resources. I hope to come up with a sensational thesis which will adapt to the world of Administration.

I consider myself a leader and a hardworking fellow. I am very ambitious about the ideas I have and I am working very hard to realize them. With motivation, hard work, discipline, willingness and passion to learn. I have no doubt that if am offered a place at the University of xxxx to pursue a Master of Philosophy in Public Administration, it will serve a great opportunity for me to develop my career goal.

Some grammer mistakes to be corrected, well done.. best of luck with your application!