Posts by rubz

rubz_girl23

Oct 7, 2014

Writing Feedback / Upward trend in the national and international call lines and the # of minutes in the mobile calls [2]

The bar graph elucidates information on the telephone minutes call (in millions) in the UK, which is divided into three categories-local, national and international fixed line and mobiles over the 7 year period between 1995 to 2002.

An overall impression reveals that there has been an upward trend in the national and international call lines and the number of minutes in the mobile calls, whereas the local call lines indicated a gradual decline throughout the time period.

Looking the graph in more details, the period between 1995 and 1998 saw a dramatic grown in the minutes of call in the UK. It reached a peak of 90 in 1999 but considerably fell to a low of 70. In contrast, national and international fixed line experienced a relatively slow increase from 1995 to 2002, while mobile phone calls rose significantly during the 7 year period. It peaked at close to 60 at the end of the year.

It is interesting to note that although local fixed line commence the highest figure that the two other classes, it adopted the same figure in 2002 approximately around 70-71.

table.jpg

rubz_girl23

Oct 7, 2014

Writing Feedback / A Revolutionary Mindset; cultural and political characteristics of revolutionary America [2]

The peoples of America have always been diverse. Our colonial settlers came from many different backgrounds, for various reasons, and this diversity lead to a melting pot of values, ideas, customs, and tolerances. Still, through this jumble of personalities, some distinctly American characteristics shone through. At no time were Americans ever, or since, more distinctly American than in the times leading up to and during the American Revolution(It should be capital letter because its a proper noun).

In his Essay "The Way to Wealth" he includes many quotable(it should be in singular form) , most of which can be paraphrased down to "hard work is the way to wealthy."

His book Common Sense was a bestseller and on the tip of everyone's tongue in 1776.

Hope you'll learn from it...God bless us...

rubz_girl23

Oct 7, 2014

Writing Feedback / Teachers should not instill their social or political points to students. [2]

~~That is to say, teachers' points as an access for students to discussing mor~~ e social and political issues. It should be Teachers point an access to students in discussing more social and political issues

At the same time, it trains students' ability ~~of organizating their ideas~~in organizing their ideas

In contrast, there is a common opinion that ~~students can learn form teachers' perspeatives~~ students can learn from teachers perspective

~~Because teacher~~ should provide opportunity for students to contemplate on their own and improve their critical thinking. You can say: Teacher should provide opportunity for students to contemplate on their own and improve their critical thinking.

Proper spelling should be established...
Check grammar, use linking words correctly..
God bless us

rubz_girl23

Oct 7, 2014

Writing Feedback / "Hey my son Military writ came for you" - should national service be mandatory for young adults? [4]

Proper paragraphing should be established...

rubz_girl23

Oct 7, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Cinema viewers in the four various countries: India, Ireland, New Zealand and Japan [3]

The table chart elucidates information on the cinema viewers for films by the four various countries-India, Ireland, and New Zealand and Japan-in millions.
An overall impression reveals that there has been a different trend for watchers of film by country while figures showed that the majority of viewers come from India as well as made up the largest amount of millions shared in all cinema genres throughout the time period.

The numbers of cinema enthusiast in India depict the highest proportion (8 million) in action film. Whereas Japan, Ireland and New Zealand slightly have a steady rise up to 7.1 to 7.6 respectively. On the contrary, romance films become the next popular genre wherein it escalated up to 7.5 for Indians while other countries shared solely 3.8 to 4.5. However, India still maintains its place as the number one viewer for comedy cinema films with 6.5 wherein New Zealand illustrates the lowest. Consequently, Ireland devotes more in watching horror films than other countries.

It's interesting to note that Indians remained the number one film viewers in all the genre except watching horror films.

Put the band score pls...

rrrr4.jpg