Undergraduate / 'Super Mario and neuroscience' - UVA Supplement essay for College of Arts and Science! [7]

Thank you for reviewing my essay! Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Prompt- What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?

It was late at night and my family was watching the news. As usual, I sat on the sofa concerned about how I could conquer the next level in Super Mario. I rarely worried myself with the perplexing world of grown-ups; but this time, it was different. After the usual news report, a sixty-minute program was featured focusing on the latest discoveries in neuroscience. Being deeply passionate and enthusiastic about science, I quickly directed my attention to the TV. For the first time, I felt how it is like to be in love. I was not only captivated by the beauty and complexity of the brain, but also stimulated by the challenging idea that human perception is an amalgamation of visual and auditory information.

I believed that our understanding of our environment is only visual-based. Hearing that auditory information was equally important was unsettling, but yet gave me the motivation to explore the topic. I read The Tell-Tale Brain written by neuroscientist V. S. Ramachandran, which further substantiated the claim made in the program. To reach an accurate understanding, I decided to conduct an experiment myself. With the help of my psychology teacher, I designed an experiment to test human perception. The results refuted my view and I finally had sufficient proof to correct my mistaken belief. The process of designing the experiment, as a whole, marked perhaps the best moments of my life. By the end of this project, I had discovered my innermost desire, which is studying and conducting research in neuroscience.

Undergraduate / "First day of school is tomorrow!" - Common app essay: The story that defines who I am! [3]

Hello! thank you all for taking the time to look over my essay! Just a quick note: I came to the US four years ago without knowing any english and worked very diligently to learn the language. I managed to take AP classes and get straight A's and finish at the top 3% in my classes. The point I want to get across in the essay is that I didn't know any english, but instead of giving up, I worked hard and I LEARNED to always do this when I face an obstacle in life.

Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

"First day of school is tomorrow!" my aunt reminded me as my cousin and I were playing the final round of our billiards game. Although I seemed too distracted, I was well prepared to start my eighth grade in the United States. It was impossible for me not to think about it or eagerly spend hours imagining how the first day would be. For thirteen years, I went to school in my home country, Iran, and attending school in the U.S. marked the beginning of an exciting, yet frightening chapter of my life. I was nervous to make new friends and enter an environment with which I had no familiarity. Moreover, I would stumble upon my illiteracy in the English language, which shattered all my optimistic thoughts.

The fear that accompanied me on the first day of school was inexplicable. First in the morning, I was assigned to go on a campus orientation. Due to my language barrier, I wasn't able to understand a word of what my counselor had mentioned. But then I thought I would catch up in a week or two. Pleased with my finalized schedule, I wandered around the school looking for my health class. By the time I found it, the bell had rung and everyone was seated in the classroom with the teacher already lecturing. As I entered the room hesitantly, he asked for my schedule (at least I interpreted that way by focusing on his gestures rather than his words, which were completely incomprehensible for me). I handed in my schedule hoping that this is the end of our conversation; however, my teacher began asking more questions and this time my language deficiency became apparent. "Why did you decide to take this class?" my teacher asked. "Oh..." I smiled while turning red from the embarrassment that had overcome me. I thought to myself, "the first impression of me is an incompetent, illiterate student and no one will ever want to be friends with me". During class I sat in the very front and my attention was entirely glued to the teacher, yet I understood less than one percent of what he taught. After the first week of school I realized that my English barrier is greatly hindering my success both academically and socially. I began to accept that the way I had envisioned school was just in my dreams. After the first few weeks, I began crying for I was overcome by failure and embarrassment; but I was not going to let either of them determine my success. I vowed to myself that by the end of the year, I would be the top student in all my classes. I felt the need to take responsibility and inform my teachers about my language barrier. I just couldn't see myself fall behind. I did everything to prove that I genuinely wanted to succeed and be the top in the class. I read the textbooks ahead of time to better understand class discussions; I stayed hours after school for extra help; and most importantly, I looked up every word that confused me in order to strengthen my vocabulary. All my efforts paid off. By the second semester, my dependence on a translator had declined greatly and I was able to understand most things discussed in class. I was learning English at an exponential rate and managed to accomplish my goal of becoming the top student in my classes.

By the end of eighth grade, I had realized that life would never be easy. I've learned to face adversity with hard work and determination rather than simply giving up and forgetting that an obstacle hindered my progress. I believe in pursuing the barriers and not letting go until I have completely overcome them. With this attitude, I hope to further my success in the future and thrive at whatever I pursue.