Undergraduate /
Adulthood - a place where I could blossom into the person I wanted to be [4]
For two people who share half of the same genetic makeup, my twin Madi and I couldn't be more different. Madi has always been the outgoing one. In high school, she thrived. She was invited to every party and took part in every social opportunity that presented itself. Friendships were her priority and people loved her. I, on the other hand, focused my time and energy on other interests. It's not to say I didn't have friends, in fact I had quite a few. But rather, I simply felt more comfortable spending my Friday nights at home in my room, engulfed by the characters of a novel rather than by the sweaty teenagers at a party. I didn't care if people loved me or knew my name: I was perfectly content by myself.
But that all changed very quickly.
I woke up that morning to the late afternoon sun streaming through my window. There was a buzz in the air, today was supposed to be a good day - the day we left for our vacation to Cuba. I was sitting at the kitchen table, deciding which collection of books to bring on the trip when I heard my mom and sister arrive home. "We have to talk" are never good words to hear, and this time proved to be no different. There were so many words- too many words- that I vaguely remember hearing. Biopsy. Malignant. Chemo. Cancer. They were all meaningless, everything I needed to know I got from the look in my sister's eyes. The insurmountable fear that exuded from her blue eyes is an image that will be branded in the back of my mind for the rest of my existence. I yearned to break eye contact with her; it hurt more to see the pain in her eyes than it did to hear the word "cancer". However, for some unexplainable reason I couldn't tear my eyes away from hers. Just like that, I had been plucked from my comfortable, little world and dumped on to a vast new planet, one without rules.
The idea that my sister, a person I loved so dearly, could be so easily taken from me shook me to my core, and forced me to question my priorities. It occurred to me that I could have lost her without really getting to know her. Which is tragic, considering we had been womb mates and virtually inseparable since birth.
As she underwent treatment, I found myself spending less time with my nose in a book and more time strengthening and deepening the relationships I had built with others. Books can be a great way to distract ones self from the trials and tribulations of life. However, I now know that this is not a permanent solution. The only way to live in the present is by freeing your self from your past. Moreover, in order to create a future, we must first acknowledge the past and make amends with it. Relationships help with this.
I grew more in that year than I had in the seventeen years I've been on this planet. This experience challenged, tested and pushed me to become more of the person I want to be. I have come to understand that relationships are more important than any item I might posses - they are irreplaceable, invaluable, and forever. Life isn't about the valuables you collect. But rather, it is about the precious moments your share with the ones you love the most. The heroes and heroines of my latest paperback adventures were just not going to cut it anymore. Andrew Murphy, the author, once said, "You are confined only by the walls you build yourself." To me, those walls are personified by my childhood. By breaking down these walls of isolation, I was able to break loose from the comfort of my youth and finally enter into the exciting new world of adulthood.
I changed it alot, do you think this flows better??