Undergraduate / The life of a middle class family is like a roller coaster - my 1st essay for transfer application. [5]

"..from my short work experience.."

"..it has its some terrible moments.."
Try to delete unnecessary words because you take out the focus on the meaning of the sentence.

Punctuation Errors
"After all this being said the life of a middle
class family is like a roller coaster, it has its some terrible moments but ,they always end up
in showing the families a positive attitude towards life. At the same time the peace of mind
of a middle class family has is something no one could buy. "

Letters / awake "like a cucumber" - From Russia with love [5]

I simply love you essay from beginning to end. It describes a lot about you and your culture and it makes me wonder all those traditions and make me want to look them up on the internet. Very good and good luck!

Scholarship / The routine of my family - we are separated from ourselves. Gates Millennium Scholarship Essay [10]

Thank you very much Louisa Mae I'll go back and give me essay a spin, change the tone and make it about me. You made me realize a lot of things.

Scholarship / The routine of my family - we are separated from ourselves. Gates Millennium Scholarship Essay [10]

Is this better?

It is difficult to get home from school and not see your mom waiting for you at the bus stop, nor to smell the delights of her food as you open the door or even worse, not to feel your dad's kisses while you stand in front of him on your tiptoes. Importantly, to a have those influential persons in your life asking you one simple and essential question: How was school? Imagine all of this happening to six children under the age of eighteen.

[...]

Scholarship / The routine of my family - we are separated from ourselves. Gates Millennium Scholarship Essay [10]

Is there anything else you would like to tell us about that may help us evaluate your nomination (i.e., personal characteristics, obstacles you have overcome)?

It is difficult to get home from school and not see your mom waiting for you at the bus stop, nor to smell the delights of her food as you open the door or even worse, not to feel your dad's kisses while you stand in front of him on your tiptoes. Importantly, to not have those influential persons in your life asking you one simple and essential question: How was school? Imagine all of this happening to six children under the age of eighteen.

It was the fall of 2008, I was 11 and was about to get out of school with hopes that my mom would pick me up, but the worst was yet to come. I went home walking by myself, the hours passed and my mother never arrived. We were desperate and it was already past 7 pm. I will never forget those hours of anticipating that call that she was on her way. My mother was detained by agents in the Reynosa-Hidalgo International Bridge, accused of working illegally in the US. They took away her Visa, she signed her deportation and was sent back to Mexico with a sanction of five years. We were devastated by what happened and we were only able to see our father. After that, my parents decided that it was best for us to go to Pharr every morning to go to school and return to Reynosa; they wouldn't allow us to be alone at night. We had no choice. Things even got worse. We were always late to school due to the long lines at the International Bridge and we got sent to court because of our tardiness. One year later, our nightmare had no end in sight. My dad was detained for no apparent reason. The agents told him that he had a lot of linkages here in the United States; when he brings his kids back to Mexico he would give him his Visa back. But why? Don't we have the right to live and study here since we are US citizens?

It felt like my world was coming to an end, my home country took away both of my parents from our tiny defenseless hands. I was determined to go back to Mexico, but my parents never let me. Eventually, this issue was affecting me in every single manner: emotionally, academically and socially.

Not having my parents by my side made me mature and independent. At a really young age, I learned to take care of myself and my brothers, since we were alone in this journey. I was determined to make my parents feel proud of me by showing them that all the sacrifices they have made are not, nor will be in vain. I took classes that nobody would dare to take and make sure that I was taking advantage of every of all the things the school has to offer. In May, I will be graduating under the Distinguished Achievement Plan and Dual Language Program, with an associate's degree, earning a place on the top 7% of my class and with a GPA of 4.0. Thanks to this situation now I have aspirations and expectations of who, what and how I want to be. I want to be an Architectural Engineer and I am sure that with all the devotion I have put into school, I will make it happen and make them feel proud of me. Now, I realize how grateful I am to be given the chance that many people want: fulfill the American Dream.

Even now, my parents are still not allowed to legally cross the United States, but we go visit them every weekend. Despite that, there is no need to feel sorry for me because being considered an immigrant here in the United States coming from Mexico, I am constantly craving for a better future with the strive for higher education. The American Dream is not working on crop fields, but it is studying and building a more comfortable life for your family. I get frustrated whenever I hear my peers proudly shouting that they will go work on labor fields or oil rings after graduating from high school and knowing that they came to this country with the same desires as me, but not having this sense of achieving excellence by already having the keys in their hands. It even frustrates me more knowing the struggles that many of their parents had to go through to raise them here and for them not to take advantage of each opportunity put in front them.

I want and will make my parents proud of me.

Scholarship / The routine of my family - we are separated from ourselves. Gates Millennium Scholarship Essay [10]

ADD pg4/ln2
"To overcome the incidents, I sought refuge in education and I was determined to make my parents feel proud of me by showing them that all the sacrifices they have made are not, nor will be in vain."