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Posts by vahid11
Name: vahid Esp
Joined: Feb 14, 2015
Last Post: Feb 28, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Islamic Republic of Iran
School: University of tehran

Displayed posts: 6
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vahid11   
Feb 14, 2015
Writing Feedback / Each year the university managers allocate the budget among different activities at the school [3]

Should Universities spend equal financial support to social activities as classes and libraries?

Each year the university managers allocate the budget among different activities at the university. Some university managers think that they should spend an important part of these money to improve the quality of the classes and the facilities needed for libraries. In this way, they pay less attention to social activities or sport classes. A Controversial question which often raised regarding this idea is whether they should spend equal financial support to social activities and sports as classes and libraries? In my view social activities and sports are at least as important as classes and libraries so they should receive equal financial support.

First, we should keep this point in mind that one of the most important tasks of a university is to prepare students for their real life. If we care about social activities at universities the students won't face any problem in making friend and making relations with other friends. An educational system is responsible for both educating students and preparing them mentally to act out in a good manner. So, If they consider the social activities and sport as unimportant activities they have not prepared the students mentally well.

Second, if we need a healthy society with fresh mind we should pay attention to social activities and sports at universities. To get a better idea of this issue, suppose that we support classes and libraries at the universities and do not care about social activities or sports. what will happen then is that our students wont have healthy body as a result of not doing enough sport activities and moreover they wont be able to enjoy the atmosphere of the class. So they will have lots of mentally problem that is why we would not have healthy society.

Taking all the affirmations into account show that if we pay less attention to social activities at university we can not expect to have a good society since they are not prepared good enough to act well at the society. In addition paying attention to sport activities at university can make students very healthy in this way they will have a lot of energy to act very well at the society. so that is why I recommend it very seriously to In my view social activities and sports at least are as important as classes and libraries so they should receive equal financial support.
vahid11   
Feb 14, 2015
Writing Feedback / Each year the university managers allocate the budget among different activities at the school [3]

Hello

Thanks for reading my essay.
1. Do you have any suggestion to rephrase this "in this way they will have a lot of energy to act very well at the society.'

2. You mentioned that 'This sentence should be the first one in your introduction.' When I did not speak about the idea and the topic how can I use this sentence at the first line of my essay?

thanks
best
vahid11   
Feb 14, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS: The first diagram exhibits the way the structure produces its electricity [2]

up to down. Notwithstanding, the turbine will still be revolving and making electricity.

The first diagramexhibits the way the structure produces its electricity is by having a wave as the source to create the air.

1. exhibits seems not to be a good word it is better to replace it with 'represents'
2. I think it is not a giagram it is a ' figure '
3. This sentence does not make sense to me In guess there is something wrong with the structuer.
vahid11   
Feb 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / Good friends are as valuable as pearls in life; TOEFL essay [3]

Do you agree or disagree : "Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people "

Good friends are as valuable as pearls in life. I have two close friends at the university which I have known them for more than three years. One of them; Mahdi, is very clever, intelligent, and genius and he is also very kind to me. Although I know him as one of my close friend, I can never truth him since he sometimes tells some lies to me. Conversely, Ali; the other friend of mine, he is not ingenious but I believe in his integrity and honestly so I can always count on him. In my point of view one of the most important considerations in a friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on him, you can have a real hearty relationship and you can count him as friend who indeed have other valuable characteristics needed for a friendship.

One of the most important aspects in a friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on eachother. Suppose you have a close friend who is so kind to you and he is clever too. As you know he may tells lies, you can not believe him. Why is that? You do not know when he tells the truth and when he lies. It is very clear when someone is not honest with you, you can not count on him or her. On the contrary, when someone is honest with you, your relation is beyond friendship, then. For instance, For me, Ali (who is honest to me), is not only my close friend, he is as one of my family members.

Another key point that shows the importance of honesty in a relationship is that it brings in more intimacy among friends. For example when I know that a friend of mine is so truthful to me, I can talk about my problems with him and share idea. You always feel comfort beside a honest person. You will have no doubt about him. Liars are always suspicious of eachother.

Without doubt another evidence that shows telling the truth is the most important factors in a relationship is that honest people have most other essential characteristics for friendship. According to recent researches by scientists, honest people are also among the most kind, sympathetic, and even more creative people.

All in all I have the point that if my friend, Mahdi was honest to me, he was a complete person and turns to one of the best friend I have ever had in my whole life. In this way we could have more intimacy relation and I could rely on him in my whole life.
vahid11   
Feb 28, 2015
Undergraduate / Brown University carries my top choice of major: Development Studies. [3]

Brown University carries my top choice of major
I think "meets " is a better word.
Although it is one of the few top schools to offer my major "that "
Although seems in wrong application it should be "beside " or "not only ... but also "
It is also "Rather it is ..."
ideas to allow me "that or which "
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