ransom2092
Apr 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Evaluation of today's urbanization. Are modern buildings ruin our cities or towns? [4]
Sentence 1, pluralize building. It is buildings. Sentence 2, remove "are" from the sentence. It is unnecessary. Sentence 3, demolishes should be a different word, like devalues. Hideous buildings are not destroying cities, but they can devalue them. The last sentence should not be your opinion about whether cities benefit modern buildings or not. It should introduce the idea that you are going to talk about the pros and cons of having modern buildings in the city. A simple sentence stating that there are many pros and cons to having modern buildings in a city will do, and then you can launch into the body of the essay with a paragraph about the pros and a paragraph about the cons.
Sentence 1, pluralize building. It is buildings. Sentence 2, remove "are" from the sentence. It is unnecessary. Sentence 3, demolishes should be a different word, like devalues. Hideous buildings are not destroying cities, but they can devalue them. The last sentence should not be your opinion about whether cities benefit modern buildings or not. It should introduce the idea that you are going to talk about the pros and cons of having modern buildings in the city. A simple sentence stating that there are many pros and cons to having modern buildings in a city will do, and then you can launch into the body of the essay with a paragraph about the pros and a paragraph about the cons.