Writing Feedback / Enjoyable Job vs Good Salary - it's crutial that a work suit someone's passion [2]

Hello Trias,

Good job on your draft. I have changed the wording in some areas and added minor details. You can feel free to use the working I have used or you can decide to keep it the way you originally wrote it. My corrections are as follows:

An occupation may serve different meanings and purposes to different people. Some people believe that an excessive high salary is the sole reason to apply for and keep a job, while others point out that their happiness at the workplace is far more important than that their salary. Personally, I believe am convinced that anyone can spend a long time at their current job if they are passionate about it.

Some More Advice:

The second objective of this writing assignment states that you must give your own opinion as to whether or not a higher salary or an enjoyable job is more important. You have given your own opinion which is that a person must be passionate about their job, this is great. I think you should incorporate you opinion as a part of one of the two different opinions that you discussed (whether higher pay or enjoying your job is more important) because I get the sense that this is what your instructor might want. It seems like you are leaning towards the second argument which is that enjoying your job is more important. Maybe say something along these lines: It is important to have passion for your job because this will make you happier and will help to improve your work performance. If your work performance improves as a result of your passion for the job this could lead you to obtaining a better salary through promotions, raises and bonuses.

Hope this is the help you were looking for :)

Best,
Kameela A.

Student Talk / How do you define a good writer or a beginner writer? [7]

Everyone is still saying I'm a beginner, even though I have been writing for almost three years. However, I started becoming more careful of my writing last year and have been working on trying to write professionally. How many years should a writer write for them to NOT be considered a beginner anymore?

To answer your question I am going to write a little bit about my personal experience with writing. I started to become serious about my essay writing skills when I was in my senior year of high school. I wanted to be a good writer essay writer when I was in grade 10 but it wasn't until grade 12 when I realized exactly what kind of work ethic it would take for me to become a great writer. I started writing poetry and creative pieces at a young age when I was in elementary school and won a few awards in my school for my writing. From the time I was in grade 6 all the way until my second year of university I always got the same comment given to me from experienced writers and professors: "you have potential". I started to hate it when people would tell me that "I have potential", I wanted to be a good writer not just have the potential to be a good writer. When you calculate how many years I have been working on my writing, you could say it has been 12 years (from grade 6 till now in my fifth year of my undergraduate degree). In all honesty, years and numbers aren't as important but attitude and character is very important in the years it takes you to develop as a great writer. Don't get too caught up in the "how many years will it take me" mindset. Instead, focus on these few concepts:

1) Really get a good handle on writing mechanics and vocabulary (grammar, punctuation, tense, lexicon, etc).

2) Know that you will make mistakes. I still make mistakes even though I can get between an 85-90% on most of my English papers at the undergraduate level. You will always make mistakes, it's what you do with those mistakes that count.

3) Know what your strengths and weakness are as a writer. If you know what your strengths are you can play up on those strengths. If you know what your weaknesses are then you can work to improve them.

4) Have some kind of creativity to be able to write an intriguing passage that will get the attention of the reader. Practice your brainstorming skills because often your creativity will come out in the brainstorming process. I often use a technique called timed-writing to help with creative flow.

5) Know who your readership/audience is and cater your writing style and message to that particular readership/audience.

6) Editing is of utmost importance. A good writer will spend a lot of time editing. Writing is, after all, the art of re-writing.

7) Be willing to take risks and try new writing techniques to expand your skills and style. You might not like writing essays but if you are used to writing creative pieces like poetry and short-stories then try practicing your essay writing skills or writing articles. Trying different writing styles will help to expand your skills but it will also give you an idea of what areas you work well in.

8) Be resilient and patient and always be willing to learn. An important key to becoming a good/professional writer is recognizing that writing involves a never-ending learning experience. If you are passionate about writing you will always find room to improve and this is a good thing. When you look back at your writing from three years ago you are bound to see differences and areas where you have improved. Looking back at old work will give you an idea of how your writing style has changed and what writing skills have improved. If you are not seeing any improvement from your old work then you are doing something wrong or you are not looking at things in the right perspective. Do not get caught up in the "how long will it take me to be a good/professional writer", focus instead on the progress that you have made and accept the fact that becoming a good/excellent writer is a process that will be continual. You should always be learning and improving your writing no matter how comfortable you get with your writing skills.

Cheers,
Kameela Amer

Writing Feedback / Past feminist movements have boosted gender equality in the society also including universities [6]

It is universally recognized that men and women have distinctive mental and physical disparities . For example, men are more ambitious in their work than they are with handling familyrelationshipsresponsibilities . Men are physically stronger than women which is the reasonwhy men are involved in more physically demanding sports compared to female athletes . Women, however, are family-oriented and physically weaker compared to men. Therefore, women are seen as more suitedto family affairs compared to men . Because of the differences between men and women it can be concluded that men and women are suited to different fields of work .

The physical and mental disparities between men and women should not be used as an excuse for sexism. Feminist movements have liberalized so many women out of shackles of the venal convention which in turn has contributed to successful female workers in the workforce and academia . It has granted women with great amour-proper by allowing themthe right to work andstand on their own feetbe independent . The glass ceiling phenomena must be got rid oferadicated in order to provide women a decent life. Yet, I do not think we should rush into the conclusion of indiscriminate gender equality because there are some limits put forth in order to protect womensuch as mining industry . For example, there are limits put forth in the mining industry because it is a dangerous and physically demanding job.

In conclusion, I think that there are certain types of work that are suited to men's characteristics and this should be respected. However, the ideology of gendered work should be cautiously entertained and distinguished from sexism. Guided with an attitude of gender equality, a healthy society can be developed where the talents of both genders are appreciated .

Some More Advice:

You might want to explain what you mean by the phrase "glass ceiling phenomena" in your third paragraph.

In your second paragraph you argue that it is "universally recognized" that men and women have distinctive mental and physical differences. I want to point something out about this argument. Just because something is universally accepted/recognized by a lot of people doesn't mean that it is the correct assumption or information. The universal belief that women and men are inherently different comes from a biological determinist view of gender. The discipline of human biology often presents clear-cut differences between the sexes with regards to chromosomes, genetics, and inheritance. However, while there are obvious physical differences between males and females that develop during puberty, hormonal differences are not absolute which is why biological determinism of gender is flawed. More specifically, there are broad ranges of reproductive anatomy that doesn't fit the "gender definition" or clear-cut divisions of male or female and the existence of intersexed humans and animals proves this point. So while there may be physical differences between men and women that are genetic and/or physical it is important to understand that some of these differences are socially and culturally constructed. There is a BIG difference between sex and gender. Sex is biological and gender is socially and culturally constructed and, for the most part, is not rooted in anything biological. This brings me to my next point about gender roles.

When you argue that men and women have physical you are arguing something that is biological. Men and women tend to have different physical strengths this is because men are generally able to develop more muscle because they have more testosterone. Again, this division is not absolute because there some women and intersexed individuals who have higher levels of testosterone who are also able to develop substantial physical strength and muscle mass. You mention that women and men have different mental capabilities but you don't give any support for this argument. It is true that men and women have biological differences (there are differences between a male versus female brain) that may, in turn, affect their mental capabilities. See this article for further information on the biological, physical differences between a male and female brain: webmd.com/balance/features/how-male-female-brains-differ?page=2. There is no problem in arguing that there are differences between the male and female brain which might affect mental capabilities; however, there is a problem with arguing that men are more ambitious in their work and women are better with family affairs because these arguments are based on your views of gender roles and are rooted in biological differences between the sexes.

I have marked in bold the parts of your argument that are about gender roles rather than characteristics that have to do with the biological differences and characteristics of the sexes. Gender roles are cultural and personal. This means that gender roles are culturally and socially constructed, they are not biological. There is no biological reason to believe that women would be better suited to family-related jobs because (after all) both men and women are needed to create children. The belief that women are better at family- related responsibilities and men are better/more ambitious in business are both culturally constructed gender roles based on your views of masculinity and femininity. There is absolutely no biological evidence that suggests that a woman is not as successful or ambitious in the workplace compared to a man. Similarly, there is no biological reason why a man could not be as responsible with family affairs as a woman. In fact, there are some men who make better parents then women. You are allowed to believe that women would be better suited to family-based jobs but be careful to distinguish between what you see as a biological difference versus what you believe to be appropriate gender roles. Remember that gender roles are cultural and personal. What you may determine to be appropriate for men and women in terms of how they should speak, dress and interact within the context of society may not be the same for another person in another cultural or socio-political context.

Hope this helps,

Kameela Amer

Writing Feedback / Past feminist movements have boosted gender equality in the society also including universities [6]


I would like to correct something about this statement. This is what I meant to say:

"There is no problem in arguing that there are differences between the male and female brain which might affect mental capabilities; however, there is a problem with arguing that men are more ambitious in their work and women are better with family affairs because these arguments are based on your views of gender roles and are NOT rooted in the biological differences between the sexes".