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Enjoyable Job vs Good Salary - it's crutial that a work suit someone's passion


Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 26, 2015   #1
Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

An occupation may serve different meanings and purposes to different people. Some people believe that an excessive salary is the sole reason to apply for a job, while others point out that their happiness at the workplace is far more important than that. Despite these two perspectives, I am convinced that anyone can spend longer time at his current job as long as he is passionate about it.

Basically, people need money to live. As a matter of fact, two of our most basic requirements to continue breathing are also need to be paid for. They are food and water. In this modern day, people do not grow their own food as their ancestors did in the past time anymore. Moreover, access for clean water is not becoming easier due to its limited sources. In the long run, people need a lot of money from their job in order to live comfortably.

On the contrary, other people think that money is not everything since an enjoyable job is more likely to give them a happier life. There was a study about the happiness level employees in Indonesia who have different levels of earnings in last January. It showed that their happiness only linked weakly with how much their income was. The biggest factor was how the great atmosphere in their workplace instead of the amount of money they own.

While for me, the utmost important factor in a job is whether it suits someone's passion or it is not. The main reason is it can grow that person's motivation and thus, generate a much better performance at work.

Blair_K 3 / 4 4  
May 26, 2015   #2
Hello Trias,

Good job on your draft. I have changed the wording in some areas and added minor details. You can feel free to use the working I have used or you can decide to keep it the way you originally wrote it. My corrections are as follows:

An occupation may serve different meanings and purposes to different people. Some people believe that an excessive high salary is the sole reason to apply for and keep a job, while others point out that their happiness at the workplace is far more important than that their salary. Personally, I believe am convinced that anyone can spend a long time at their current job if they are passionate about it.

Some More Advice:

The second objective of this writing assignment states that you must give your own opinion as to whether or not a higher salary or an enjoyable job is more important. You have given your own opinion which is that a person must be passionate about their job, this is great. I think you should incorporate you opinion as a part of one of the two different opinions that you discussed (whether higher pay or enjoying your job is more important) because I get the sense that this is what your instructor might want. It seems like you are leaning towards the second argument which is that enjoying your job is more important. Maybe say something along these lines: It is important to have passion for your job because this will make you happier and will help to improve your work performance. If your work performance improves as a result of your passion for the job this could lead you to obtaining a better salary through promotions, raises and bonuses.

Hope this is the help you were looking for :)

Best,
Kameela A.
IqbalThemi 44 / 46 13  
May 27, 2015   #3
Broadly speaking, your essay is good. However, I have a few comment. First of all, I think you need to rewrite your introduction.

An occupation may serve different meanings and purposes to different people. Some people believe that an excessive salary is the sole reason to apply for a job, while others point out that their happiness at the workplace is far more important than that. Despite these two perspectives, I am convinced that anyone can spend longer time at his current job as long as he is passionate about it.

I suggest you that if you meet task 2 leading you to discuss both views, it is better for you to mention two perspectives directly that you would like to explain in body paragraph.


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