Writing Feedback / The relevant features summarisation of the information about UK phone calls. [3]

I begin practising IELTS writing task 1. Give me some feedback, please.

"The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, devided three categories, from 1995-2002.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant."

The graph compares the usage of three kinds of telephone call in billion of minutes in the UK between 1999 and 2002. In general, the local phone calls were the most popular over whole period in spite of a dramatic increase of both national and international phone calls and mobiles.

As the graph shows, the number of minutes of local phone calls was just over 70 billion minutes in 1995. This figure rose and peaked at approximately 90 billion minutes in 1999, then subsequently fell to its 1995 level at the end of the period.

Regarding the national and international phone calls, there was a steady increase in the usage from just under 40 billion minutes in 1995 to just over 60 billion minutes in 2002. Also in this upward trend, mobiles usage rose gradually from about 3 billion minutes to 13 billion minutes between 1995 and 1999, then it increased rapidly and stood at 45 billion minutes in 2002.

(162 words)

• 
  Untitled.png
  

Writing Feedback / Violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. IELTS [3]

Please give me some feedbacks. Thank you!

PROMPT: Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Modern television and computer games contain much more graphic violence. While many people criticize that this development is responsible for violent behaviours in society, I believe that this argument is weak.

Critics argue that violent film and video games are the cause of anti-social acts. The reason for this is that violent media desensitize viewers or players to violence and teach children that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflicts. Controversy has erupted since an increase of the number of school shooting cases. One example is the story of Adam Lanza, who shot 26 pupils in a primary school in the US. The newspapers claimed that the cause of his mass shooting seems to relate with playing computer games.

In contrast, advocates who largely disagree with this idea say that violent video games may reduce social violence by providing a safe outlet for aggressive and angry feelings. They also argue that antagonist's arguments which blame crime for video games are not supported by data. While it is undeniable that consumption of violent media increase dramatically every year, researchers also clearly demonstrate that the rate of youth violence is in a long-term downward trend. In addition, there is no positive connection between using violent media and illegal activities in social life.

In conclusion, although there are different points of view on the effects of violent media on human acts, from the outlined reasons above I strongly believe that graphic violence on films and computer games does not have any significant damaging effect on society.

Writing Feedback / More experts migrate from developing to developed countries for better vacancies in technical fields [2]

PROMPT: More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

Much more experts migrate from developing to developed countries for the purpose of applying for vacancies in technical fields. While I agree that human resource in developing countries are being stolen by developed countries, I believe that it is an natural migration of workers.

On the one hand, attraction of experts in around of the world by rich countries is disadvantageous to some extent for poor countries. Firstly, it will be unfair to developing countries if qualified people are robbed by developed countries. In fact, developing countries have to invest considerably for education in order to create human resource. In my country, for example, many engineers and scientists have been granted government scholarships to study abroad about state-of-the-art technologies to improve the country when they come back. Furthermore, every citizen should be responsible for developing the mother country where they was born and grew up.

On the other hand, it seems to me that immigration of specialist to the developed world is a natural law because of some undeniable reasons. Firstly, the rich countries appeal the experts with a wide range of facilities. It is true that they have fully equipped modern workplaces with a plentiful budget for work and research. In addition, insurance and occupational health and safety are top priorities in these countries. Finally, it is the fact that working in rich countries can earn higher salary than those of poor countries.

In conclusion, I believe that the developed world are robbing talents of the developing world through appealing conditions, although this is a natural movement of labourers.