Writing Feedback / Career preparation, increasing knowledge and exploring new experiences; why people attend university [5]

Hello everyone,
I am a new member of this forum. I am improving my writing in order to take an Ielts test. Could you please help to correct my writing?

Thank you very much.
Tien

Herewith my writing:

Topic: In your opinion what is the reasons make people attend university.

Attending the university is the most significant decision in life and people have many reasons to make that decision. In my opinion, there are three most important reasons that are career preparation, increasing knowledge and exploring new experiences.

Firstly, future career preparation is the main reason why people enroll universities. Modern society requires employees advanced their knowledge beside of high school diploma. Most people attend universities because of degrees. After 4-year course they will receive a BA or BS that is a fundamental tool for them to have an initial job. Statistic shows that people have university degree often receive higher pay compares to those only owned high school degrees.

Secondly, during the university time people have such a great time to develop themselves. The subjects they will study are various and advantaged types compare to high school. People read many reference books during the course as well as doing many researches. Fairly says that a university graduated person often has more general knowledge compares to one only completed high school.

Lastly, people explore new experiences during the course. In the beginning, students will learn how think and live independently at least outside of their families. Next, some basic skills for survivor will be improved such as "making friends'' or ''cultivating relationship". After that are plenty of opportunities to travel to new destinations. For instance, I went to Ho Chi Minh city, the biggest city in Vietnam for university and often traveled 2-3 times between this city and my home town every year.

In short, people might enter universities for many personal reasons but I think the most important reasons are future occupation, self-improvement and experiences.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Purchasing a house or business, which one do you prefer? [3]

Hi everyone,
Can you please help me correct my writing?
Thank you very much.
Tien.

Owning a house or a business are signification decisions in everyone's life. In my opinion, I would like to vote for the business and this essay tends to prove this idea.

A house is not an asset unless money is made from it. Normally, owning a house is not carried much profit to the owners compares to a business. As easily seen as many people purchase houses and spend their whole life working hard for paying the mortgages. Of course by the time going, the equity of the house can be increased, however, owning only one house is not allowed people to sell it for profit. Besides, people still have other options to live in a house without purchasing such as renting or leasing. In addition, not owning house allowed people more flexible in moving when their jobs are required. In fact, people still have many options in their life besides owning their houses.

On the other hand, business sometimes is a potential investment. People owned businesses are able to control the destiny themselves. They are working for themselves and have their own clients. Those people often try the best to promote the business and seeking clients. Thus, if the businesses are being well-managed and running, profits will be generated and delivered to the owners. People can achieve financial freedom if the businesses are successful. And finally, profits will create more profitable, business owners can use that profit to pursue their dream houses.

In short, some people would like to own a house in their life, however, I myself support to the business. As it can be a potential and profitable investment helps owners for achieving their dreams.