Undergraduate / The fate of a nation lies in their diet! - Cornell CALS Supplemental Essay - Needs Help in Reviewing [2]

Hi guys, I need help with my CALS essay. As you can see English isn't my first language, so my essay contains a lot of grammatical errors. Any advice, feedback and suggestions which can help me improve my essay is appreciated :) Thank you :)

How have your interests and related experiences influenced the major you have selected in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences? (Please limit your response to 650 words.)

I took a step closer towards the warung near my house - a Bahasa term for the shabby, coconut-frond weaved kiosk in front of me. Hung from the ceiling and laid across a table is an assortment of various preservative-filled flour chips and brightly-colored tartrazine-containing fizzy drinks. Soon after, a bunch of local kids stormed the place, merrily bought and ate these cheaply-sold nibbles and tidbits without the slightest knowledge about the horrifying amount of toxic chemicals added to them callously by the cold-hearted food capitalists of Indonesia. It is very heart-breaking to see how most of the large packaged-food corporates abuses the lack of knowledge and low-income earning of the working class- a majority in this nation. Through displaying an untrue degree of their products' healthiness in TV commercials, these big corporates coaxes the working class to consume these chemically-hazardous based products for the corporate's personal gain of maximizing their profit, while incrementally and drastically harming the health of these innocent consumers. Knowing that the healthy grain-raisin bars and freshly-prepared frozen yoghurts are off these people's limits due to their expensive, import-taxed prices, these big Indonesian food companies' produces and offers detrimental substitutes which are affordable by the low-income earning consumers. None of these major companies specifically strive to design and concoct healthy yet affordable processed food products available for the consumption of Indonesia's working class. Hence, from a very young age I have dreamed big to become Indonesia's pioneering entrepreneur in setting up a food company that produces economical yet healthy snacks which can be enjoyed by all people.

Staying strong with my dream has become a challenge, as people looked at me with incredulity upon the possibility of it happening. But through my intensive studies in IB Economics, and my hobby of reading local economic articles regarding Indonesia's aggregate food industry, I came to know that with utilizing locally supplied raw materials ranging from the premium quality seaweeds cultivated in the coast-lines of Bali and Lesser Sunda Islands to the unique sago starch extracted from the pith of the endemic plant Metroxylon Sagu found in the tropical forests of Moluccas and New Guinea, I can produce reasonably priced, superior-quality snacks.

My overwhelming passion in food biochemistry led me to take rigorous courses of IBDP Higher Level Chemistry and Biology. Tagged along with ardently-conducted researches on citric acids concentrations of Kintamani oranges and sugar levels of Indonesian company-processed mango juices, this zeal further developed my background knowledge and instilled my inquisitiveness in the technicalities of food manufacturing and management.

By creating a massive-scaled industry focusing on manufacturing healthy and affordable food products using locally available raw materials, I can empower many families by opening new fields of employment, and significantly improve this nation by producing cheap but healthy snacks for everybody's enjoyment. For I believe that the fate of a nation lies in their diet! But in order to fulfill it I have to find the perfect learning environment to become the social food entrepreneur of this country.

Fortunately, Cornell University's Food Science major provides the option for learning the Food Operations and Management. I can focus more on learning the applied business and management skills required to set up and maintain a processed-food factory and business, while still learning technical aspects of food manufacturing. Knowing that my goals are aligned with Cornell's aim of making affordable and nutritious food supply, Cornell University will provide the supportive environment for achieving our mutual goal.

Thus, I believe that Cornell University would provide the essential knowledge in innovating healthy snacks from new crop-sources and applying the related economics and business management on the field of food industry. The incorporation of the fields of economics and science pertaining to food has made Cornell the perfect fit in helping me fulfill my calling.

Undergraduate / Habit of Eating Local Food Shaped My Attitude Towards Life - Prompt 1 Common App [4]

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (650 word limit)

Hi, I don't have good writing skills since English isn't my first language. I know that my essay contains many grammatical errors and ambiguous sentences. However, I'd very much appreciate harsh criticism about whether the contents of my essay are addressing the prompt properly and whether it is redundant or not?

Any form of criticism is appreciated. Thanks :) Planning to submit this by Nov 1 :D

Why look for good food in opulent restaurants, when you can look for good food in local kiosks. That's what most people seem to miss, but not me. I regard cheap local culinary adventure as lucrative as gold-hunting and enjoy sitting at these stalls smelling the mixed aroma grilled kebabs, fried rice, and meatball soup. When other people are busy making reservations at a five-star Italian restaurant, I'd be huddling up in a line ordering spicy tofu in a street kiosk. When my friends order Stuffed Crust Pizza or Big Macs for their birthday feast, I'd order Balinese Suckling Pig or Javanese Lamb Satay for mine. Although seemingly menial, my penchant for local food remains an inseparable part of my identity.

This habit of enjoying local delicacies highlights my growing up in a modest economic background. My parents are just humble proprietors of a small interior workshop, but proud owners of big dreams. With all their might and grit, my parents worked hard to pay my expensive tuition fees at an international school, carrying hopes that my siblings and I are able to live a better life compared to them. Excluding the exorbitant spending on education, we would live on a very tight budget. Feasting at a fancy bistro is considered a luxury. Hence, our culinary recreations would instead be held at the nearest night market. I remembered how, sitting on a plastic stool beside a street full of food vendors, my family and I voraciously ate a bowl of bakso (meatball soup) while still able to be sharing laughter and happiness. Perhaps due to this reason, the olfactory sensation coming from the street vendors reminded me of the hard work and sacrifices my parents made for me, reminded me to study hard when I feel tired, reminded me to never lose hope on myself because they haven't lost their hope on me.

I recalled the "nasi bungkus" I had for lunch yesterday. How throughout the years I've grown acquainted to eating this particular local food at school. Although I initially hated the monotonous flavor of the dish, my discovery of its inner value eventually led me to embrace it. The sight of my "nasi bungkus" reminds me of my parents self-less dedication to ensure I receive the best facilities for my future. Through this sudden epiphany I am taught to gladly relish every mouthful of yellow rice entering my mouth and open-handedly receive every bit of tempeh and chicken strips that would be chewed by my impatient molars. In other words, I succeeded in making the most "utility", as economists would say, out of my humble "nasi bungkus". This newly developed attitude inadvertently affected my outlook upon my life. I was able to overlook my past failures as it has been blinded by the overwhelming positivity of my life. I'd walk with a straight back, and a positive look, and confidently say "I couldn't afford it" when my friends invite me to eat at a fancy restaurant. However, what my attitude towards local food taught me most is that whether I'm served a plate of searing tenderloin steak or a can of cold baked beans, I would do what I will always do. Give Thanks.