Posts by Connie31124

Connie31124

Oct 18, 2015

Undergraduate / The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE [11]

Can someone please check out my claim for my personal narrative for my English class.

Have you ever been so scared about trying or doing something new? Well, I have been. Swimming has always been a hobby and an activity that I enjoy doing. It was a peaceful and sunny Saturday afternoon. My mom, Winnie (my little sister), and I decided we would go to a swimming pool in Hayward called Hayward Plunge for 2 hours of swimming. I was having so much fun just swimming laps until my mom asked if I wasn't end to take the swim test.

Connie31124

Oct 18, 2015

Undergraduate / The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE [11]

Thank you so much for the advice I will change it and try to add more things to it. As I am a begginner writer.

Connie31124

Oct 18, 2015

Scholarship / Community leadership involvement initative; voluntary attachment with a community information center [7]

I read your essay and think it is a good paragraph but it can be longer with more detail added in.

MOD - Be more specific and add something useful - next such comment may give you a suspension..

Connie31124

Oct 19, 2015

Undergraduate / The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE [11]

Thank you for the advice I am going to write the rest later and would like you to give advice on that too please.

Connie31124

Oct 19, 2015

Writing Feedback / The famous people should be prepared to be a celebrity - and it's not always a pleasure. [7]

Your essay is very good try adding more detail or examples you left a u in you I'm not much of a help but those are things you might want to consider

Connie31124

Oct 19, 2015

Undergraduate / The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE [11]

Can you please now check my entire essay thanks!!

Have you ever been scared or afraid about trying or doing something new? Well,I have. Swimming has always been a fun exciting and enjoyable activity and hobby I enjoy doing a lot. On a sunny and warm Saturday afternoon. My mom, Winnie ( my little sister) and I went to an indoor poop at Hayward called the Hayward Plunge. I was having so much fun until my mom asked me to take the 11ft deep swimming test. I was so afraid of the test that I went pale.

After paying the cash register and changing into our bathing suits, I walked up the red flight of slippery stairs carefully to get to the swimming pool. After dropping off my backpack and taking off my slippers, I slowly walked into the freezing and cool water. As I dropped into the depth of the

Connie31124

Oct 19, 2015

Undergraduate / The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE [11]

Countinued

water, my body had goosebumps all over my arms. I was shocked at the temperature of the water on such a hot day. I started swimming laps after laps. I was having so much fun until the head life guard yelled, "SWIM TEST!" I didn't think much about the swim test because I have never thought about taking it. I swam up to my mom and little sister then she told me to go try to take the swim test. I didn't want to go take the swim test that was 11ft deep. I could drown I though.

"No thank you," I said to my mom and then swam away. As I swam to the side of the swimming pool, I thought about the test more and more. What was there to lose I thought. As long as I'm safe I might as well do it. After a long five minutes of careful thought, I finally decided that today was going to be the day that I conquer the fear I had of the swim test.

When I finally reached my mom on the other end of the pool. I said, "I will take the swim test." I got up from the pool and started walking towards the deep ends. My walking became slower as I got closer. My hands and feet started to shake with fear. My whole body was trembling. My hart was beating faster and faster by the second. As the person in front of me started getting in the pool, I got very nervous and afraid.

The life guard waved for me to go down into the water and start swimming. I got down into the water with fear holding to the edge of the pool. My face went pale as I started swimming with all my might. At 3/4 of the way, I started getting tired. I started breathing really hard and slowed down dramatically. I told myself to have persistent and continued swimming the distance.

I finally made it to the end and got up out of the pool. As I got up, I felt a gush of happiness, excitement and relieve that I didn't drown. "Congratulations," the life guard said. The life guard gave me the bright green neon paper wristband so I could go to the deeper pools.

Then I finally realized trying something new isn't that bad even if you fail. As long as you are safe there is nothing to be scared of. Sometimes you just have to get out of your comfort zone and try something new or challenging.

Connie31124

Oct 21, 2015

Undergraduate / The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE [11]

Do you think that I would get a good grade on this and am I talking a lot about extra detail and not about the main story?

Connie31124

Apr 9, 2016

Undergraduate / LEADERSHIP APPLICATION; tutoring/classroom assistance and noon-time/spirit activities [2]

please help edit my leadership application i really want to get in also i need help on 4. what are some realistic projects that will make your school a better place?

1. I find that all of the activities are interesting, but the two that stand out to me are tutoring/classroom assistance and noon-time/spirit activities.Tutoring/classroom assistance is interesting to me because I like to help teachers organize papers, hang up work from students, and just help them with anything they need help with. As for tutoring, I excel in math, social studies, and science. Interacting and helping other peers succeed would be a pleasure. Noon-time/spirit activities also sparks my interest. Bringing students together as a school to participate in school wide events such as lunch-time activities, assemblies, and dances. I would contribute to these areas by volunteering either during lunch, after school, or before school . As well as helping set up everything that is needed for activities such as assemblies, dances, etc.

2. I think that I am qualified for Leadership, because I am responsible, organized, a good problem solver, and a goalsetter. One time, I showed exemplary character was during science class when it was suppose to be quiet time. Everyone else was talking instead of doing work, but I was doing my work and not talking. Once they saw me working on my work quietly, they started to work on their work as well. I inspired my table group to do their work and to stop talking when we weren't supposed to.

3. Things special in technology is that I can type on a computer at about fifty words per minute and I know a little about photoshopping. Some instruments that I play i the violin and piano. I am very organized and neat when it comes to papers that I need to keep in every class. Also, a special thing about me is that I have neat handwriting. Past teachers have complimented me that I have neat handwriting and that it seems like I have printer-like handwriting.

4. A project that would help Creekside become a better community would be more activities either after school, during lunches, or during nutrition breaks. The school could have science fairs,

5. I started using a computer since I was about 6. I can type 50 words per minutes. On Word and Google Docs, I can make use of all the tools and edits it provides at the top of Word and Google Docs. On Google Slides, I can make a presentation and organize it to make it easier to know why to type. I also know how to use Excel. Excel is used for calculating data that you put into it, but formulas are needed for that. I know the formulas to adding, subtracting, averages, dividing, and multiplying data on Excel. For emails, I know the formatting of emails. That is all I know how to use that might be useful in Leadership.