Undergraduate / Picking oranges - Common App Essay (transition from childhood to adulthood) HELP [4]

I tried to answer the prompt as best I could. Any suggestions or just a proofread would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

"I know we'll miss each other but I'll still be here another two years!"

It was the 1st grade and I had just told my best friend my family was planning a big move. We were walking back from recess and the news was heartbreaking to both of us, but we still had plenty of time, or so we thought. The days melted to weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years until I was waving goodbye to my best friend from the back of our blue SUV, as she ran behind it as if to prolong the length of our friendship by a few desperate seconds. Then all at once, she was gone and with her, the world as I knew it.

I moved to Riverside when I was eight years-old and was swept away from the coastal, cool atmosphere of my old town into the agricultural community of my present one. My home was sandwiched in the middle of a ten-acre orange grove, and it felt completely foreign. My parents decided that since we had more oranges than we could ever consume, it would be wise to sell them. So all at once my previous life of leisure ended as I now had to immerse myself in the midst of our grove, plucking orange after orange in the heat of the day. Physical activity was not something I had thrived at, with my early, clumsy sporting experiments proving I wasn't an athlete prodigy, but picking oranges was a simple and purposeful task. It was a way of helping my family and giving back to my community through the sweetness of our crop.

When I started high school, my family began selling our oranges to my local school district, which are included in the lunches at elementary schools. This changed things as we were no longer selling bags of oranges here and there to friends but hundreds of bags to who I envisioned as a sea of children. We were able to enlist the help of a few others with this new endeavor, but there were still times when I felt overwhelmed with the new responsibility of our massive orange orders that largely limited my time for school. I was able to learn from my parents what it is to balance mandatory duties with family ones, as they both balance their twelve-hour work days with the combined physical aspect of selling oranges. Back in my old town, I would've never chosen physical labor over a stroll along the beach, but through my experiences I came to find significance behind the hard work that important responsibilities require. I remember learning once that much of Riverside's orange groves are now gone, so having a patch of history within twenty feet of me is something that I greatly appreciate. Our trees aren't centuries old, yet to me they represent the antiquated bond that life's natural treasures can bring. The simplicity of the fruit brings joy to people in a way that I haven't seen another object bring.

In that same aspect, I myself am a rather simple person. I'm not a child prodigy or a national award winner, but I have come to realize you don't have to be to make a difference. I've put effort into providing oranges to children who I've never actually seen, yet I know my efforts haven't been in vain. I know that at a salad bar in some school there's a child excited to have oranges with their lunch and has no idea where they come from, yet if I can contribute to that small moment of excitement, then I've made a difference. Growing up, I never thought I'd spend as much time with a fruit as I do now. It's not something I willingly chose for myself, but was something I was able to adapt to and learn to love.

Undergraduate / Barnard College supplement questions [3]

Any suggestions or revisions would be graciously accepted, thanks!

A. What factors influenced your decision to apply to Barnard College and why do you think the College would be a good match for you? (250 word limit)

When I first learned about the Seven Sisters, I was immediately drawn to Barnard. It was clearly evident to me that the school is a community of strong women who are beautifully confident in a way that I had never witnessed in an intellectual environment. I became immediately enthralled in learning about Barnard and felt as though I had discovered a hidden gem. When I told my friends and teachers about Barnard few of them had heard of it, and others disregarded it once I mentioned that it was a women's college. For me, however, that is exactly what I find most appealing and exciting about Barnard. It fosters and cares about its women while also providing them with the opportunities characteristic of NYC that allow them to grow in their fearlessness and independence.

Barnard has everything that a girl-going-on-woman like myself could ever dream to find in a school, ranging from its communal events like Midnight Breakfast to the rigor of its academics that enhances each woman in her own strengths. The liberal arts education provided at Barnard inspires exploration into a broad range of fields, structured in a way that is uniquely helpful and unparalleled, first with the Nine Ways of Knowing and now with Foundations. The idea of a liberal arts education was not something I originally planned on attaining, but when I read about Barnard, I was quickly entranced and can now hope for nothing less than to be a part of Barnard.

B. Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about? (250 word limit)

When I walk through Riverside's historic main street, I often pass the statue of a woman, who stands with grace and elegance, her body gliding between two real navel orange trees. As a child new to the city, I often wondered who the woman was, as I had never seen a statue placed in the honor of a woman before. I came to find out she is Eliza Tibbets, the woman responsible for importing the first navel orange trees to California in the late 19th century.

If I could talk with Eliza, I would ask what she found most exciting as a pioneer of Western town. I would inquire what her fight for women's rights meant to her and tell her of all the tremendous ways women have progressed in their power and influence. I would thank her for the affect she's had on my own life; the only reason my family can even own navel oranges is because of her actions that came to revolutionize my city and and allow people like me, generations later, to grow and thrive in her orange-filled world.

Throughout my life I came to increasingly admire the statue of Eliza Tibbets, with the quiet dignity and simple elegance portrayed in her figure being something I aspire toward. She was a true pioneer in a time when women were thought to play such small and insignificant roles in society, but had the power to change lives in a way only perceivable by those like herself.

C. Alumna and writer Anna Quindlen says that she "majored in unafraid" at Barnard. Tell us about a time when you majored in unafraid. (250 word limit)

I was standing in the Mission Inn Museum anxious that someone might walk through the door. It was my first time volunteering and my job was simple: I was to welcome people in, explain the mystery question, and award them a prize if they successfully found the answer.

My whole life I've been characterized by others as a shy person and from a young age I let this affect my perception of what my abilities were. People often characterize shy people as being abnormalities in the midst of the outgoing majority.

The first group walked in, a family of four, I greeted them with a smile and performed my task with a conjured-up confidence. I gained greater confidence the more people I met and was able to interact with, until I actually became excited to see who would walk through the door. Each person I met was distinctly unique, and I listened with gratitude to the spontaneous stories they offered up about special pieces of their lives.

When I volunteered to be a Youth Ambassador, it initially seemed impossible, but I did it to work toward improvement. I was determined to prove to myself that being shy was something that couldn't stop me from success, and by doing so, was able to find a passion in interaction I was unaware I had. I freed myself from the misperceptions of others that had so long affected my life and can now appreciate that being shy is what makes me human.