Undergraduate / 'Raised in Texas' - How did you first learn about Rice University and what motivated you to apply? [7]

If someone would someone give me feedback on my short answer, I would really appreciate it.

(250 word limit)

Raised in Texas, Rice University was always pressured on to me by my parents because of its distance from home and ranking. However despite these reasons, I always questioned whether Rice was truly the school I wanted to go.

While being hounded by my parents to apply to Rice, I truly wondered what Rice University had to offer to me. Researching through the website and mechanical engineering section, I learned about the exclusive programs for freshman students. I noticed the course ENGI 150 which integrates engineering principles with real world problems and offers students the chance to create their own personalized solutions during their first year which many universities do not offer until the third or fourth year. Further attracting me to the school was the phenomenal research of Professor Spanos about modern nanocomposites and the effect on material strength, something I look forward to engage in and contribute to. Going from the facilities to student life, I discovered that the amazing close-knit community between the students. The alumni from the university all emphasize the approachability between the students which was very important to me because I think an interactive community enhances the college experience.

Rice University attracted me because of excellent freshman engineering undergraduate programs, teachers, and the student life at the school. The fact of the matter is that despite having initial doubts toward Rice due to parental pressure; Rice is actually a school that I feel I will enjoy.

242 words

Undergraduate / Harvard Essay: You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following: [2]

I wrote this essay based on my what I learned from my faith. The topic would be:
Unusual circumstances in your life if It was related to anything.

Any feedback would be appreciated. I feel like it can be more concise, but I don't know how to word it properly.

I was born with two fathers. One who has raised me physically and one who raised me spiritually. One I see every day when I come home from school, while the other I see in a photo on my bedside table. While my biological father nurtures my physical body, my spiritual father nurtures my mental development through his guidance and example.

As a child, I remember reciting my spiritual father's name repeatedly, before I even saw him, until it became ingrained in my mind. Due to the fact he was revered by my teachers and parents, I figured he possessed powers and asked him for material things such as a playstation or a new toy car, never at the time realizing his true significance. I remember that when I was gifted what I prayed for, I started appreciating my spiritual father for listening to me, but at the same time, I remember skipping Mosque for days at a time when my request was ignored.

Growing up, I started questioning the purpose of my spiritual father because I realized the father that I prayed to as a child was a complete enigma to me. Questions like who he really is, what he really does, why I follow him, how is he legitimate, what makes him special started surfacing in my mind. To find answers, I rigorously researching into the individual that I called my father. While researching, I came across his extensive work for his spiritual children and learned the type of person he was. I learned about how he led fifteen million people from the age of twenty and, through the decades, worked in countless countries to help improve the quality of life of his followers by building universities, homes, and hospitals. I learned about the sacrifices he makes mentally, physically, and economically all to improve the lives of his children. All my questions were answered, and my spiritual father became something more than a figure to pray to, he became my role model.

Through the years, I started appreciating and loving my spiritual father rather than taking him for granted as I did when I was a child. I've come to realize that he's always beside me to supporting me in my times of need, despite not being with me physically, because his guidance serves to encourage me in times where I feel the weakest. He causes me to go far past the point where others would quit because he is doing the same every day for my benefit. He only requests that his children become excellent in all aspects of their life, and for that reason, I strive to become better, in order to my father proud.

I am a Shia Imami Ismaili Nizari Muslim. My sect is one of seventy-two different sects in Islam today, but it is the only sect to have a present living Imam with a hereditary link to Prophet Muhammad. My spiritual father is His Highness Aga Khan IV, Shah Karim.

498 words