chelsea17
Mar 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Simply raise the price of petrol can not fulfil the long-term goal to reduce traffic and pollution [8]
I've written an essay and amended once, but it still read not smoothly. Is it because I used too many 'increase' and 'become'? What's the alternative words? Or because my structure is not logical enough? Thanks for any review.
Q: Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree and disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
Essay:
There have been increasing concerns about the traffic jams and pollution accompany with the growth of cities all around the world. Increasing petrol price becomes one of the solution that can solve these problems but not sustainable and efficient enough.
Undoubtedly, more and more people purchasing private vehicles as well as growing amount of public transport are main factors of traffic and pollution problems. Associating with the spread of urban areas and some other features such as personal desire, it is essential to find the most efficient way to travel around the cities quickly and conveniently. However, it seems like a dilemma that this goal can never be achieved by too many people having the same goal.
One controversial opinion is increasing the petrol price to prevent people from both buying and their cars. Supporters argue that people will be more willing to use public transport or share cars. Nevertheless, the ideal assumption might not be realised because petrol price relates to almost every aspect of human beings' lives. All the resources, food and necessities become costly. It means all people are affected because all merchandises will be more expensive. Therefore, the solution is not sustainable and might even damage the economy.
On the contrary, some moderate methods might be more applicable and helpful. Firstly, institutions should regulate the possession of driving license. Either intentional or reckless violations will cause traffic jam. Secondly, toll can be set higher after vehicles passing through the high ways. Last but not least, promotion of vehicles using clean power, such as electric cars, is vital. They can not only reduce pollution but also save raw materials.
In conclusion, simply raise the price of petrol can not fulfil the long-term goal. Traffic and pollution problems need help from various aspects.
I've written an essay and amended once, but it still read not smoothly. Is it because I used too many 'increase' and 'become'? What's the alternative words? Or because my structure is not logical enough? Thanks for any review.
Q: Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree and disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
Essay:
There have been increasing concerns about the traffic jams and pollution accompany with the growth of cities all around the world. Increasing petrol price becomes one of the solution that can solve these problems but not sustainable and efficient enough.
Undoubtedly, more and more people purchasing private vehicles as well as growing amount of public transport are main factors of traffic and pollution problems. Associating with the spread of urban areas and some other features such as personal desire, it is essential to find the most efficient way to travel around the cities quickly and conveniently. However, it seems like a dilemma that this goal can never be achieved by too many people having the same goal.
One controversial opinion is increasing the petrol price to prevent people from both buying and their cars. Supporters argue that people will be more willing to use public transport or share cars. Nevertheless, the ideal assumption might not be realised because petrol price relates to almost every aspect of human beings' lives. All the resources, food and necessities become costly. It means all people are affected because all merchandises will be more expensive. Therefore, the solution is not sustainable and might even damage the economy.
On the contrary, some moderate methods might be more applicable and helpful. Firstly, institutions should regulate the possession of driving license. Either intentional or reckless violations will cause traffic jam. Secondly, toll can be set higher after vehicles passing through the high ways. Last but not least, promotion of vehicles using clean power, such as electric cars, is vital. They can not only reduce pollution but also save raw materials.
In conclusion, simply raise the price of petrol can not fulfil the long-term goal. Traffic and pollution problems need help from various aspects.