Writing Feedback / Corporate newsletter answer - GMAT AWA essays rated? [4]

Please give me feedback on this essay. Please give a rating between 0-5 as it is on GMAT AWA section...Eagerly waiting for all your replies.

The following appeared in the editorial section of a corporate newsletter.

"The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published
survey indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the
topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs."

My answer:

The author of the editorial section of a corporate newsletter makes an argument that the common notion that workers are generally apathetic about managment issues is false or outdated. The author supports his argument by a survey which indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to the survey questionnaries expressed a high level of intrest in the topics of corporate restructuring and restructuirng of benefits programs. Although the argument seems to be convincing, it appears problematic in two critical respects.

First, the argument is based on the results of a survey that 79 percent of employees expressed high level of intrest in managment issues. However the author fails to look for a gap in the assumption in that the 79 percent of the 1200 workers may be actually dealing with the managment work only. Therefore, these employees may actually represent the employees who already work as managers and so will obviously have a high level of intrest in topics mentioned.

On the other hand, even if it is considered that all the employees who responded positively to survey are not managers, they could be employees who have expressed their interest in the restructuring because these employees could get actually benefited out of the participation in the programs. The employees may be participating actively for their own special benefits that have nothing to do with the other managment issues.So, it cannot be rightly concluded that workers are apathetic about managment issues is false.

All in all, it can be said that this is a weak argument. To strengthen the argument the author should have a more detail analysis not only on the results of the survey but also on the basis of survey, like the ones mentioned above. Only when the author rules out other possible factors and could conclude that only the survey results are necessary and sufficient for the above conclusion, will make the mentioned conclusion feasible.

Writing Feedback / 200 students from Waymarsh State College - rate my essay [NEW]

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The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper.

"This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capital building to protest against proposed cuts in
funding for various state college programs. The other 12,000 Waymarsh students evidently weren't so concerned about their education:
they either stayed on campus or left for winter break. Since the group who did not protest is far more numerous, it is more representative of

the state's college students than are the protesters. Therefore the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students."

My answer :

The author of a editoral section of a local newspaper argues that the state legislature should go ahead with the cuts in funding available for various state college programs. The argument is based on the premises that only 200 students in the Waymarsh college walked to the state capital building to protest against the proposed fund cutting while the other 12,000 students did not participate in the protest. Although this argument seems somewhat convincing, some issues need to be addressed.

To begin with, the author doesnt not the consider the possibility that the 12000 students who did not participate in the protest may not actually be eligible for the funding. If only 200 students from the college are eligible for the funding, it will make the participation 100%.So only the number 200 cannot lead to a fruitful conclusion. Also, it could be possible that the course for which the 12000 students opted may not have provisions for funding, so it is out of question that they will join the protest.

Morever, the students who did not participate in the protest by travelling to the state capital building might have done so through other medium like internet, newspaper, television etc. .So travelling to the captial building does not represent the only method of protest. Therefore, the students participating in this protest may not well represent the total number of protesters.

To conclude, this is a weak argument as the author bases the findings on the premises that cannot be reliably generalised. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide evidence to support his idea that travelling to state building was the only way through which the students protested the state legislature's proposed fund cutting for programs and that the legislature can take an unbiased decision based only on the results of the survey.. Also, it should be made obviously evident that the students who did not participate in the protest did so only due to lack of concern about their education. Only then it can be logically concluded that the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students.

Writing Feedback / My essay on analysis of Commercialism. Scale of 0-5. [2]

"Commercialism. Hidden text has become too widespread. It has even crept into schools and places of worship.
Every nation should place limits on what kinds of products, if any, can be sold at
certain events or places."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed
above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own
experience, observations, or reading.

My Answer:

The argument made is that commercialism has become very widespread and its ramifications have reached even schools and places of worship.Also, the author convinces that every nation should place limits on the products allowed to be sold at certain places or events. While it is true that commerialism is spreading at a faster pace, sometimes it becomes necessary to commerialize the products and services. In my opinion, the government as well as the product company should find a midway about the extent and also the places of commerialism.

One reason why commerialism is becoming so raplidly applicable to different places is that the technology is changing at such a faster speed, that technologies in the recent past are becoming rapidly extinct. To remain competitive in the field, product companies are commerialising their products and services in every plausible way. For example,the spiritual prayers were earlier taught by preists orally in the church. But now, those are becoming readily available on computer CD's and DVD's. Some perople may think that this is commerialisation of spirituality but, to some it may just be a new way of seeking the same goal.

Second reason can be stated that due to golbalisation and shrinking of globe, the product companies are rapidly commercialising to gain competitve advantage in the market for getting an international recognition. For example, a corporate banking company, to reach out to its widespread consumers,may enter into retail banking and win consumers by advertising and automating its services.

Nevertheless, the argument made by the author is true to some extent that commercialism has crept into schools and places of worship. Schools now advertise the quality of thier education and attract a large group of people to enroll into its academic programs.In such cases, it also becomes the responsiblity of the consumer of assuring the quality and then only buy a product or service.

In sum, commercialism has become the necessity of generation and has given signs of spreading its roots deep into society.While in some cases, commercialism has become necessary due to rapid technology growth, its unnecessary participation in some places can be controlled by the government or by the product providing company itself according to the direction of government.

Writing Feedback / Employers should observe employees - Analysis essay [2]

Rather than using the traditional question and answer interviews to evaluate job candidates,
employers should observe as they perform some of jobs actual tasks.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed
above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own
experience, observations, or reading.

The issue at hand of either using an interview as an evalutaion tool of candidate or reviewing the performance of of the employee on the actual tasks of job is a controversial one.On one hand, question and answer interviews are necessary because employees can be actually judged on the answers or solutions they provide to the questions thrown

at interview. On the other hand, interviews may not sometimes fully represent the cadidates actual personality and hidden talents in as short time period.However in the final analysis, I believe that interviews are an inseperable part for the selection of an appropriate candidate with pre-requisite knowledge of the job role and resposibility.

One reason for my belief that interviews are necessary is that the answers or solutions provided by the candidate to the questions posed represent the knowledge of the candidate in the field. It shows how well the candidate can handle situations and find out solutions to problems. It also represents how spontaneous is the candidate in ariving at a solution or giving an innovative idea.

Another reason for my belief is that interviews can be treated as a stage which represents the personality of the employee. The unique body-language, expressions,confidence-level, eye-contact are only possible in a face-to-face interview. These unique personality traits can go unidentified without a interview.

Perhaps the best reason is interviews,if correctly judged, can give an idea of how well the candidate would perform in the actual job environment. Without interview, giving a candidate a direct opportunity to work in an organisation may posess great risks of wastage of valuable resources of time and money if the employee fails to achieve the desired goals.

For all these reasons, I therefore believe that interviews play a crucial role in selection of candidate in that it can give a clear picture of how well the candidate is suited for a job that demands knowledge and experience. On the contrary, giving a candidate a direct opportunity to perform on actual tasks may pose a serious risk of wasting valuable resources like time and money if the candidate fails to achieve the desired objectives.

Writing Feedback / Essay on how well reasoned was an argument - scale of 0-5 [2]

The following appeared in an article in a consumer-products magazine

"Two of today's best-selling brands of full-strength prescription medication for the relief of excess stomach acid, Acid-Ease and Pepticaid, are now available in milder nonprescription forms. Doctors have written 76 million more prescriptions for fullstrength Acid-Ease than for full-strength Pepticaid. So people who need an effective but milder nonprescription medication for the relief of excess stomach acid should choose Acid-Ease."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning ...

An advertisement in a consumer-products magazine convinces readers to use Acid-Ease, an effective but milder nonpresciption midicine. The argument claims that acid-Base would relieve the consumer of the excess stomach acid in an effective way. The argument is based on the assumption that doctors have written seventy six million more prescritpions for full strength Acid-Ease than for full-strength Pepticaid and that the medicines are now available in milder and nonprescription form. The argument is not very convincing as it fails to adress some major issues to derive the conclusion.

First, the argument is based on the assumption that doctors have written seventy six million more prescription for full strength Acid-Ease than for full-length Pepticaid. However, the argument fails to prove a reliabale measure of how these figures were arrived at and basis used to calculate this figure. For instance, it could be possible that the same doctor, who is in favor of using Acid-Ease,might have prescribed the same midicine to number of patients. A

more reliable figures like the total number of doctors surveyed,the basis on which they recommended this medicine and so on would be helpful.

Second, the argument never adresses whether the prescipted drugs by seventy six million doctors actually relieved the pain of the patients.A more specific analysis reports as to how many people used the medicine and how many of them actually could get relief,the nature,severity of pain would help in drawing a frutiful conclusion that the medicine was really effective.

Third, the assumption states that the drug or medicine is available without prescritpion. The availability of a medicine without the requirement of prescrition would actually call into question the safety and effectiveness of the drug.People can think of this as a strategy of the product company to increase its reduced sales and may doubt on the safety of the medicine usage.

Finally, the argument provides no evidence that could prove Acid-Ease as a effective but nonprescription medication, which actually provides relief of excess stomach. Evidences to prove this argument would prove the conclusion logical.

In sum, the stated arguement is a weak argument. To strengthen the argument, evidences of actual number of people getting pain relief out of total number of people using the medicine should be provided.Also, the basis of survey which led to the figure of seventy six million more

doctors prescibing Acid-Ease should be stated in more detail and yet cricially analysed.

Writing Feedback / What education fails to teach us - analysis essay [4]

"What education fails to teach us is to see the human community as one.
Rather than focus on the unique differences that separate one nation from another,
education should focus on the similarities among all people and places on Earth."

What do you think of the view of education expressed above? Explain, using
reasons and/or specific examples from your own experience, observations, or
reading.

My Answer:

Even though it is true that the human community is above all other mundane traits, each nation is unique in itself
and provides a unique blend of its culture, language and heritage. Only learning the similarities among all people
and places on the earth may not serve the purpose of viewing the human community as one. For that matter,
it should be accompanied by even the unique difference among the nations.

On one hand differences may be viewed as the best teachers of learning a nation and its history. The differnces would best describe the evolution of the nation and would reflect how the current trends emergerd in a place. For example,studying the European and American history would put light on how the current trends eventually evolved from the earlier generations. According to me, education could provide the mere facts in history and the sole decision of following or having a opinion should be left entirely to the reader.At last education is meant to broaden the horizons of views and depth of knowledge.

On the other hand, studying each unique nation, it would actually provide the detail insights into its culture, history, government organisations, heritage and so on. Studying these differnces would actually go long way from just studying the differnces. For example, if a business school focuses on studying the differnt nationalities, it would help a finance student to apply this knowledge to various factors like banking regulation that would truly be in

favour of the culture and beliefs of local tradition.

In sum, it could be maintained that studying differences that seperate nations along with the similarities between them could reap greater benefits than by studying the similarities alone.