Posts by Freeman

Freeman_ps1983

Jul 23, 2016

Writing Feedback / [ielts Task 2] Increasing global demand of oil and gas, should continue explore? [2]

Hi yon959, your essay is very well for both skeleton and supporting ideas. However, I have some minor comments as follows.

1.Over the past decades, the petroleum industry has gone through a boom period, "go through something"normally mean to experience a difficult situation which contrast with "boom period", and"period" is the redundant because "boom" means period of growth. So, sentence may change to"the petroleum industry has entered a golden age" .

2....such as unlimited(renewable) energy from sun, wind and water.

3. In the conclusion paragraph, you should give a sentence by paraphrase your thesis statement in the introduction in order to strongly show that you do not agree to access the undiscovered areas.

Freeman_ps1983

Jul 27, 2016

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task2: Children are forced to study even their leisure time. Is that a good practice? [5]

Despite of playing in spare times, many parents tend to pressure their children into learning in particular subjects. In my opinion, I agree that parents should encourage them for after-school studies in order to excel in their knowledge.

Many people argue that childhood's life is fundamentally important which shapes their future of educational achievement. Recent research confirms that children learn more quickly during their early age than at any other time of life. After-school education in China, for example, has boomed over the last decades because parents believe that studying in class is not sufficient for children. Thus, many offer them an opportunity for class outside school as much as possible. And it is proofed that those children will succeed in their life and education.

Some people support the opinion that parents should not push children too much particularly studying in the free time because they should have the right to do other things that they want. For example, referring to a research studied by UNESCO, children living in developed nations are facing with stressfulness from parents. It has been show that children are miserable when they study hard in both normal school and special class because they have no time for recreational activities such playing with friend and watching television.

In conclusion, I think that parents should allow children some time for recreation after class or weekend in order to let them release pressure from learning. However, parents should find suitable subjects which they interested for expanding their knowledge.